


Counterpoise

by boxparade



Series: Synergy [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Developing Relationship, F/M, Family Feels, M/M, Mission Fic, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, Post-Chapter 698, Team Dynamics, Threesome - F/M/M, for the first half and then...not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:40:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7696876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxparade/pseuds/boxparade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the mission from hell.</p><p>A homecoming gift for Sasuke the reformed traitor, cooked up by Tsunade in the final days of her incumbency, and entrusted to the Sixth Hokage to assign to them, since Kakashi is the only one who would agree to send the newly reunited Team 7 on a three-week C-rank mission to the Land of Swamps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *waves awkwardly* Hi!
> 
> This is my inaugural Naruto/anime fic, but there should be plenty more to come.
> 
> Some notes, if you want to know what you're getting into:
> 
> The first half of the story is Sakura's POV, and the second half shifts between the members of Team 7 (except Sai because I forgot about him accidentally-on-purpose.)
> 
> This is actually the first fic in a series of three but it's finished, has a proper ending, and stands on its own. I'm not putting it in a series grouping just yet because I haven't finished the other two.
> 
> Unbeta'd, as always. Lots of love for comments and CC.
> 
> Finally, thanks to the folks over at [r/fanfiction](https://www.reddit.com/r/fanfiction) for giving me a little push. It's a great sub, y'all should check it out.
> 
> Happy reading~!
> 
> .
> 
> A/N - 17 Nov 2016: It has come to my attention that I'm probably using way too much Japanese in my writing. Whoops! My inner weeb is showing.
> 
> I'm incredibly busy in real life right now, but I am going to be making some minor edits in this fic to un-Japanese-ify it a little. I'm keeping honorifics in dialogue for sure, but everything else I'm going to decide on a case-by-case basis.
> 
> The sequel is literally one scene away from being done, but I'm dragging my feet. Blame my first full-time job. I've got a website due for release by Wednesday so my entire brain is media queries. (Bootstrap why do you suck???)
> 
> There are also plans to strip the unnecessary Japanese from the sequel and threequel, so if it's been bothering you, there's nothing to fear there. :)
> 
> Happy November. Eat lots of turkey and forget how slow I'm being.
> 
> .

_This is the mission from hell,_ Sakura thinks, wiping her forehead with her forearm and smearing both with more sweat and dirt and blood. A homecoming gift for Sasuke the reformed traitor, cooked up by Tsunade in the final days of her incumbency, and entrusted to the (official but avoidant) Sixth Hokage to assign to them, since Kakashi is the only one who would agree to send the newly reunited Team 7 on a three-week C-rank mission to the Land of Swamps.

Sakura is going to renounce the both of them as her teachers, as soon as she’s out of this swamp and back in Konoha.

“Ack! Bastard! Stop spraying that shit in my face!”

“Stop walking behind me, idiot.”

“But how else am I gonna know where to step so I don’t fall into quicksand?”

“Sasuke is likely using his heightened senses as a ninja to determine if there is quicksand. I was not aware your senses were so sub-par in comparison, Naruto.”

“Shut the hell up, Sai! What do you know anyway? You’re flying up on that stupid bird!”

“I am simply using my abilities as a ninja to avoid quicksand.”

“Fine! Then I’ll just make a hundred shadow clones and find the best—”

Naruto is just realizing—for possibly the hundredth time today—that he only has one arm and can’t actually form shadow clones at the moment, when Sakura snaps.

“Naruto! We can’t have a hundred of you stomping around the swamp making an even bigger mess. Besides, there’s no quicksand in the Land of Swamps. Just a lot of–” her feet squish down in the muck, up well above her ankles and splattering even higher, “-swamp.”

“Ugh!” Naruto whines, and his hand drops from its attempt at half a seal while he continues mucking his way after Sasuke. “The only reason we even got stuck with a stupid C-rank is because _someone_ spent three years playing with snakes—”

“And I suppose toads are so much better?” Sasuke throws back, with a haughty “Hn.”

“My toads could eat your snakes any day! You wanna go?!”

“No one is ‘going’ anywhere!” Sakura snaps, and she groans as she jumps as high as she can out of the swamp and onto a nearby log.

Naruto and Sasuke both stop walking, their feet squelching and sinking into the slime nearly up to their knees. Sai’s bird starts to fly in small circles above them.

“Well, _now_ we’re not,” Naruto says, “‘Cause you stopped. Why—”

Sakura groans and says “Shut up, Naruto.” She rushes through a couple of hand seals for a simple _suiton_ and pulls clean, clear water from the swamp to spray from her fingertips and wash herself off. She’s a little damp now, but it’s better than swampy, so she hums in satisfaction and then focuses chakra to the bottom of her feet so she can step out on top of the muck instead of sinking into it.

Naruto’s jaw drops. Sasuke presses his lips together into a thin, white line. Both of the idiots had been too stupid to consider doing this. (Granted, she had only just thought of it herself, half an hour into this swamp, but she’s still doing better than them both. Although Sai is currently winning, and also being an asshole because he refuses to give them all birds.)

“Lets go,” she says curtly, sweeping past the both of them (a good head taller, since she’s no longer sinking into the muck) and taking the lead.

“Wait! Sakura-chan, can you do that water thing for me, too?” Naruto whines, and she hears sickening squelching noises as he picks his legs up out of the swamp and climbs on top of the muck to follow after her. Sasuke follows as well, and Sai stops flying in circles to continue on, flying just above Sakura in the lead.

Sakura huffs and ignores Naruto’s whining, leading them through the swamp to the town they’re supposed to find the dignitary they’ve been assigned to guard during the bicentennial Swamp Festival. (Why on earth anyone would ever have a Swamp Festival, let alone one that’s gone on for 200 years, she has yet to understand, but she’s been given this mission and she’s damn well going to complete it to the best of her ability as a kunoichi of Konoha. C-ranked or not.)

She’s not sure what the point of this mission is, to be honest. Because it’s not guarding the dignitary. That’s a mission for genins fresh from the academy, not for the ridiculously overpowered New Team 7. Naruto and Sasuke may still technically be genins, but even with only one arm each they’re both well beyond kage level and Tsunade knows that. Sai used to be Root, so he exists in a rank all his own, and Sakura is only a chunin in name. Since the war, she’s well surpassed jonin level, and she expects to pass her jonin evaluation with ease once Konoha is in a stable enough position to do them.

What, then, is she doing traipsing through a swamp en route to a low-level dignitary of a tiny civilian country with her three moronic teammates who can’t seem to stop bickering long enough to get enough oxygen to their underdeveloped brains?

She’s being punished, surely. She’s made some sort of grievous mistake and Tsunade and Kakashi have seen fit to punish her for it.

Her real mistake was accepting to be put on a team with Naruto and Sasuke when they were all 12. She would never say it to Ino’s face, but Sakura envies how she was destined to form another generation of Ino-Shika-Chou. Sakura would happily take Chouji and Shikamaru over these two idiots.

She wonders if it’s too late to ask Ino if she wants to switch teams. Ino can have Sasuke. She can have all three of them. (Although according to the rumor mill, Ino’s already had Sai and determined him unworthy of her affection before she moved on to the next eligible Konoha bachelor.)

But Sakura’s luck ran out a while ago. (She used the last of it during the war, when she found Naruto and Sasuke at the Valley of the End and they were still breathing. And she would use it again and again and again, every time, no matter how much they drive her insane.)

She speeds to a run, finally picking up on the different chakra pressure required to walk on a surface so much thicker than water, and calls back “Hurry up! I am _not_ camping overnight in this place, it stinks.”

She thinks she can hear Naruto grumbling behind her, so she just speeds up until the wind rushing in her ears drowns him out.

They don’t wind up camping overnight in the swamp. But the town they reach smells exactly like the swamp, so the only real difference is that she gets a bed instead of a sleeping bag on the ground. Although she might also get a bath, so she almost forgives Tsunade and Kakashi for giving her this mission. (Almost.)

The town they’re looking for is the next one over, which means they’ll have about another day’s travel through (of course) more swamps before they can meet up with their dignitary and settle in for the duration of the festival. They find a small inn just at the edge of this town that’s only got one room available, since apparently the Swamp Festival is world-renowned and widely traveled to. (Her grin had frozen in horror as the innkeeper had told her this, and she’d barely managed a polite nod and a “One room will be just fine, thank you.”)

She stomps off angrily toward room 204, key clenched in her fist, three boys trailing behind her. Their fear and awe doesn’t last long though, Naruto brushing past her into the room so he can collapse on the nearest bed with a heaving sigh, arm and legs thrown wide. He’s still covered in the dried, flaking chunks of mud and swamp, and now he’s gotten it all over the bed.

Sasuke grabs him around the ankle and physically yanks him to the floor. Naruto squawks and flails, and then says “What the hell—”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Yeah well you’re _more_ disgusting!”

“I would argue that you’re equally disgusting,” Sai says mildly.

Sakura doesn’t want to deal with this, and she doesn’t have to. “I’m going to go find the baths,” she says over all of their arguing, “Touch the other bed and you’ll be sleeping six feet underground.” Then she turns on her heel and marches back to the innkeeper so she can inquire about the baths.

She’s going to take a long, hot, _long_ bath. Maybe when she’s done she’ll wake up from this awful genjutsu.

(It’s not a genjutsu, unfortunately, but the hot water does manage to quell the worst of her homicidal rage.)

Considering this inn is at maximum capacity and it’s surrounded by swamps, she’s surprised there aren’t more people here. Just a few other women, and a mother and daughter who are leaving just as she’s entering. She’s not in the mood for socialization, especially not with foreign civilian women, so she picks a defensible corner and sticks to it, lowering her shoulders down into the water and leaning her head back with her eyes closed.

She shouldn’t be as bothered as she is about the bickering. That’s always been how Naruto and Sasuke have worked, and she could hardly expect that to change now. Not when it’s the most normal thing about Sasuke’s return to Konoha. Those first few weeks after her came back (and after his extended hospital stay) she was constantly worried he was going to leave again. Even chakra-sealed and attending trials every hour of every day, it still seemed like he was just biding his time until he could take off. Find another mad scientist to undo the chakra seals and come back to Konoha leading an army.

Of course, Naruto was never worried about any of this. He was entirely convinced Sasuke was here to stay, and Sakura had thought him such a fool.

But it appears Naruto was right. Sasuke stayed and stood trial—either a lot of trials or a single trial that lasted weeks, depending on who you talk to—and now he’s a reinstated Konoha ninja. But she can’t help but think this is an outcome of Naruto’s own engineering, whether he knows it or not. He was at every trial, every hearing, every closed-door meeting he could sneak his way into. He pled Sasuke’s case so many times over that eventually everyone just agreed to Sasuke’s release so Naruto would shut up (so goes the rumor, anyway.)

Sakura attended her fair share of trials too, of course, but she never had the kind of conviction Naruto had. She’s still not sure which she would’ve preferred, Sasuke’s imprisonment or his reinstatement. She’s not sure Sasuke is still sane. You can take the psychotic snake out of the boy, but you can’t really, or what have you. She supposes she’s keeping an eye out for signs one way or another.

Meanwhile, Sasuke and Naruto are still Sasuke and Naruto, and dying declarations or not, they’ll always be at each other’s throats. But she resents the Hokages for assigning her as their babysitter once again when she could be back at Konoha Hospital, working to treat people that aren’t hopelessly incurable.

This is definitely punishment, and she’s going to find out what for and make sure she never does it again.

When she returns to the room, clean and significantly calmer, the blankets have been changed on the dirty bed, Naruto and Sasuke are stripped down and marginally cleaned up in the middle of the room on the floor, and Sai is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Sai?”

Naruto looks up from his (pathetic) one-armed headlock on Sasuke, and glances around the room before he shrugs and says “Dunno. I was busy. Ask this bastard.”

Sakura turns her eyes to Sasuke, who’s slipped easily from Naruto’s grasp and is scowling in Naruto’s direction. “How should I know where that pale freak went?”

Which means the both of them were too busy squabbling to pay any attention to their surroundings. (She revokes her previous statement of them reaching kage-level. They’re not worthy of being ninjas.)

“I thought you had a thing for pale freaks.”

“Apparently you do too, if he’s my replacement.”

“Did you just call yourself a pale freak?”

“No, you fucking moron—”

Sakura is proud of her restraint, not reducing this room and its occupants to a pile of rubble. But it would be difficult to explain to the innkeepers, so instead she just growls “Shut the hell up. I’m going to sleep.” She stomps over to the bed closest to the window, clicking out the lights as she goes, and slides between clean sheets on one side, leaving room for another person, though she doubts any of them would dare try to share a bed with her, even on a mission.

Naruto and Sasuke only manage a minute before she can hear them whispering at each other in between half-hearted sparring, trying to fight over who gets the other bed, (“I’m not sleeping anywhere near you, bastard!” and “Then you’re sleeping on the floor.” and “No way! You’re the one who—”) since they’re not emotionally mature enough to realize that this is a mission and sharing a bed will not mean anything.

Sai returns before they work it out, stealing the bed while they’re busy fighting, and Naruto whines about it until Sai tells him to please be quiet so that he and Sakura can sleep.

Sasuke just huffs and says “I’ll take first watch” before he settles himself with his back to the door.

Naruto is quiet for a moment, which probably means he’s glaring at Sasuke, but then he settles down on the floor with a pillow stolen from Sai’s bed shoved under his head.

Sakura is going to kill them all. She’s not even going to feel sorry about it.

In the morning, though.

 

* * *

 

Another day of swamp-walking does nothing to lift their moods, even if they all keep relatively clean now that they’re traveling on top of the muck. It still smells like a sewer (and very well might be runoff from one) and Sasuke and Naruto have now progressed into some sort of silent glare-off, which would be better than bickering out loud if they weren’t constantly trying to trip each other.

“Stop it!” Sakura snaps, when Naruto makes a feint for Sasuke’s legs that cuts right across her path and nearly causes her to go stumbling face-first into the swamp. Naruto looks properly shame-faced, but Sasuke is smirking, saying “I win” like this is some sort of competition in their ridiculous, never-ending rivalry.

Naruto opens his mouth to argue back, but Sakura cuts him off sharply. “I thought you guys were supposed to be friends.”

“Hn,” Sasuke flicks his head away from the both of them, closing his eyes. “Why would I ever be friends with a moron like—”

“Oh, so then you blew each other’s arms off for no reason?” Sakura says viciously. That seems to trip them up, and they both falter a little in their steps before regaining their footing. Their faces are both wiped clean of any traces of their fighting from earlier though, replaced by something close to shock. She realizes this is maybe the first time she’s brought that up since it happened, and the boys probably weren’t expecting her bluntness.

Naruto’s the first to speak up. “Sakura, you know we’re not—”

“We’ll always be rivals,” Sasuke says over the rest of Naruto’s sentence, but his tone is strange, certain but not as demeaning as he usually is. Like he places some sort of special weight on the words.

“Whatever,” Sakura says back, not willing to try to untangle the knot that is their emotional lives right now. “Let’s get the hell out of this swamp.”

Sai is suspiciously quiet from above them, but then Sai has always treated the original Team 7 as a subject of study, kind of like they’re all zoo animals and Sai only speaks to them when he thinks it might produce a more entertaining reaction for his study.

Sakura just needs this mission to be over with. Then she can request to work full-time at the hospital and stop taking missions with these idiots, before they get her (and themselves) killed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some hand-wavy medical nonsense coming up. :)

“It will be our pleasure, Kurosawa-sama,” Sai says with a polite bow and an extremely fake smile. But Sakura suspects esteemed dignitary of the Land of Swamps Hideyoshi Kurosawa sees way more fake smiles than real ones, so she doubts he knows the difference anymore.

“For how much I’m paying you, it had better be,” Kurosawa says, his oversized nose tilted in the air as he waves a hand to dismiss them until the festival starts the next day. (He’s not actually paying them very much, considering this is only a C-ranked mission, but Sakura wouldn’t put it past the mission ranking committee to overcharge him simply because the moron had an inflated sense of self-importance. Sakura pastes a smile to her face and thinks about the look on his face if he knew he barely pulled a C-rank and could’ve had three 12-year-olds guarding him instead.)

At the very least, they’re put up in another inn with two connected rooms and four beds. The place uses enough air freshener to mostly drown out the stench of the swamp that drifts in from all directions (which is _too much_ air freshener), but they have their own shared bathroom and access to the full menu of meals provided by the inn.

“This is...not bad,” Sakura says in surprise when they walk in, and she steps farther in to explore the room. There are two simple beds with a table and a lamp on either side, the door to the bathroom on the opposite wall and leading to a mirror-image of the same room. There are windows on the far wall, overlooking the town and the swamp beyond. The whole place is decorated with dark browns and mossy greens, rather like a swamp (unfortunately, but fittingly.)

“Aww, yeah!” Naruto says, jumping onto the bed closest to the window. He’s clean this time, but there are also enough beds for all four of them, so he’s free to get his own bed as dirty and disgusting as he wants. “My own bed!”

Sakura rolls her eyes good-naturedly, but places her pack down on the other bed in the room, stretching her arms behind her back and letting out a breath.

“They are quite luxurious arrangements,” Sai says, looking around blankly. Considering most ninjas spent all their missions sleeping on the ground or the floor, even when they take missions in towns, these kind of accommodations are unheard of. They aren’t paying for the rooms like they had at the last town—they were provided as part of the price for the Swamp Lord (what a _lovely_ title) when he sent out the mission. Sakura doesn’t think Kurosawa _knows_ that ninjas aren’t usually housed at inns while they’re not actively working, but she thanks whoever accepted this mission at the mission desk that no one told him that.

They might even get to spend some time here, since they’re only guarding Kurosawa during the day. His mansion (a hideous thing in the center of town with gaudy flags and banners everywhere) is regularly well-staffed and well-guarded by ordinary civilian-soldiers, and he’s apparently confident enough in his hired help that he hasn’t requested their presence for his evenings. Sakura’s not sure she sees the sense in thinking he needs to hire ninjas to guard him during this festival. If anyone powerful enough to require their presence were after him, it’s not like they wouldn’t consider attacking him at night. And if he weren’t expecting anyone particularly powerful to come after him, why not just have his regular hired help guard him during the festival?

But it is not Sakura’s job to ask these questions, and she will gladly accept this farce of a mission if it means she gets paid to watch some country-bumpkin festival all day and then come back to a nice inn with a private bath and more amenities than she has in her apartment.

It’s putting up with Naruto and Sasuke that’s going to prove to be the real challenge. She at least mitigated part of it by having them in separate rooms, but it doesn’t help when they both decide they need to use the bathroom at the same time (after Sakura has already taken her turn, and is trying to peacefully sharpen her kunai before bed.)

She looks up when she hears muffled thumps that don’t sound normal for a boy using the bathroom, and she stops sharpening her kunai and sighs when the shouts filter though.

“You and your dumb girly routine! Who even has this many hair products with them on missions?”

“It’s not hair products, moron!”

“Well it’s not like your hair does that _naturally.”_

“Just get the hell out.”

“No, I was in here first.”

“So piss and get out.”

 _“You_ get out!”

“What? Afraid I’ll peek and see your small dick? Don’t worry, Sai filled me in—”

“You’re an _asshole,”_ Naruto says, and then there’s more scuffling sounds, followed by what sounds suspiciously like breaking glass.

Sakura places her kunai to her side on the bed and stands. She could willfully ignore their bickering until it petered out and they both realized they had separate rooms to go back to, but now they’re causing property damage, so Sakura needs to step in before they destroy their wonderful private bathroom when they’ve still got nearly three weeks in this awful town.

She yanks open the door—she’s got no idea if it was locked or not, but she doesn’t think a broken lock is going to be the worst of their damage charges—and Naruto and Sasuke are still grabbing at each other. There’s a spiderweb of cracks in the mirror to one side, where someone’s fist obviously landed. Sakura’s actually a little surprised there isn’t more damage—any of her punches probably would’ve shattered the entire mirror and the wall behind it.

“What,” she starts, her tone dangerous and low, and both boys stop trying to land hits on one another to look at her.

“He started it,” Naruto says quickly, and Sasuke uses his distraction to land a punch on the top of Naruto’s head, really more of a bump than anything. Naruto stumbles back, rubbing at his head and saying “Ow! Bastard!”

“You punched the mirror,” Sasuke shoots back.

“Yeah, ‘cause I was _trying_ to punch you!”

“It’s not my fault you have shitty aim.”

“You dodged!”

“No shit.”

“So it’s not my fault the mirror broke when _you’re_ the one who dodged and who stole the bathroom so you could put ten million things into your ugly-ass duck-butt hair—”

“I told you, they’re not hair products, you fucking—”

“Oh my gods, _who cares!”_ Sakura shouts over them, and she’s pretty sure they can both feel the chakra gathering in her fist. She doesn’t intend to use it, not when they’re in the bathroom, the one she doesn’t want to cause any more damage to, but she will hit either of them if provoked, bathroom be damned.

“This is the most ridiculous— You’re fighting over the bathroom! Like teenage girls! I’m the only fucking girl on this mission, and I’m telling you to get the fuck over it and _shut up.”_

There’s a beat while they both just kind of stare at her, and Naruto’s hand is still kind of holding on to Sasuke’s collar (how he’s supposed to punch Sasuke like that, Sakura doesn’t know.) Then Naruto says “But you’re a kunoichi, so that means you’re not _really_ a girl—”

Naruto gets a chakra-loaded fist to the gut, which sends him flying back into Sasuke, but she was light on the power so when they go crashing to the floor, they don’t even leave a dent.

“Use,” she says through gritted teeth, “the bathroom. And go. The fuck. To sleep.”

Naruto hisses in pain as he stumbles to his feet, his hand clutching at his stomach and rubbing at it. “Okay, but everyone’s gotta get out so I can pee.”

Sasuke gets to his feet behind Naruto, scowling, and says “Fine,” before turning to stomp out of the bathroom.

Sakura thinks _finally, they’re finished_ , but of course they aren’t, because they’re fucking children, and she’s somehow been shoved into the role of unwilling babysitter.

Naruto says, tauntingly, “Don’t forget your girly hair stuff,” and Sasuke forgoes leaving the bathroom to grab one of his bottles and chuck it at Naruto’s head.

“They’re not fucking hair products!”

Naruto manages to dodge the first bottle, and it goes clattering to the floor, rolling around somewhere behind the toilet. But Sasuke just grabs another one to chuck at him, and Naruto stops that one from hitting him square in the face by catching it, and he ignores Sasuke going for a third bottle by squinting at the label and trying to pronounce something scientific. “Amee-trip-tie-lie-ne,” Naruto sounds out with a frown on his face. “What’s that, some sort of fancy name for shampoo?”

Sasuke makes a grab for the bottle, ripping it out of Naruto’s hands and sweep-kicking Naruto to the floor in one fluid motion.

“You’re even stupider than you look,” Sasuke spits out, placing the bottle back on the counter with a plastic-y _thump,_ and starting toward Naruto again as he stumbles to his feet.

“You—”

“Sasuke,” Sakura says calmly, “What’s the Amitriptyline for?”

“Ami-what?” Naruto asks, confused. Sasuke stops his dive for Naruto, instead standing stock still and refusing to look at Sakura.

“Nothing,” he replies tersely.

“What’s Ami-try-li—”

“Amitriptyline is a topical pain relief medication.”

Naruto still looks puzzled.

“Topical means it goes on the skin, Naruto,” she explains, “and Amitriptyline is commonly prescribed for patients with—”

“Don’t,” Sasuke says.

“—neuropathic pain due to amputated limbs.”

“Oh,” says Naruto.

Sasuke shoots daggers at Sakura with his eyes, and his hand is clenched in a tight fist by his side.

Sakura just meets his eyes and raises her eyebrows expectantly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sasuke grits out, refusing to look away or even blink. As if she would be so juvenile as to try to settle this with a staring contest. (She’s not Naruto.)

“I’m a medic-nin, if you’re having phantom pain in your missing arm—”

“I’m not,” Sasuke snaps.

“Wait, how can it hurt if it’s not there anymore?” Naruto asks, not trying to be particularly mean but managing ignorant and offensive instead.

“Because not all of us have a demon fox to kiss our booboos better,” Sasuke growls, turning on Naruto with a glare so heated, Sakura half expects to see his eyes bleed red.

“What does Kurama have to do with—”

“At least let me examine it,” Sakura cuts in.

“No.”

“There might be something I can do—”

“You can’t.”

“Well, we won’t know that until I look at it, will we?” she says, pressing her lips together before she launches into her people-are-idiots-for-not-seeking-help-when-they-need-it speech, because she’s tried that on both these boys before and it’s never worked. But she’s going to force this issue. It’s her job as a medic and as Sasuke’s friend.

“Don’t bother,” Sasuke says, but he knows this is a losing battle, and the anger and stubbornness is already leeching from his voice.

“Hey, you know Sakura-chan is the best, maybe she can find something the other medics couldn’t,” Naruto says. He’s trying to be helpful, and it’s actually a little sweet. He’s watching Sasuke with open, unguarded eyes, and Sakura wonders how it is Naruto can pinball between emotions so quickly without making himself sick.

“There’s nothing to find.”

“Maybe not,” Sakura concedes, “but I didn’t drag you back from the brink of death to watch you spend the rest of your life punishing yourself over something you’ve already been forgiven for.”

That shuts them both up.

But Sakura doesn’t have time to delve into the complexities of that sentence, so she just sighs and grabs Sasuke around the arm—the one that isn’t giving him pain—and drags him into Naruto and Sakura’s room. She shoves him down to sit at the end of Naruto’s bed, since her own has half-sharp kunai all over it, and has him raise his left arm—what’s left of it—out so it’s level with his shoulder. She rolls the sleeve up so it’s bunched tight near his shoulder but not restricting blood flow, and then lets the familiar rush-buzz-tingle of healing chakra gather in her hands.

She starts with her eyes open, running up and down from shoulder to just above the elbow where it ends. She’d done a quick-fix at the Valley of the End, just something to stop the blood flow while they were in transit back to Konoha, but she had several opportunities afterward to work to reduce some of the scarring and frayed nerve endings, while they were both passed out and resting. Kurama had mostly healed over a lot of Naruto’s wounds before she could get to him, but Sasuke had been slower to recover. Apparently slower than she’d realized.

And boys can be so stubbornly stupid sometimes. It drives Sakura insane. If they would’ve just _come to her_ when they had a problem from the beginning, maybe she could’ve talked to them, or at least beaten some sense into their thick skulls. Or paralyze them before they went flying off to try to kill each other one last time.

All that bullshit about meeting fists and seeing into each other’s hearts. She wonders if anyone had ever bothered _talking_ before kunoichi came along. Probably not. Thus the wars.

There’s nothing wrong that she can see easily, at least not on the surface, so she presses her fingertips to his skin (he hisses slightly) and closes her eyes, running down his arm much more slowly, checking every chakra pathway and every nerve ending with care. It’s a kind of medical sight technique, almost like the sharingan or byakugan, except it doesn’t rely on her eyes so much as feeling the body through chakra alone. It’s incredibly precise, and probably not something she could’ve done even a month ago, but while the boys have been busy bickering their lives away, she’s been training as hard as ever.

“Um,” Naruto says nervously, and he’s been hovering since they started, flitting around and peering closer to Sasuke’s increasing aggravation, “Didn’t Tsunade-baa-chan say she was gonna have the prosthetics ready soon? Couldn’t you just—um, fix it then? The imaginary pain or whatever?”

“It’s not imaginary, it’s phantom. There’s a difference,” Sakura says, her voice almost trance-like as she keeps her mind focused on testing each of the hundreds of tiny pathways in Sasuke’s arm. “And Tsunade-shishou says it’s going to take a few more months.”

“Months?” Naruto whines, “Aww, man! How the heck am I supposed to go months without training?”

Sasuke snorts, and his shoulder jerks slightly with the movement. “You’re not an invalid. I’m perfectly capable of training like this.”

Naruto heaves a long-suffering sigh and says “Not that! I meant _really_ training, with a hundred or more shadow clones at the same time. It’s gonna take forever training the old fashioned way for so long.”

Sasuke seems like he didn’t realize Naruto had a new method of training, because he’s silent on the matter, probably chewing it over to work into some kind of insult later on.

“Almost done,” Sakura murmurs, and sends another tiny string of chakra running through his re-looped chakra pathways. Sasuke flinches a little, barely at all but enough that she notices, and she manages to pinpoint the exact location before her chakra moves away from it. It’s the barest thing—just a chakra line sitting a little too closely to a nerve ending, easily missed—but it would probably be causing at least some of the pain any time Sasuke’s chakra started moving faster than usual.

She twists up her face in concentration and moves her hands to focus over the one spot. It’s a quick procedure, relatively simple with medical-sight, but it’s going to hurt. Probably best not to tell him, though.

She counts to three in her head, and then her fingers give a small twist and flick, and her chakra snaps the two apart.

Sasuke blurts out “Fuck,” and his entire body jerks, but then he just clenches his teeth and holds unnaturally still while the pain fades.

“There,” she says. “It was just a misaligned chakra pathway, incredibly small and easy to miss. That should ease some of the pain, but the rest is probably psychological and not something I can help with. Although I can recommend—”

“No thanks,” Sasuke says flatly, pulling his left arm back, away from her prying hands. She simply shrugs it off. Sasuke doesn’t have to seek psychological help if he doesn’t want to, no matter how much he obviously needs it. At least his arm is a problem that’s going to largely solve itself (thanks to Tsunade’s medical magic) in a few months.

Naruto pokes Sasuke in the shoulder (his right, so Sasuke can’t say he’s intentionally trying to hurt him or something) and says “Hey, bastard. What did I tell you? Sakura-chan is the best.”

“Hn,” is his response, but Sakura has learned an entire dictionary of Sasuke’s non-verbal responses, and she knows this one means ‘thank you’ and also possibly ‘you were right’.

Sakura just huffs in satisfaction and says “Good. Now both of you can shut the hell up and let me sleep.” She walks back over to her bed, sweeping her still half-sharpened kunai into the pouch and setting it aside for later. (If she actually winds up needing sharp kunai to guard this dignitary tomorrow, she’ll eat her weapons pouch.) Then she crawls into bed and snaps off the lights, and listens to Naruto shove at Sasuke and whisper “You’re on my bed, jackass! Move.”

“Shut up, it’s dark—”

“You have the sharingan! Now who’s the fucking moron, moro—ow! Don’t whack me with your stupid stump! Mine’s longer than yours anyway—”

“That’s not what Sai tells me.”

“God _damn it!”_

Sakura presses a pillow over her head. See if she ever does anything nice for either of them ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

She learns that Swamp Festivals require an inordinate amount of flowers. She’s not sure _why,_ because Sakura just spent two days traipsing through swamps and she never saw a single flower. It certainly never smelled like flowers in that swamp. But she’ll allow people to lie to themselves as much as they want so long as it doesn’t affect her, so she just stands guard next to Kurosawa and attempts to look like she actually has to try hard to sense any approaching threats.

“Your Swampiness, you’re looking quite swampy today, may I offer you some swamp mud from the finest pig-sty in all of Swampville, we—”

Naruto’s little aside is cut short when one of Sai’s ink snakes wraps itself around his head, right over his mouth. His angry shouts are muffled by the snake, which just constricts tighter. Sakura very nearly laughs out loud.

Kurosawa is sitting up on some throne thing right in the middle of town square and there are dozens of people bringing flowers for his inspection. Sakura is a little amazed at how many people seem to give a shit what he has to say, but she supposes there are stranger things to want than lordship over the worst-smelling patch of land this side of the ocean. Orochimaru wanted to inhabit Sasuke’s body and turn it into a giant white snake with the sharingan, and that was arguably weirder than this festival.

She and the rest of Team 7 are bored out of their skulls, because this is the third hour of this flower procession, and the afternoon sun is starting to make the swamp smell that much worse. (The people who live here must all be used to it, because none of them seem to notice, or stop breathing through their noses like she has.)

Sasuke is managing to suffer through in tight-lipped silence, but she’ll be surprised if there’s any blood left in his lips by the end of this to actually allow him to talk ever again. Sai is composed and emotionless, but he’s also drawing ink animals to run off in various directions and accomplish pointless tasks that Sakura is fairly sure are unrelated to the mission.

Naruto has been running his mouth as usual, trying to see how long and how loud he can go before Kurosawa actually hears him, standing five feet behind his throne.

Sakura has been relatively busy trying not to throw up in her mouth at the stench. She’s beginning to understand the private bathroom now. She’s going to burn these clothes at the end of this mission. She’s going to burn them before she even makes it back to Konoha, just to make sure none of the smell follows her home. Her hair is a lost cause. No amount of fancy shampoo from Ino’s house could get this stink out. Maybe she could rock a pink-fuzz buzz cut for a while.

“No, the coloration is wrong. It should be the opposite. Blue spots on black flowers.”

“But my lord, the flowers don’t grow with that—”

“Proceed to the next one!”

Sakura tries to give the young girl holding a beautiful black-spots-on-blue-flowers bouquet a kind smile, but she thinks it might look like more of a grimace, and the girl bursts into tears and runs off. (Kurosawa is currently fighting for the title of ‘Worst Client Ever’ in Sakura’s head, and he’s held a steady lead since the elderly couple with the “too cheerful” daisies.)

“Wow, the Swamp Lord is a bigger bastard than you, Sasuke,” Naruto says, finally free from his snake bonds.

Sasuke sends a playful wave of killing intent in Naruto’s direction (since when did Sakura start thinking of ‘killing intent’ as _playful?_ ) but silently, Sakura agrees.

It only takes three days of the festival before Kurosawa questions their abilities as ninjas. Sakura is well-used to being faced with underhanded insults about her competency, as are all kunoichi at some point in their careers. The boys, as boys, are not.

Kurosawa stares balefully at the ninjas Konoha has seen fit to guard him, his oversized mustache twitching on his round face as he says “Is this the best the great shinobi village of Konoha can manage?”

Naruto very nearly attacks their client for his slight against Konoha, but Sai throws an arm to squeeze around Naruto’s neck tightly and he asks “Excuse me?” His voice is high-pitched and polite, and he’s got his fake smile out in spades. “Are you displeased with our service?”

Kurosawa flicks his head toward them, not even bothering to spare any of them a look when he says “Two amputees, a little girl, and one of those funny boys? The most pathetic showing I’ve ever seen.”

She can feel three pairs of eyes look to her, probably expecting some sort of violence at the ‘little girl’ comment, but Sakura was trained as a kunoichi at the same time she was trained as a ninja, so she knows when to smile and play along.

“I assure you,” she says brightly, her voice up a pitch, lilting and flowery like Ino had taught her, “We may not look it, but we are the strongest team in all of Konoha.”

It’s not even a lie, is the thing, although Kurosawa clearly thinks she’s exaggerating something fierce, because he snorts and waves a hand in dismissal. “Fine, fine. If I come to any harm, I’ll be asking Konoha for your heads.”

“Of course,” she agrees lightly, “Be assured, we will guard you with our lives.” She gives a small bow and grabs both Naruto and Sasuke to drag them away from their portly client, Sai following behind wordlessly. Naruto is whining under his breath that he’s going to have bruises from Sakura’s grip, so she loosens it slightly but keeps on dragging them back to the inn.

She keeps going until they’re all back in the room, with the door shut and locked behind them, before she releases her grip. Naruto is still behind her, and he starts to say “Wow, Sakura-chan, you were—”

“What kind of arrogant, rude, self-important _prick_ who owns a bunch of _swamps_ calls this team ‘pathetic’?” Sakura says, and she barely manages to keep her fists in place by her sides. She is _not_ going to destroy their room. “Little girl? _Little girl?_ I’ll send him and his _little dick_ flying straight out of the Land of Swamps and into the Land of Shit where he belongs!”

“Wow,” Naruto says in a half-whisper. She whirls around, still raging, and Naruto flinches back and puts his hand up. Sasuke is standing very, very still. But she’s not angry at them (at least, not in this particular moment,) so she takes a couple gulps of air and calms down, the chakra draining from her fists before she accidentally creates a new window in their room.

“I am surprised he thought my words or actions amusing,” Sai comments, with a slightly pondering expression (which is maybe a step above the ‘emotionless robot’ face Sasuke likes to effect.)

“Huh?” Naruto says.

Sakura covers her eyes with her hand and lets out a laugh. She doesn’t bother correcting Sai, since he would probably just agree with Kurosawa’s assessment and then Naruto would start saying ridiculous things to Sasuke about protecting his innocence during the night.

Although that would probably prove extremely entertaining for her. She’s just not sure it’s worth the property damage.

They agree to go out for dinner, to see what the Land of Swamps has to offer, and as they walk down the main street alive with new arrivals for the festival, Sakura has to admit that this part of the mission, at least, is extremely enjoyable. It’s a little like a vacation, and if it were anywhere but the Land of Swamps, Sakura would wonder if Tsunade weren’t trying to give them some time to rest, as a ‘thank you’ for their service during the war.

But it’s still in Land of Swamps, and it’s still a mission to guard an awful dignitary, and she’s still stuck with these three morons for the foreseeable future, so if it were meant to be some sort of vacation, Tsunade really has gone senile in her old age.

They find a BBQ restaurant, where the scent of cooked meats manages to mostly overwhelm the stench of swamp, so they find the most defensible table in the place and sit down to have a nice meal as a team. It’s been clear since they arrived that Land of Swamps does not attract very many ninjas, even with the bicentennial Swamp Festival of Splendor or whatever silly name they call it. They’ve met one, maybe two people with any sort of chakra development. One was Kurosawa’s guard, who probably came by his slightly-above-civilian-level chakra on accident through his lifetime guarding the pompous asshole who rules this place. The other was a street performer with a hint of _katon_ to help his fire breathing routine, but beyond that everyone has pinged as entirely civilian.

She wouldn’t say they’re getting complacent, because they’re still ninjas and they’ll always be on guard, but they have relaxed a bit. None of them are expecting this to turn out like the mission to the Land of Waves had, and even if it were to turn out like that, Sakura is entirely confident they could take care of it without even breaking a sweat. She’s not one for ego, but she does mean it when she says this team is the strongest team in all of Konoha. They might even be the strongest team in the world, although if the five kages decided to form a team again, they might have a little trouble.

“Ne, do you think we’re weaker shinobi without our arms?” Naruto asks, pouting around bites of barbecue and frowning in thought.

Sasuke huffs out a breath, annoyed. “I’m not the one who banked my entire career on shadow clones.”

“Hey!” Naruto says, “I can do stuff without shadow clones. I’ve got rasengan and KCM and sage mode—”

“I’m sure orange eyeshadow makes a great difference in battle.”

_“What—”_

“No fighting in public,” Sakura says, bored, while she turns some of the meat over on the grill to cook the other side.

Naruto leans back and points his chopsticks at Sasuke across the table. “At least I’m not a two-shot pony. Chidori isn’t even your move. Kaka-sensei made it.”

“The Fourth made rasengan.”

“I made rasenshuriken!”

“What’s that you said about two-shot ponies?”

“Bastard! My rasenshuriken could beat you chidori senbon any d—”

“I think,” Sakura cuts in, annoyed at having been ignored the first time she told them to shut the hell up, “You’ve both already proven you’re equally matched.” _Too_ equally matched, actually. It would have solved a lot of problems if one of them had simply killed the other.

As proof of her point, one of Naruto’s chopsticks falls from his hand, the piece of meat tumbling down and plopping into Naruto’s drink. He flushes and uses his remaining chopstick to fish the strip out of his drink, mumbling in annoyance. He’s still learning to use chopsticks well with his non-dominant hand. He’s already had to spear everything onto one like a kabob three times tonight.

Sasuke is the same, although he’s more discreet about letting it show. It’s actually a little amusing to watch—they’re perfectly capable of throwing shuriken but _chopsticks_ cause their downfall—but Sakura has to remind herself not to tease them about the fact that they’re struggling to adjust to their new lifestyle. Even if they were stupid enough to do it to each other in the first place.

They manage a couple of minutes of blissful silence before Sasuke says, just under his breath, “Too bad you can’t make shadow clones to help feed yourself.”

And then they just launch into another round of mine-is-bigger-than-yours and Sakura uses their distraction to swipe the rest of the meat from the grill, letting Sai get a couple for himself. The boys are hopeless. If her underneath-the-underneath mission is to get them to get along, she’s going to fail a C-rank mission. (Although she would argue that getting Sasuke and Naruto to get along is closer to an A-rank, or maybe even an S-rank.)

 

* * *

 

Naruto is smiling and waving and blowing kisses to the crowd for three full minutes before Sasuke cuffs him in the back of the head and tells him to stop.

Naruto rubs at his head and shoots a glare at Sasuke. “What the hell, bastard?”

“You’re making a scene,” Sasuke grits out.

“So? This is exciting. I’ve never been in a parade before!”

“You’re not in a parade _now,”_ Sasuke says. Naruto looks around at the massive crowd, and the fact that they’re on a parade float, and there’s confetti everywhere, and then he just turns back to Sasuke and asks “Are you blind?”

Sakura can hear Sasuke’s teeth grinding over the shouting of the crowd. “You’re supposed to be window dressing, start acting like it.”

Naruto just sticks out his tongue and blows a raspberry at him.

Sakura is legitimately surprised the entire float doesn’t burst into flame right then. As it is, Sasuke’s anger is so powerful that even Kurosawa picks up on it, and he stops glaring out at the crowd unappreciatively to glare back at them unappreciatively instead.

Sakura just offers him a benign smile and waits until he turns back around to hit both Sasuke and Naruto in the back of the head. (She is going to use and abuse this two-armed advantage she has over them for as long as possible.)

“Sakura-channnn,” Naruto whines, rubbing at his head where she hit him.

“Stop making a scene,” she says. They’re professionals, and they’re on the job, so they should act like it and represent Konoha. Even if this mission is a complete joke.

“But _why?”_ Naruto continues, like she hadn’t just told him to stop. “It’s not like this is a real mission—”

“Yes it is,” she snaps, “C-ranks are just as important as B-ranks, or D-ranks, or A-ranks, or—”

“All missions are created equal, blah blah blah,” Naruto cuts in, “I know all this, Sakura-chan! They teach you this dumb stuff at the academy.”

“Like you paid attention in the academy,” Sasuke says.

Naruto whacks at him and misses.

“But we’re not C-rank shinobi!” Naruto argues.

“No, we’re not,” Sakura says, and Naruto’s eyes go a little wide as he realizes Sakura is agreeing with him so easily. Usually she likes to bring up the fact that he’s still, technically, a genin. But she’s feeling magnanimous today. To an extent, anyway. “But regardless of our ranks, this is the mission we’ve been assigned, so we should complete it to the best of our abilities. Otherwise _you’ll_ get to be the one to explain to Tsunade-shishou how a team of four of the most powerful shinobi managed to fail a C-rank mission.”

That seems to mollify him, though Sakura’s not sure how long that’ll last. At least until tomorrow, if they’re lucky. At some point Naruto is going to reason that because they’re so powerful, they don’t need to be on guard to know when a threat is imminent and dispatch it.

Granted, it’s unlikely there will be any threats. Sakura can’t imagine the benefits of killing a Swamp Lord, besides ridding the world of one awful human being. But outside of this festival, it kind of just seems like he sits around in his mansion all day, letting the swamp-dwellers go about their swampy lives. She doubts he’s made any enemies—or any friends, but that’s not her concern.

Sakura mostly just wants Naruto to stop making them look foolish and inexperienced. They might as well be a genin team, with the way he’s acting. Though she’s not surprised. It’s Naruto, after all.

For a brief moment she thinks she’s going to be eating her words—or thoughts, as it were—when a man comes rushing up to their float, making grabbing motions and aiming for Kurosawa’s feet. Sai is there in a flash though, keeping the man back and tossing him from the float only to land next to him down on the ground and capture him.

The guy doesn’t have an ounce of chakra development, though, so Sakura just shares a nod with Sai who stays back as the parade progresses onward to question their subject.

Three minutes later Sai returns, leaping seamlessly into position with the rest of them.

“Anything?” Sakura asks.

“I do not believe so. He was extremely drunk. The Esteemed Lord of Swamps apparently resembles his deceased uncle quite a bit.”

Sakura huffs. “Figures,” she mutters under her breath.

Naruto actually seems downtrodden by the news that the first ounce of excitement they’ve had on this mission turned out to be a drunk civilian instead of a legitimate threat. But Sakura’s always figured that a boring mission is a good mission, and if this mission weren’t in the Land of Swamps she would be a lot happier about the lack of distractions herself.

The parade is just as boring as the festival, and the festival is as boring as the swamps themselves. If Sakura weren’t so rigorously trained, she would’ve fallen asleep upward of ten times by now. (Naruto actually did, but that was after Sasuke hit him so hard he passed out for a bit. They were lucky the Swamp Lord didn’t bother looking at them.)

She honestly hadn’t thought they’d need to watch their own backs when they were done with the job for the day, shoving the king back in his castle and trudging back to their hotel. Or when they were in their rooms, away from the public eye, entirely at ease because it’s the god damn Land of Swamps, where _no one goes._

Yes, they’ve gotten a little complacent. Because this place really was as boring and bumfuck as it seems, and because this mission is a C-rank. But that’s really no excuse for the way they’re almost entirely unprepared for the ambush that comes.

Two ninjas crash in through the window in Sasuke and Sai’s room with smoke bombs at the ready.

Sakura and Naruto hear the crash just as they’re about to settle down for a quiet night, and then they’re through the connecting doors and barreling into the smoky room before they’ve even thought it through. There’s almost no visibility, the smoke still releasing from the bombs and clouding everything, but then there’s a burst of chakra from one corner—no, was it another?—and she covers her mouth and tries to squint through the haze to see who’s an attacker and who’s a comrade, now that even Naruto’s pulled away from her.

Of course, caught off-guard or not, they’re still the most powerful ninjas in pretty much the entire world. So Sakura hasn’t even made her move before hundreds of Sai’s ink birds fill the room and beat their wings at the smoke until it starts to dissipate out the window.

By the time it clears enough for her to see, Naruto and Sasuke are standing near the center of the room, Sasuke looking bored and Naruto looking giddy, each of them holding an unconscious—or dead?—body by the hair. They turn to each other, and first Naruto grins, then scowls when he realizes Sasuke has one too, then juts his chin out and says “Mine was totally stronger than yours.”

“In your dreams, loser.”

Before this latest banter can escalate into another massive battle, Sakura steps forward and leans down close to the limp guy held up by Sasuke’s hand.

Their forehead protectors are different, which is why she didn’t recognize them right away, but then the Southern continent is an entirely different breed of ninjas, and that’s where these guys are from. According to the hidden village symbols, anyway. Other than that, they’re dressed in pretty typical ninja attire. Dark colors, quiet fabric, weaponry and scrolls, though nothing that would indicate bloodline talents.

Run-of-the-mill ninjas, maybe mid-to-high chunin level, operating on minimal intelligence with second-rate weapons, and going in with almost no preparation.

In other words, amateurs.

She huffs and straightens up, putting her hands on her hips and trying to decide what to do with these two morons. And her other two morons, as well.

Then she remembers the perks of being Ino’s best friend-and-rival, and grins, sharp-toothed. She can hear Naruto gulp.

“Tie them up,” she says darkly. If they’re worth half their salt as ninjas, the binds won’t stop them for very long, but she’s mostly counting on the sheer intimidation factor to keep them still and compliant. After all, they were both unconscious before Sakura had even entered the room, and Naruto and Sasuke hadn’t needed anything but one-armed taijutsu to knock them out.

She cracks her knuckles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumors of their strength have been greatly exaggerated, but this is from Sakura's POV and she chooses to believe the rumors, so that's my justification. (:
> 
> .

Sai sends out an array of mice to keep watch around their hotel room and then stands quietly in the corner, fake smile in place. Sakura had watched in amusement as Naruto and Sasuke struggled to tie up their would-be attackers with only one arm each, but it had proved an exercise in cooperation, and they did alright. Waking them up had been the hard part, but then she’s nothing if not endlessly patient.

She’d have to be, on this team.

When the first one does wake up, though, it’s incredibly satisfying to watch him work at his restraints, look up when Sakura clears her throat, and then completely freeze when she says “Oh, I wouldn’t do that.”

To be fair, he goes right back to struggling a moment later, yelling “What the hell, bitch!” and “Wake up, Satou! Damn it.”

She ignores his pathetic attempts to get loose and smiles when she asks “Do you have any idea whose hotel room you just broke into?”

Apparently, it’s an interesting enough question to have him momentarily abandon the escape-making, looking up at her with open contempt. “Konoha shinobi,” he answers simply.

Sakura grins wider. “Yes, very good. But do you know _which_ Konoha shinobi?”

The guy’s eyes dart around, first landing on Sai in the corner, smiling in that entirely disturbing way, and then finding Naruto and Sasuke as they step forward, behind Sakura, scared enough of her that they don’t dare approach any closer.

He just raises his eyebrows. “A couple amputees, a girl, and—” his eyes slant back over to Sai, nervously, “whatever the hell that is.”

Sakura twitches at hearing the same descriptions for her team that their _dear_ employer had used, but then she’s not paid to put up with this idiot like she is with the Swamp Lord.

“My name,” she says cooly, “is Haruno Sakura. _That,”_ she tilts her head toward Sai, “Is Sai, and my two limbless companions here,” she steps back to throw her arms around their necks, which has Naruto tensing and shaking in fear, and Sasuke pulling away as if she has cooties, “Are Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. You may remember us as the shinobi who saved the world not too long ago.”

He looks quickly between Sasuke and Naruto and then back to her, like there’s a ping pong match going on before his eyes. “You’re—” his voice cracks, and it is _so_ satsifying, “You’re _those_ Konoha shinobi?”

“In the flesh.”

_“Shit.”_

Sakura barely stops herself from bursting into laughter.

Just then, his companion—Satou, was it?—starts to stir awake, pulling at his restraints as he does so. Immediately, the first guy is shouting at him to stop trying to get out, just open his eyes and look, because they’re screwed. At least he can appreciate his circumstances.

“What the hell, Kokusai?” Satou says, giving them another name to complete the set. “How did these assholes—”

“Shut up!” Kokusai hisses, “It’s Uzumaki and Uchiha and that pink-haired chick!”

Sakura finally slides her arms away from two relieved boys and stomps forward, leaning close to Kokusai and grinning broadly. “It’s _Haruno._ HA-RU-NO.”

“Haruno....” Satou says, trying to remember the same as his friend had, “Haruno and Uzumaki and Uchiha.... Wait, _those_ Konoha shinobi?”

_“Yes.”_

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, and they—”

“Why the hell were we sent to capture _them?”_ Satou shouts, “They’re so far out of our league it’s impossible to even—”

Kokusai tries to shush him, but it’s already too late. They must be more inexperienced than Sakura thought, if they’re stupid enough to give up their names and their purpose without even being asked.

“Tell me,” Sakura says conversationally, starting a slow pace in front of their captives. “Why would anyone from the Southern continent assign two _idiots_ to capture four of the most powerful shinobi in the world?”

They both bite their tongues, realizing this is an interrogation and they’ve been trained better, but Sakura is still sending out bursts of killing intent.

“I haven’t decided if I want to kill you yet,” she says lightly, “I think maybe, if you’re _very_ helpful, I might leave you with some of your limbs intact.”

Kokusai stays silent and starts to shake, but Satou cracks like an egg on pavement.

“There’s a bounty!”

“Satou, shut _up—”_

“For any Konoha ninja captured and brought back to our village for interrogation.”

“Why?” Sakura asks darkly.

Satou blinks stupidly like he doesn’t understand the question.

“Is your village planning to attack Konoha?” Sakura asks. She doesn’t know much about their village—Negakure, if Sakura recalls the symbol on their forehead protectors correctly. It’s in one of the warring Southern lands that have recently been pushing farther North for gods-know-what, but if they want information on Konoha, it’s probably so they can get an upper hand in the war. Maybe by conquering Konoha and enlisting its ninjas, which is a shit plan, but the kind of plan Sakura would expect from a nation too busy dying to progress past an Academy student’s intelligence.

Neither of them answer, which ticks her off, so she steps back, lifts her chin, and says “Fine. Boys?”

With a snap of her fingers, Naruto and Sasuke step forward like they’re her trained guard dogs.

Suddenly faced with chidori and rasengan, their attackers aren’t so brave.

“Yes!” Kokusai pants. His eyes dart nervously between the boys’ hands until their jutsus fade. “Our village heard about the civil unrest in Konoha and wants to stage an attack, but they needed information. Our village is small. If we don’t find a bigger village to back us up, we’ll be destroyed by the war.”

Sakura restrains herself from saying that’s not her problem, but she wants to. The five Elemental Nations had their own war to deal with, which is why they never became involved with the war in the South. But now they’ve found a fragile peace and Sakura doesn’t plan to live to see another war in Konoha. She has no sympathy left for this village.

“You attacked us because we’re Konoha shinobi? You didn’t know who we are?”

Satou actually snorts out a laugh, then looks horrified and ducks his head in shame.

“No,” Kokusai says firmly. “If we had, we wouldn’t’ve...”

“Well, your information is wrong,” Sakura snaps. “There is no civil unrest in Konoha. We’re in a time of peace, we’re stronger than we’ve ever been, and we will destroy you. You take _that_ information back to your puny village and let them decide if they still want to attack.”

Kokusai mostly looks relieved that he’ll be alive to take information back to his village at all, and Sakura admits it was stupid of her to admit that. But someone needs to be the messenger and hopefully stop an attack before it happens. These guys aren’t threats, at least to them, so they might as well act as hawks.

Sakura narrows her eyes and looks between both of them. “Though I suppose there only needs to be one of you...”

Ah, there’s the fear come back. Can’t have them thinking she’s merciful.

“Eh, Sakura-chan,” Naruto says, even though Sakura _specifically told him_ she would do all the talking until they were through. “What if one of ‘em dies on the way back?”

“Why would they—”

“That’s a good point,” Sai says from the corner, and Sakura glares at him.

“Kill them both,” offers Sasuke.

When the hell had this become an open floor?

“No,” she says, cracking her knuckles slowly. “We’ll send them both back, but they don’t need to be _whole.”_

She approaches their two captives, who start struggling against their bonds again. Honestly, if they aren’t even trained enough to get out of restraints, they’re not worthy to be ninjas. Negakure’s standards must be incredibly low. It’s no wonder they’re losing the war.

Sasuke hums thoughtfully from somewhere behind her, which is odd enough that she freezes and turns to look back at him, furious.

“Sai,” Sasuke says shortly, “Can you perform that seal we discussed?”

“Seal?” Naruto perks up. “What seal?”

“Yes, I can,” Sai says brightly, and then takes out his paintbrush and descends on their two captives. It’s only because Sakura trusts them all enough that she doesn’t stop them.

Sai takes his paintbrush to their foreheads, flashing a bit of chakra into the ink to make it stick, and when he pulls back, both of them are sporting seals similar to the one on Sai’s tongue. Sakura frowns inwardly.

“Good,” Sasuke says, “Those seals give you three days to relay the information to your village.”

“Three days?!”

“Hold on, that isn’t enough—”

“If you want to live, I suggest you leave now,” continues Sasuke. Then he nods at Sai, who has his ink mice flood the room and chew through the ties binding them to their chairs. At first, they don’t move, but then Sasuke tilts his head, grins, and says “Unless you want to do it on broken legs.”

Then they’re bolting out the window they came in, not quite a flash step but faster than Sakura’s seen most ninjas their rank move. When they’re well and truly gone, she turns to Sasuke.

“That seal’s not real, is it?”

Sasuke just raises his eyebrows, shoves his hand in his pocket, and shrugs.

“Not real?” cries Naruto, “What do you mean it’s not real? It’s awesome! Do it again.”

“No.”

“But Sasuke—”

“I didn’t do it the first time, idiot!”

“Eh? But you knew about it so—”

“You’re the seal expert. Shut up and figure it out yourself.”

“But you can help me! C’mon, bastard—”

Sakura throws her hands up in defeat and stomps into the other room. While they’re fighting she’ll be doing something useful, like setting up protection traps and warning systems. They can’t afford to be this careless again.

 

* * *

 

They sleep in shifts that night, which they really should’ve been doing all along. It was lucky the ninjas who attacked them were so incompetent, because if skilled ninjas had done the same, they could’ve severely injured any of them. Or killed someone.

They’ve all clustered in the one bedroom for defense, and since the other still smells like smoke. Sasuke had tried to take first watch, but when he does that it usually means he plans to stay up the entire night brooding, so he was shut down immediately, and Sai takes it instead. He wakes her around midnight and then drops into a deep, too-still sleep in a chair in the corner before she’s so much as settled herself in the windowsill. The moon is almost full, shining down on the swamps like they’re something to look at, and Sakura contents herself to a long few hours of boredom.

Most people aren’t stupid enough to try to attack them anymore, but they’re far enough away from Konoha and the five Elemental Nations that it’s possible people simply don’t recognize them. She thinks that’s ridiculous, seeing as she has pink hair, Sai wears girl clothes, Sasuke wears his family crest, and Naruto wears a damn orange jumpsuit. Separate, they’re unfit for undercover without several layers of transformations and concealments, but together they’re a giant, glowing target.

A target most people aren’t stupid enough to try to hit.

She doesn’t understand why Negakure seemed to think Konoha was weak. Civil unrest? Did they mean the war? Pain’s invasion? Because it’s been a long time since then, and she’d thought they would’ve had more recent information than that.

Either way, those two ninjas served as a nice reminder that they should be more careful while on mission, and didn’t even put them out of work. Though at this point, she’d prefer to be fired if only so she wouldn’t have to deal with the Swamp Lord again.

She snaps her gaze to the nearest bed just as Naruto is sitting bolt upright with a gasp, scrambling to grab the sheets while he shifts to wakefulness. His eyes open and his head immediately turns until he’s looking at Sasuke in the other bed, back turned toward them but hair easily recognizable in the moonlight. Sakura watches as Naruto’s fingers slowly loosen their grip and his breathing starts to slow.

They all have nightmares. More so after the war, but still plenty before. It’s a fact of life for ninjas, and it’s not surprising in the least to see Naruto wake from one.

What’s she’s not expecting is the way he reaches out, almost like he’s not aware he’s doing it, and he makes an aborted grabbing motion in Sasuke’s direction, his hand reaching and then grasping and closing around open air before pulling back, short of actually reaching the other bed or the figure sleeping in it.

“Naruto?” She asks, before she can think better of it, and Naruto jumps a little in surprise and pulls his hand entirely back to his side as he turns to face her.

He squints a little—she’s probably silhouetted by the moonlight, which is extremely bright tonight—and asks “Sakura-chan?” Almost like he’d forgotten she was there.

“Naruto, what—” she starts.

“Ah, sorry, sorry!” Naruto says just above a whisper, rubbing at the back of his head and grinning over at her with his eyes closed in a bashful squint. “Just a bad dream.”

She nearly lets him go, but there’s an itch in her mind, and it’s like the image of Naruto reaching out to grab at the air between him and Sasuke is somehow burned into her brain now. “But why did you—?” she says, glancing over at Sasuke in the far bed. Naruto’s eyes follow her gaze there. Sasuke still appears to be asleep, although that should’ve woken him up, as their conversation should’ve as well. But maybe he’s really started relaxing around the two of them, because even his breathing pattern suggests he’s still asleep.

“Oh,” Naruto says, quieter than before, and he ducks his head to stare down at his lap. “Sometimes I have these dreams where, um... but then I wake up and I can’t remember if he’s really—” Naruto cuts himself off sharply, stealing another glance over at Sasuke, and if Sakura didn’t already know who he was talking about, she would now. “So I check, sometimes, if I can. Just to make sure. I know it’s dumb or whatever, but I’ll just wake up terrified that he’s—”

“Me too,” Sakura says softly, before Naruto can say anything else. Naruto pauses and looks up at her, and his hair looks strangely pale in the moonlight, almost white. His eyes are still brilliant blue though, familiar as the whisker-marks on his cheeks, and after so many years she’s started to find comfort in just seeing them.

“Eh?” Naruto says, “I didn’t think you—But I guess it makes even more sense than me, huh? Since you guys are—er, were—were always—because it’s different,” he stumbles, “for you. It’s different.” Naruto looks back down again, at the sheets bunched in his lap, and his hand is gripping-and-releasing in a quick pattern next to his thigh.

“Sorry,” he says after a minute, and his voice is suddenly distant, “I’m gonna try to get some more sleep.” Then he lies down again, turning on his side so his back is to Sakura (and his face is to Sasuke) as he keeps on breathing too quickly to be asleep.

Sakura eventually looks back out the window, up at the moon, and thinks it’s actually not different for her at all. She thinks it’s exactly the same.

She just doesn’t know what that means.


	5. Chapter 5

In a minor miracle, the Swamp Lord decided to retire early today, which meant he relieved them of duty early today, and now they’re enjoying a casual late afternoon in the Land of Swamps, as far away from the noisy, smelly festivities as they can get. They’re still on edge from the attack yesterday, so Sai has a couple of ink animals prowling the area, and they naturally assume defensive positions when they sit down for a bit.

Naruto is busy stuffing his face with something he got from one of the food stands, and Sasuke, who would normally be scowling and making rude comments about Naruto’s lack of manners, is strangely quiet.

She gives it until after Naruto has finished eating, watching while Sasuke still stares at empty air like he’s all by himself, and then she tenses herself and asks, quiet but forceful, “What is it, Sasuke?”

Naruto and Sai both snap their heads up at the tone, and Sasuke gives Sakura a measured look, like he’s trying to decide if she’s serious enough to answer. She tries to make it clear from just her expression that she will cause him pain if he doesn’t cooperate, and either he understands or he just wants to tell them after all, because he gives an almost imperceptible nod.

“The mission is not to guard the Swamp Lord.”

What?

“What’re you talking about, bastard?” asks Naruto brazenly. Sasuke shoots him a brief glare, but taps his fingers against his knee and gazes at the ground a moment later.

“Why would the Hokage reunite Team 7, despite the discrepancies with our ranks, only to send us on a C-rank to the Land of Swamps?”

“Eh?”

“It did seem out of the blue...” Sakura murmurs.

“I doubt she’s preparing us to take on larger missions as a team in the future,” Sasuke continues. “With my status as a traitor, they’d want to keep me close to Konoha.” Naruto looks ready to start a fight with Sasuke about the whole ‘traitor’ thing, but now is not the time, so Sakura glares until he closes his stupid mouth.

“You’re based mainly out of the hospital now, Sakura, so sending you as a medic on a protection detail to a C-rank in a peaceful land is counterproductive to your talents.”

Sakura nods, agreeing. She likes field missions, but she’d been hoping to use peacetime to develop her medical jutsus and expand the hospital to accommodate their growing needs as the unrest in the South and the West starts to creep in. Sending her on field missions just isn’t practical.

“Then we have Naruto, who might as well be the Hokage’s pet for the next few years—”

“Hey!”

“And Sai, who is currently an ANBU and has no business taking a C-rank mission with regular shinobi.”

Sakura startles, because she hadn’t known Sai was in ANBU, but one look in his direction confirms it: he’s pasted that fake smile onto his face and is staring at Sasuke like he’s deciding if he needs to kill him for saying as much.

“My point is, this mission doesn’t make any sense as it stands,” says Sasuke. “Which means the real mission is something else, and something none of us—presumably—have been told. Seeing as it’s usually imperative for a shinobi to know their mission in order to successfully complete it, that means the mission involves our participation and not our knowledge or skill set.”

All of this makes sense, but that doesn’t explain what the mission actually is.

“I don’t get it,” says Naruto.

Sasuke sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose briefly before resuming the tapping against his knee. “Think about what the shinobi from Negakure said. Konoha in a period of civil unrest.”

“But they were wrong. Pain’s invasion was over a year ago, and things have been fine since then,” Sakura reasons, already biting at her lip; a bad nervous habit.

“A lot can change in a few weeks.”

“What are you saying?”

“The mission was to get us out of Konoha before the Hokage made her move.”

Made her move? What is this? Why would they need to leave, and what moves could Tsunade possibly be making?

“Liar!” Naruto shouts, and Sasuke finally lifts his head to scowl at him. “Baa-chan would never do something to endanger Konoha! Or the peace treaty!”

Sasuke releases a breath all at once and snaps “Did I say that’s what the old hag is doing?”

“But you—”

“Have you paid any attention at all to what’s been happening politically since the end of the war?”

Naruto obviously hadn’t, and even if he had, she doubts he would’ve caught on, since the entirety of it is subtle. But Sakura has always been adept at picking up on the undertones and subtleties, and she _had_ noticed a lot of tension.

Of course, she hadn’t thought anything of it at the time. Konoha had been relatively stable, cleaning up after the war and still in the reconstruction phase. And with the peace treaty holding steady after the one-year anniversary and a Sixth Hokage already lined up, she couldn’t see any reason for all the tension.

Well, besides the council. Those two old fossils had survived the war only to come back to Konoha, kicking up a fuss about everything they could. But Tsunade had been handling them. Besides, the ninja population knew Tsunade was usually right, and the councilors were just too traditional for their own good.

Even if Tsunade were planning to do something political, none of that explains why she would need Team 7 out of Konoha to do it.

She interrupts Sasuke and Naruto’s pointless bickering to ask “Why did she send us here?”

Sasuke cuts off mid-sentence, ignoring the rest of Naruto’s rant to study Sakura. His gaze is as steady and piercing as it’s always been, but she’s no longer as affected by it. It’s a new talent; one she prides herself on.

Naruto is still pouting at Sasuke, but he doesn’t pay him any mind.

“What is she planning?” Sakura asks.

“A coup,” he says simply. Sakura reels for a moment, but only just. When she thinks about it critically, it makes sense. Three people control a village of thousands with significant militarized strength. They’ve known it was a broken system for some time but so far they’ve done nothing to change it. The Third had kept Konoha in a holding pattern, waiting for the next war, which had seemed one step away at every turn. By the time Tsunade had taken the hat, Konoha was already under siege.

“She’s planning to overthrow the entire system,” Sasuke says. “To prevent things like my clan’s massacre from happening again. To prevent organizations like ROOT from ever forming. Right now, the Hokage makes all final decisions regarding the village. The councilors are meant to advise her, but she’s stopped listening to them. They don’t like her as Hokage, nor do they like who she’s chosen as successor, not that I can blame them—”

“Hey!” Naruto yells, and whacks at Sasuke. He dodges neatly and carries on like he hadn’t heard Naruto.

“Their only option, in the current system, is to drive her out of the position and choose a Hokage who will agree with their every word. They know Konoha can’t operate without a council, so that gives them a lot of power. At the same time, the Hokage holds the final decision on everything. If they can’t reconcile, then one has to go. Either the councilors will throw Tsunade out, or she’ll throw them out.” He shrugs then, like none of this is any concern to him. It irks her a bit, but she’s too rattled by the information to dwell on it.

“But why us?” asks Sakura.

Sasuke leans back, supporting his weight on his arm and tilting his head back, like he’s counting the clouds in the sky. “Well, for one, I’m a traitor.”

“Not anymore,” Naruto mutters darkly.

“In other words, an easy scapegoat should anything go wrong. Say, if the councilors were to kill Tsunade—”

“That would never happen! Baa-chan is way too strong!”

“—then they could say I did it and have me killed off before anyone had a chance to question it.”

As if it’d be so easy to kill Sasuke.

“Alright,” Sakura agrees, because it’s a sound idea.

“As for the idiot,” Sasuke nods his head to the side, and Naruto straightens his spine and growls at Sasuke. “Everyone knows he’s a sure thing for the Seventh, so long as he doesn’t get himself killed in that time.”

“Hey!”

“Most shinobi of Konoha might answer to the Hokage first, but there are still a lot of people in Konoha who will side with the council. Tsunade and Kakashi will have that staining their careers, but the hag is leaving soon anyway, and Kakashi was always going to be a filler Hokage. Sending Naruto far and away clears their pet Hokage of any involvement, so he’ll take the hat without a cloud of doubt and distrust hanging over him.”

Sakura is already nodding, and even if Naruto seems to take issue with something Sasuke said, he’s still right. Naruto can’t have any involvement in this, not if he wants to be Seventh someday. But all that explains is that Tsunade got rid of the two most convenient scapegoats in Konoha—Sakura and Sai don’t fall into that category, do they?

“And us?”

“Sending Naruto and I away by ourselves looks suspicious. They’d think we were involved anyway, or at least informed. Reforming Team 7 is a convenient reason for both of us to leave the village at the same time, and it’s been previously proven that you’re the only one capable of keeping us from killing each other.”

Naruto opens his mouth as if to shout at Sasuke again, but then snaps it shut when he realizes everything Sasuke just said was true, and Naruto ought to know that.

“So Sai?” Sakura asks, looking at him from the corner of her eye. He’s been quiet most of this conversation, but then he has a tendency to stay quiet around them a lot.

“To keep you from killing them,” Sai says happily, finally chiming in. Sakura feels her smile fix into place, and she clenches her fists as she stands and turns to face Sai’s stupid fake smile.

“Oh?”

“Eh, I don’t get it,” Naruto says.

“That’s because you’re an idiot.”

“Am not! You’re—”

Sakura begins gathering chakra in her fist, patience quickly dwindling.

“Are you going to prove my point for me, Sakura?” Sai asks, still smiling like all of this is perfectly acceptable. Naruto and Sasuke are bickering behind her, and she’s got an annoyed, frozen smile on her lips and her eyes fixed on Sai’s stupid, fake smile.

“What did I say about giving me that smile?” Sakura asks sweetly. Then, before Sai has a chance to say anything, she moves lightning-quick, her fist connecting with Sai’s body and sending him flying back into the trees. The hit sends enough of a shock to the two morons behind her that they’re completely silent. It suits them.

She dusts off her hands, nods at her own handiwork—Sai is getting up, perfectly fine but definitely feeling it—and turns to sweep past two stunned idiots and make their way back to the hotel room for the day. There’s a hot spring with her name on it waiting there, and it’s a guaranteed block of time during which she won’t even have to _look_ at the three idiots she’s stuck with.

She just needs to make it through a few more days of this godsforsaken mission in this godsforsaken swamp with its godsforsaken asshole of a ruler. Then she’s going to go home, scrub the swamp out of her pores, eat something not containing swamp mushrooms, sleep in a room free of bickering boys, and possibly figure out what the hell happened in Konoha while they were gone.

In that order.


	6. Chapter 6

 

* * *

 Part II

* * *

 

Sakura doesn’t know why she expected Konoha to be visually different when they returned, but it looks exactly as she remembered it. Maybe there are a few more buildings here or there, as part of the rebuilding and expansion, but that’s almost constant at this point, so she barely registers it. It’s not as if she thought Konoha would be in flames, people looting and rioting and the Hokage tower crumbled to the ground in the wake of whatever political goings-on have occurred.

But no. It’s just Konoha, and the gate guards greet them warmly and check their paperwork and send them on through with happy little waves.

They’re supposed to report to the Hokage immediately upon return, which isn’t unusual for a mission, although maybe not as usual for C-rank missions. Their paperwork goes through the proper channels and they all march single-file to the Hokage’s office. Sakura’s not entirely sure which Hokage they’re going to find there, but it turns out it’s both of them, and Tsunade is yelling at Kakashi about something while Kakashi mostly ignores her.

Sakura raises her eyebrows, but doesn’t comment, and Kakashi gives them a little wave and says “Yo!” before returning to his book. He’s perched in the windowsill, looking entirely at ease, and Tsunade is fuming at his figure from the place behind the desk. At least they haven’t kicked her out entirely, then.

Then, she’s expecting to be filled in on what happened, but Tsunade insists they report on their mission first. Sai takes over.

“Mission complete. No complications or injury to either client or team. No follow-up needed.”

Tsunade nods, checks something on a sheet of paper in her hands, and then says “Very well. Good job. You’re dismissed.”

She’s starting to wonder if there even was a political revolution. Maybe the whole thing was just rumor and hearsay, and somewhere between Konoha and the Land of Swamps, things got a little twisted. She nods to herself. That must be it. The whole thing was just a big, overblown rumor.

She checks in at the hospital right after that, walking in to a relatively calm crew. Akane greets her cheerily, and says “Haruno-sama, you’re back!” Akane just made genin about six months ago and after one of her genin teammates made chunin and the other suffered a career-ending injury in the war, she switched full-time to the hospital. She’s training to be a medic-nin, and despite her age she has amazing chakra control already. Sakura’s actually been considering taking her on as an apprentice, although it’s kind of weird considering Sakura is still technically a chunin, and she doesn’t feel that much older than Akane.

“Hi, Akane-san,” she says warmly, “Fill me in?”

Akane nods, smile still plastered to her face, and starts rambling about the hospital’s status since her departure. Not much has changed, really, which isn’t bad, but isn’t exactly good, either. She’s been trying to completely revolutionize the way hospitals are run, especially where they get their medics from, and she’s been trying to help finally put a medic on every team, or at least start a program to teach teams basic medical jutsu. So no change is good because her system hasn’t dismantled itself in her absence, but it also means there’s no progress to be had, either.

She tells Akane to start working her into the rotation again. It shouldn’t be too hard to get the ball rolling again. The structure and methods are sound, the only thing needed now is the fuel, and if there’s one thing being Tsunade’s apprentice has taught her, it’s that she is very capable of being that fuel. She makes a note to check in with Shizune as well, and Tsunade is she has time, to make sure the work she’s been doing is still following their vaguely defined guidelines. (When this had first started, it’d been assigned to her as a side-mission, something to focus her efforts on while she furthered her talents and helped with the post-war cleanup. But since then it’s turned into something else entirely. More of the programs in place are hers than anything Tsunade and Shizune told her to try. But it’s all for a common goal, and Tsunade and Shizune seem to trust her with it, so she’s determined not to let them down.)

She makes it back to her apartment early, letting herself in and relishing in the quiet, even if everything is a bit dusty. She’s missed sleeping in her own bed—a luxury for most ninjas, but a perk of working full-time nearby—and she’s missed having alone time. As much as she loves her parents, it became increasingly difficult to live with them while she was working on a ninja schedule, coming back and leaving at odd times. Her civilian parents had been equally difficult to deal with when she was trying to sleep right around the time they would be coming home and making dinner. Plus Sakura has been a legal adult since she became a full-fledged ninja, and she’s making enough money to afford a small apartment on her own, so she doesn’t bother her parents and they don’t bother her. (She still visits, of course, but now there’s a lot less grumbling and overtired screaming.)

She does exactly what she’s been planning since she first accepted that mission from hell, and she enjoys every moment of it.

As far as she’s concerned, a political revolution can wait.

 

* * *

 

Okay, this is a genjutsu. It’s _gotta_ be.

Naruto pokes at Kurama inside his head, just to make sure. Kurama calls him annoying.

Holy shit, this is _real._

“Uhhhhh.”

Hinata’s pale eyes snap to him, and Naruto steps back in fright.

He’d just been going for a walk toward one of the training grounds, because he wanted to get in some practice and this one was far enough into the forest surrounding Konoha that his chakra signature shouldn’t get the sensors worked up when it spikes. He didn’t know it was already occupied, and apparently occupied by Team 8, and some sort of freaky genjutsu or something because Hinata is...not Hinata.

“Oh, Naruto-kun,” she says, relaxing her fighting pose and standing up straight. She isn’t stuttering like she usually does, but she still sounds like Hinata. Naruto relaxes a little.

“Hiya, Hinata-chan.” As an afterthought, he adds on “Kiba. Akamaru. Shino.”

Shino mutters something about coming after a dog. Akamaru barks at him.

Naruto walks a little farther into the training ground where the three of them are training. Or, actually, where it looked like Hinata was training and the other three were...cowering in fear. Naruto glances around, hand shoved in his pocket, trying to look more casual than he actually feels. Naruto’s pretty sure there used to be a lot more trees in this training ground, and not so many stumps.

It probably has something to do with Hinata destroying them all.

“Soooo,” he says slowly, not really sure how to talk to them in this situation. He stops just short of Hinata. The rest of her team is standing a good ten paces back. “How’s training?”

Kiba winces. Shino sinks behind his weird collared coat. Hinata’s eyes are _burning._

Naruto almost steps back again.

“Inadequate,” Hinata hisses. Like, actually hisses. Naruto has _never_ heard her talk like this before. He’s pretty sure his eyes are saucers.

“Um,” he tries.

Hinata suddenly turns to face him head-on, and then asks confidently “Naruto-kun, would you spar with me?”

Kiba flinches. Akamaru starts to whimper until Hinata turns to look. Akamaru settles down to lie on the ground and covers his snout with his paws. Kiba pats his head consolingly.

“Eh? Isn’t that what Shino and Kiba are doing here?”

“They are tired. I do not wish to harm them.”

It actually kinda looks like Hinata already harmed them, and that’s why they’re standing back, covered in dirt and scratches and were quietly watching as Hinata moved on from them to every tree in the training ground.

“But I don’t wanna hurt you, Hinata-chan,” Naruto says with a little chuckle, and he draws his hand from his pocket to rub at the back of his head.

“You will not harm me, Naruto-kun,” Hinata says, still in that weirdly assertive voice, and without hesitating she drops into her starting pose, one palm held steadily in front of her. Her byakugan are already activated, and she’s giving off small waves of intent.

Naruto kinda wants to pinch himself. Just in case he’s dreaming.

He’s like 99% sure he’s dreaming.

“Uhh, I guess,” Naruto says, because what the hell else is he supposed to do? Besides, he doesn’t think Hinata will hurt him, not really. She’s really strong, of course, but Naruto is a legend and besides, this is _Hinata._ He’s the least likely person for her to hurt.

Kiba doesn’t look so sure, but whatever, Kiba’s a dumbass.

Considering he’s fighting at a disadvantage, with only one arm, he thinks it’ll almost make it more of a fair fight. So he rolls his shoulders and then steps into a fighting stance.

Hinata doesn’t wait to strike. She darts forward, lightning-fast, and immediately there are bursts of chakra flying from her palms and cries of “Hah!” repeatedly piercing the air. Naruto has to jump back to avoid being _impaled_ by her hand, and she chases him back to the very edge of the training ground before he even has a chance to react.

Naruto keeps dodging, because even if they’re both ninjas, and Hinata seems really serious, he doesn’t actually wanna hurt her. She’s Hinata! This is crazy.

But avoiding her hits just seems to make Hinata _angrier,_ and her cries get louder, and her strikes speed up. She chases him in circles around the training ground, and Naruto takes a hit to his shoulder and he’s lucky it was on his right side because he’s pretty sure that shut down what’s left of his arm.

He keeps fleeing for his life, jumping and dodging and flipping mid-air to avoid her palms, and he’s starting to lose ground because she keeps speeding up and powering up, and Naruto wonders if he’s gonna die.

Kiba is definitely laughing like he’s about to die.

Shit.

Hinata lands a hard blow to his stomach in his distraction, and Naruto goes skidding back over the ground and his head hits with a soft thump. Holy shit, that was a lot of power.

Naruto scrambles to his feet, hoping Hinata isn’t already on him, but she’s standing right where she’d landed the blow, her stance still offensive.

“Naruto-kun,” she says darkly, “I will not improve if you do not take me seriously.”

Naruto looks wildly to Kiba and Shino for help. Shino is hiding behind his weird glasses and weird coat. Maybe he’s asleep. Kiba is sitting cross-legged on the ground, leaning against Akamaru, and he looks about as stunned as Naruto right now.

Useless.

“Right,” Naruto says blankly, turning back to Hinata. “Right. Sorry, Hinata-chan.”

Hinata nods once and then comes at him again with just as much force. Naruto dodges again, but this time he starts trying to counter-attack. At first it’s just a couple of punches, a sweep-kick that misses, and some sort of combo-move that she dodges without even breaking her stride. But Naruto is pretty used to sparring against people with doujutsus, so he didn’t expect any of those hits to land.

Hinata grazes his ear with a well-placed strike, and Naruto almost squeaks as he falls sideways to avoid it.

Right. Okay. He’s gonna die if he doesn’t take this seriously.

He waits until she shifts to push him back again, _hah-hah-hah_ pounding out with every rapid strike. Naruto doesn’t even realize what he’s planning to do until she speeds up her strikes and he has to fall back all the way to the tree line—or where it used to be—and then suddenly he’s twisting in the air and swirling chakra in his palm and he calls out “Rasengan!” as he just grazes her shoulder before she manages to dodge.

Holy shit. Did he just throw a rasengan at Hinata? What the hell! Why the hell did he do that? This is Hinata, not Sasuke, he can’t just go around throwing A-rank moves at her!

But as he glances up, panicked, he freezes. Because Hinata is smiling. No. She’s _smirking._

“Kurama,” Naruto mumbles, low, but Kurama just laughs at him and refuses to answer.

Seriously. Genjutsu. Kurenai is their jounin, maybe she’s hiding in the bushes somewhere?

Hinata doesn’t give him any time to check, she just starts at him again, and all thoughts of this being Hinata are blown from his mind as he slips into fighting mode, getting more and more serious as he tries his hand at another couple rasengans. She keeps pushing him back, though, and he can’t make any shadow clones with just one arm. Damn it.

He briefly considers sage mode, just so he can sense her coming attacks better, but she won’t leave him alone long enough for that. He keeps parrying and throwing out rasengans like candy even though they keep missing. He starts to growl a little, frustrated at his lack of options, and then suddenly Hinata’s fists burst into blue flames and she’s coming at him with _Twin Lions_ and Naruto barely has enough time to understand what the hell is happening, let alone dodge it.

He bursts into KCM just before she lands one of her fists. He still goes flying back, slamming into the trunk of a tree as it splinters and groans around him. He groans with it, KCM flickering and fading around him. Damn.

Hinata approaches him where he’s lying in a dent in the tree. She’s no longer in a fighting stance.

Naruto winces as he picks himself up from the splintered wood and says sheepishly, “Sorry, Hinata-chan. I’m still not really recovered from the last mission, and without my shadow clones...” It’s a lame excuse. Sasuke would probably just keep coming at him with killing intent if Naruto tried that one.

But this is Hinata, even if it is genjutsu-version, scary Hinata. So she just says “Sorry, Naruto-kun. I didn’t realize. I don’t wish to harm you, either.”

Naruto laughs nervously. “But you should keep training! You’ve gotten really strong, Hinata. It’s amazing.”

That’s apparently not the right thing to say. Naruto’s eyes widen as Hinata’s entire expression darkens into something dangerous. “Thank you for saying so.” She doesn’t sound like she’s all that happy about it.

Before she can level any more lions at his chest, he gingerly walks over to join Shino, Kiba, and Akamaru on their little patch of untouched grass while Hinata continues her complete decimation of the training ground’s trees.

He collapses down between the two of them, kind of shell-shocked, and then asks “What the _hell?”_

Kiba just moans and buries his face in Akamaru’s fur. Akamaru whines pitifully, and Shino, who has been eerily silent (like he usually is, so it’s not that eerie, really) finally speaks up.

“She has a lot of pent-up anger. Why? Because her father requested she reassume her position as leader of the Hyuuga.”

Hinata cracks the trunk of another tree in two, and it groans and creaks as the upper half crashes to the ground.

“Eh?” Naruto exclaims, “But that’s grea-mmphguh.”

Kiba’s hand is clamped tightly over Naruto’s mouth. It smells like dog. Naruto scrunches up his nose in distaste, but then he notices Hinata pausing to look over at them before continuing her massacre.

“Shh!” Kiba hisses. “If she hears you say that she’ll _kill you.”_

Naruto rips his face away from Kiba’s gross dog hands. “But why? Isn’t that what she wants?”

“I don’t know!” Kiba cries, and Akamaru yips in confusion as well. “We both congratulated her when we found out, and then she got all scary and went crazy! Kurenai-sensei said something about Shino and me not ‘getting it’ or whatever and then she let Hinata drag us here to beat us up.”

“Hiashi-sama is concerned for the Hyuuga Clan’s reputation among the council,” Shino says smartly, and their eyes all track Hinata as she plows right through a small grouping of young trees, each of their trunks snapping like twigs against her fists. “Why? Because a veteran of the war will be viewed more favorably by the clans than a young noble clanswoman with no combat experience.”

Naruto has to kind of puzzle that together in his brain. “Wait, the council?” Naruto asks, frowning. “You mean those old geezers? Why does Hiashi care what they think?”

Shino shakes his head, but Kiba answers first. “Idiot. He means the new council. The Hokage tossed out the two old geezers weeks ago. The new council’s got all the clan leaders and department heads. My mom’s been bitching at me about acting all proper since she’s a councilwoman now and we’ve gotta show up all the old noble clans.”

Naruto blinks a couple of times. The bastard said something along those lines when they were in the Land of Swamps, but Naruto didn’t know it was true. “Wait, your mom’s a councilwoman?”

Kiba huffs, annoyed. “Duh. She’s leader of the Inuzuka clan. Shino’s dad, too. Plus Ino and Shikamaru, since their dads...” Kiba doesn’t finish that sentence, but they all understand. “Basically everyone on the council fought on the front lines. Except the Hyuuga send the branch house to fight and leave the main house safe at home, so now the only main house member with any war experience is Hinata.”

Naruto looks back over at Hinata, who’s back to her regular style, since the twin lions was getting to be a bit of overkill. She looks like she’s got a lot of anger to work out. Naruto’s still a little confused, though. “Well why’s she upset about it?” He asks, frowning.

“Hinata disapproves of the timing,” says Shino, “Why? Because her father accepting her now, under these circumstances, suggests that he means to use her for the sake of the clan.”

Kiba sighs. “Yeah, she’s probably pissed ‘cause this means her dad doesn’t want her back ‘cause she’s actually strong or ‘cause he loves her, but ‘cause he doesn’t want the main branch to look like a bunch of pussies.” Kiba snorts and grins, his canines sharp and prominent. “Even though they _are.”_

“‘Cept Hinata, of course,” Naruto says, with a little nod in Hinata’s direction.

“Duh,” Kiba says. “Hinata’s not a pussy, she’s fucking _scary.”_

To prove his point, she fells another tree. Naruto wonders who’s gonna be footing the bill for turning a heavily-wooded training ground into a flat-plains training ground. He might go pull a few strings to see if he can have the bill sent to the Hyuuga compound. Naruto would love to see the confused look on Hiashi’s face.

With that last tree, Hinata seems to come to some sort of stopping point. She marches over to them, barely even out of breath, and says “Kiba-kun, Shino-kun, I am done training for today. I believe we should check in with Kurenai-sensei now.”

Akamaru yips and then Kiba and him both jump to their feet—or paws—and say goodbye to Naruto. Shino magically appears on Hinata’s other side, standing like he’d never been sitting or like he never even moved, and he says something Naruto doesn’t really listen to.

Hinata turns to Naruto, who’s standing up himself, and says “Thank you for sparring with me today, Naruto-kun.”

“Any time,” he says happily, and realizes he kind of means it. Hinata’s actually a really good sparring partner.

“Please give Sakura-san and Sasuke-kun my regards,” she says with a small, polite bow, and then turns on her heel and sets off in the opposite direction, back toward Konoha proper. Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino fall into formation, following her lead, and Naruto snickers at little at the way Kiba hovers just a bit closer than is strictly safe. He pretends he doesn’t like scary women because they remind him too much of his mom, but he’s totally got an even bigger thing for Hinata now that she’s all powerful and assertive. Naruto can tell.

Actually, they’d make a pretty good couple, Naruto thinks, and then snickers while he heads the opposite direction, on his way back to his apartment. Though maybe he should check in with the other two members of his team, since Hinata said to say hi for her. Naruto’s not really sure why she said that, but most of their genin teams still hang out together even though almost none of them are still teamed up anymore. So maybe it’s just a team thing.

He shrugs and continues on his way.


	7. Chapter 7

If Sasuke had known he was being called to the Hokage’s office for the sole reason of being asked wholly inappropriate questions, he would have foregone showing up at all and instead focused his efforts on training in his right-handed kenjutsu. But he had not known, so now he’s being forced to stand at attention in the Hokage’s office with both Tsunade and Kakashi staring at him like they’re overly invested in his response.

He declines to give them their answer right away, and instead asks snappishly, “Which one of you is Hokage, anyway?”

Kakashi eye-smiles behind his mask and the old hag purses her lips in annoyance and whips out “If this brat,” presumably Kakashi, “would stop making excuses then I would be sitting at a sake bar by now, believe me.”

Sasuke just raises his eyebrows. That didn’t actually answer his question, but considering Konoha’s abysmal track record with choosing Hokages, he’s not sure there is a definitive answer. Idiots, all of them. How Konoha hasn’t fallen apart yet is beyond him, considering it seems to be held together with chewing gum and Naruto’s will alone.

“That’s not important,” Tsunade replies impatiently, “I need your answer.”

Sasuke considers her—the ridiculous transformation that makes her look years younger than she is, the fact that she outright refuses to wear the Hokage robes, the blue diamond on her forehead that Sakura has inexplicably inherited from her—and says “My answer to your entirely unfounded and invasive question regarding my intention to procreate?”

“Yep, that’s the one,” Kakashi replies cheerily, earning a glare from Tsunade.

“I fail to understand how this is your business, _Hokage-samas,_ ” Sasuke says tiredly, “But yes, at some point in the future I intend to restore my clan.”

Kakashi looks delighted, and Tsunade simply nods in affirmation and says “I thought so.”

If she thought so, Sasuke’s not sure why he’s here, being asked to confirm this, seeing as none of it is anyone’s business but his own. But if not for her and Kakashi’s efforts, among other factors, he would be either dead or sitting in a chakra-sealed cell somewhere. He supposes he owes them.

“In that case,” Tsunade says, “The Uchiha are hereby reinstated as an official Konoha clan, with you, as its sole surviving member, as head of the clan. You will be expected to fill your seat on the council and attend all mandated council meetings unless you have conflicts of precedence, such as Konoha-sanctioned missions or severe health issues that would bar you from attending.”

Sasuke stares blankly ahead for a solid thirty seconds, in which time he manages to mostly control his emotions from showing outwardly, and then he asks “The council?”

Kakashi is enjoying this too much. Sasuke wants to hit him. Tsunade gives him a knowing grin. “Yes. The council is now comprised of all clan and division heads, which means that as the Uchiha clan head, you will be given an equal vote among the council, same as the other clans and the divisions. You’re welcome, brat.”

Sasuke’s fairly certain this move proves the old hag is senile. Sasuke is a former missing-nin, a traitor, and once attempted to kill her and all her fellow kages. He’s universally hated by the entirety of Konoha, barring one helplessly stupid blond. Giving him a position on the council is tantamount to declaring a civil war. Sasuke has no loyalty to Konoha anymore. He was one step away from executing the previous councilors themselves, if Tsunade hadn’t gotten there first and sent them packing to the hell of obscurity on the outskirts of Konoha.

And yet this move gives him legitimate power in Konoha that can’t be stripped from him without dismantling the government. It’s an extremely beneficial position. It may be disadvantageous to the Hokages, though they don’t seem aware of that, but it’s extremely advantageous to him personally. He would be foolish to deny himself this chance.

“Thank you,” he manages, and Tsunade seems legitimately surprised, but waves him off.

“Now go. I’ve gotta convince this one over here,” Kakashi again, who’s got his nose buried in one of those pornographic novels, “to actually take the hat before the next council meeting. Heaven knows I’d rather miss that.”

Leaving Sasuke to fend for himself against the sure-to-be-outraged council members. Although it would benefit to have her there to scream down the others, he’s also intrigued by the idea of a passive Kakashi in her place, watching while he skewers the other clan heads with just how much he knows about the political game.

Sasuke gives a perfunctory bow to the both of them and then makes his exit. He has some reading to do, now. If memory serves, there are certain rules all clans must abide by, requirements to meet, and special privileges afforded to them. One of which is a compound relative to the size of the clan. The Uchiha compound was destroyed with the Akatsuki invasion, from what Sasuke understands, and no one in Konoha thought it pertinent to rebuild a compound for a clan that no longer existed. There’s no way to accurately determine its former location, since the attack created a massive crater that the rebuilt Konoha now lies in, a good few stories lower than it once was.

While his status as a clan head will likely afford him incomparable liberties, it also may prove to be a tightrope walk, at least until he manages to somehow restore his reputation with Konoha. Sasuke has so far found this to be considerably more difficult than he imagined. Apparently the going rate nowadays is to save Konoha from an enemy that already killed half the town and then talk that enemy into reviving everyone he killed.

Since he has very little interest in doing any of that, he’ll have to settle for the next best thing, which is (unfortunately) to spend time, publicly, with someone who has already saved all of Konoha. For the first time in his life, he considers himself lucky for being friends with Naruto, and then promptly shuts that thought down. The orange idiot is already corroding his mind. Gods save him.

 

* * *

 

Sakura has noticed that the Rookie 9 teams have proven peculiarly harder to separate than genin teams from prior generations. Ino-Shika-Chou is, of course, bound by the tradition of their clans to continue their partnership well beyond their genin days. Ino seems increasingly busy these days, but Sakura still occasionally finds them all getting lunch or training in one of the training fields, though they’ve taken to training on one of the clan’s compounds as well.

Team 8 still seems to be operating as a genin team, despite the three of them being chunin and Kurenai’s maternity leave keeping her from missions outside the village for the next year. Sakura sees them gathering outside Kurenai’s door on more than one occasion, and from what Sakura can tell, the three of them are still training together on a regular basis. This does make sense from a tactical standpoint. All the members of Team 8 are based on long-range tracking and stealth infiltration, so their similar specialties probably makes it easy for them to continue training with each other.

Team 7 is...an anomaly. Sakura can’t really figure out _why_ they’re still so close, considering Sasuke’s extended absence and the absolute mess they were during the last days of the war. Sasuke flipped sides at least five times in the span of a week, Sakura devoted herself to killing Sasuke and had the most awkward conversation ever with Naruto before that, and Naruto threatened Sasuke with debilitating injury and death so many times Sakura’s surprised either of them made it back to Konoha in one (not entirely whole) piece.

By all logic, they should be pretty done with each other. Sasuke isn’t one for dealing with anything he deems trivial or unworthy of his time, and Sakura can’t imagine how either of them have managed to pass that particular test. But if anything, Sasuke seems _eager_ to spend time with them, to the point that he brings up ramen once before Naruto can even suggest it.

Sakura is baffled, and Naruto is suspicious but so blindingly happy he writes it off.

She’s fairly sure he has an ulterior motive, but for the life of her, she can’t figure out what it is. So she just keeps going along whenever she’s got free time, training with them (a particularly interesting affair that usually involves panicked messages to the Hokage’s office and squads of ANBU showing up, not that the boys have noticed,) having dinner or lunch together, sometimes simply walking together. Naruto and Sasuke have both shown up to bother her at the hospital, but she always sends them away because they have a tendency to get in the way _and_ cause themselves injury in the process.

Almost all of her down time is spent with them, although whenever Ino pries herself away from her new responsibilities they have lunch sometimes. She doesn’t mind—it’s actually nice, a little nostalgic, and means she doesn’t eat, sleep, and breathe at the hospital all week. Naruto is a chatterbox, more so in his perpetual boredom of no-missions while he waits for Tsunade to finish work on the prosthetics and Kakashi to take over and actually bother to give Naruto something to do. Sasuke is a silent presence, almost like he’s not there at all sometimes, except for the fact that he is.

One particularly warm night, she gets off her shift at the hospital, strolling out into the sticky night air and frowning only to find herself bracketed by two very powerful shinobi intent on taking her with them.

“Boys,” she says dryly.

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto sings, slinging his left arm over her shoulders and leaning in toward her. “We’re going to get BBQ! Come with us.”

“You’re going to get fat if you keep eating out like this,” Sakura says. But it’s not a denial—she got caught up in work and forgot to eat lunch today so she’s famished—and she lets Naruto steer her toward the restaurant while Sasuke silently flanks her other side.

“Nah,” Naruto says easily, “I lived on cup ramen for—er, I still do, so that means I’ve been going on for almost two decades and Chouji’s still got me beat!”

Sakura groans. One day, Naruto is going to eat one cup ramen too many and keel over. Eventually someone has to force him to eat a vegetable, and not just the dehydrated ones they put in the ramen.

“‘Sides, I eat other stuff. Like barbecue.” Then he tugs them into the BBQ place—it’s different from Yakiniku Q but still smells delicious—and starts to drag them toward a table when one of the staff waylays the three of them and says “Sorry, but you need to leave.”

Naruto visibly flinches, and Sakura’s one second away from laying into this guy about how Naruto _saved his sorry ass_ ten times over, so he could show a little respect. But then the guy looks at Sasuke scathingly and says “We don’t serve _traitors.”_

Naruto goes from upset to vicious in seconds, turning to face the guy and yelling “Listen here you damn—”

But Sasuke has been staring down the staff member since he spoke and then he seems to decide something. “Che.”

Then he turns around and strolls out the doors. Naruto’s left flapping his mouth and squawking—“That defeats the whole point, bastard, _get back here!”_ —and he runs out after him. Sakura levels a careful look at the guy, who just shrugs—it’s probably a manager who told him to say that, though he seems to agree—and then follows the boys out.

Sasuke is casually walking down the street and Naruto is bouncing along after him, yelling again. “Bastard! You can’t just let them win, what the hell? That was such bullshit and—”

“It’s true,” Sauske says with a careless shrug.

“Is not!” Naruto parries back, and Sakura rolls her eyes from her spot behind them, because Naruto doesn’t understand anything. “You _saved the world,_ you should get a free pass for that!”

“I tried to kill the kages,” Sasuke replies.

“You never actually _tried,”_ Naruto hedges.

“I would’ve.”

“But you didn’t.”

“Because you stopped me,” Sasuke shoots back.

“By making you better, so you didn’t _want_ to kill them anymore!”

“I’m still guilty.”

“No you’re not,” Naruto growls.

“Yes. I am,” Sasuke says stonily.

“No you’re—”

“Would you both shut up and pick a direction so we can get some food?” Sakura snaps. Naruto and Sasuke both turn to look back at her. She had enough of their pointless bickering in the Land of Swamps, she doesn’t need it in Konoha too. Not that they’ll ever really stop—but they should do it while walking in a direction, specifically a direction that leads to food, because Sakura is starving.

“Yakiniku?” Naruto suggests.

Sasuke shrugs. Sakura sighs and grabs them both by the upper arm to drag them toward Yakiniku Q. At least they know that place will serve them, although how grudgingly they do it is actually up for debate. Sakura hadn’t paid much attention the last time they went.

Naruto and Sasuke do stop arguing, although they replace it with glaring silently at each other. Dinner goes spectacularly fast. Naruto is refusing to talk to Sasuke, which takes up all his concentration, which means he doesn’t talk at all. Sasuke is ignoring Naruto, which isn’t exactly new, but which means he finishes eating quicker because he isn’t constantly being bothered and having to form snappish replies. Sakura is just starving, so she downs everything in sight and then downs seconds.

Naruto seems tentatively ready to start forgiving Sasuke by the time they get outside again. He never was that good at holding grudges, even against his ‘rival’. But before they can even try, there’s a random passer-by who hisses something at Sasuke and then _spits at him,_ like they don’t like in a relatively civilized society.

Naruto seems ready to _throttle_ the guy, but he scampers off before he even gets the chance and Sasuke is still walking on forward like it hadn’t happened, hand in his pocket.

“What the hell!” Naruto yells, and Sakura clenches her jaw and refuses to say anything. “What is _with_ people tonight?”

Sasuke snorts. “Don’t tell me you’ve just noticed.”

“What? Just noticed what?”

Sasuke doesn’t say anything, but Sakura thinks he rolls his eyes judging from the way Naruto reacts.

“What? They can’t do that! Why do you keep letting them—”

“Like I said, idiot, because I’m _guilty_ —”

“You’re not guilty!” Naruto yells. “You’re inno—You’re reformed.”

“Reformed,” Sasuke scoffs. “Right, because I’m all warm and fuzzy about Konoha now.”

“Well you’re not trying to destroy it.”

“Who knew you had such low standards for your precious village.” Sasuke is angry. Truly, deeply angry, except he’s angry in a quiet way. Sakura is so used to him expressing his anger through fighting that this is almost fascinating to see. Because Sakura’s also fairly sure Sasuke is angry _at himself._

“Stop acting like you’re still evil, bastard. You’re not fooling anyone anymore, you know.”

“Actually, I seem to be fooling everyone but you. Or maybe you’re just a fucking moron.”

“Stop calling me that!” Naruto yells, and they’re attracting attention now, walking at a furious pace down the middle of the street. People still lingering after a night drinking or a late night working are stopping and staring as they pass by. Sakura starts to feel ridiculously warm, and she’s not sure it’s just from the weather.

“It’s true.”

“No, _you’re_ the moron for letting people treat you like crap!”

“Can’t help people being right,” Sasuke replies darkly, and Naruto all-out stops walking so he can turn and face him. His cheeks are flushed red, as are his eyes.

“People are stupid,” Naruto says roughly, “People treat other people like crap when they don’t deserve it. And you _don’t._ So stop acting like a sorry prick and fight back!” Naruto shoves at Sasuke’s shoulder, pushing him back while they glower at each other.

“No,” Sasuke says childishly.

Naruto groans, exasperated, and pulls at his hair. “Fine, then I’ll do it for you.”

“I don’t need you fighting my battles for me,” Sasuke sneers, “I never have.”

“No but you need someone to pull that _stick_ out of your ass, you stubborn bastard!” Naruto yells and then gives Sasuke another shove before stepping back and then jumping up onto the nearest roof and disappearing. Sasuke glares after the empty space he left behind for a minute, and then lets out a “Hn,” and keeps walking.

The villagers finally turn back to their own business. Sakura walks a little quicker until she’s next to Sasuke, where Naruto had been. She doesn’t say anything, but she is walking very expectantly, and Sasuke picks up on it just like she knew he would.

He sighs. “What?”

“You’re an idiot,” she says flatly.

“Just because he’s a naive dipshit doesn’t mean he needs to do anything.”

“Yes he does,” Sakura says.

“No he—”

“He wants to,” Sakura amends. “He wants to do something, because he’s Naruto. And if he’s not gonna be fighting against you anymore, then you have to let him fight for you.”

“Why should I?” Sasuke asks, skeptical.

“Because he doesn’t know how to function otherwise.”

Sasuke snorts, clearly flippant about this. “That’s his problem.”

“No, it’s your problem, and you owe him. He needs to be fighting for something and he’s decided that something is you, so suck it up and let him.”

Sasuke quietly considers this and then gives Sakura a sideways glance. “What about you?”

He’s asking like he thinks he’s going to find some upper hand here, or like he’s going to somehow figure out how to disregard this entire conversation and prove he’s right. But Sakura knows him too well for that, and she’s not going to let him.

She shrugs. “I stopped knowing how to function without loving you a long time ago. I’m over it.”

It’s taken her quite a while to so casually admit this, but the war hardened her and proved that if her crush could weather that kind of storm, then it wasn’t just a crush. She’s come to start accepting the parts of herself she cannot change, and unfortunately, her feelings for Sasuke seem to be one of those things.

“I thought you wanted to kill me?” Sasuke asks, darkly amused.

“Oh, I still do,” she says nonchalantly, “Don’t get complacent. I hate you. I will always hate you in the same way that I will always love you. And Naruto will always want to fight you in the same way he’ll always want to protect you. Killing you wouldn’t change a damn thing.”

Sasuke looks at her, and Sakura has to hold back a sickly-sweet smile at how much she’s enjoying shattering his bubble of self-containment. “You see, Sasuke-kun,” she says his name like it’s dripping with honey, “Our problem is that Naruto and I can’t stop _feeling_ about you. Hate, love, it doesn’t matter. We can’t stop. Three years and damning proof that you are irredeemably fucked up, and we still couldn’t stop. We don’t know _how_ anymore. So sorry about your pity party, but Naruto and I are the reigning champs of loving people who don’t want to be loved. You’re shit out of luck.”

Sasuke stops abruptly, standing in the middle of the street and staring at Sakura.

Sakura keeps walking, a smirk on her lips. She waves a carefree hand over her shoulder and says “Ja ne.”


	8. Chapter 8

“But Baa-chan,” Naruto whines helplessly, giving her his best pout. “I can’t even make shadow clones!”

“Too bad, brat. Deal with it. It’s not exactly easy growing limbs, you know,” Tsunade replies briskly. “Though I’d be done a lot sooner if your teacher would get off his lazy ass and take the hat already.” Tsunade shoots a glare at Kakashi, who’s perched on the windowsill again with a book.

Naruto turns to face him and narrows his eyes. “Kaka-sensei,” Naruto says darkly.

“Oh look,” Kakashi says lightly, “A distraction.” And then he falls right out of the windowsill and disappears into the streets of Konoha. Naruto kind of wants to hunt him down and drag him back here, but Tsunade’s the one making the damn arms, so she’s the one Naruto needs to talk to the most. He sighs, dejected.

“Can’t you just make me Hokage instead?”

“Nice try,” Tsunade replies, collapsing into her chair and leaning back, staring balefully at the mountains of paperwork on her desk. “You’re not ready yet. At this point, I would toss you to the wolves ready or not, but the jounins and the council have already voted. The white-haired brat is officially Hokage, no matter how much he denies it. All I have to do is convince him to take his oath and then I’m taking an extended vacation.”

Naruto opens his mouth but Tsunade cuts him off.

 _“After_ I finish the prosthetics, I promise. Now unless you can convince Kakashi that the Hokage’s paperwork will magically do itself while he’s in office, I’ve got business to attend to. Shoo.” Tsunade waves him off, and Naruto pouts at her again but leaves with a defeated slump to his shoulders.

This whole thing is so unfair. Kakashi is being _stupid,_ like stupider than Naruto has ever been, and just because he’s lazy and he doesn’t actually wanna be Hokage because he’s _crazy_ doesn’t mean he can just hang around reading porn and having Tsunade do all his work for him. Heck, _Naruto_ would do all the work if it meant Kakashi would just suck it up and let Tsunade return to working on the prosthetics.

Actually...

Naruto grins. He’s got an idea. But he’s gonna need some help.

 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru says slowly, staring at the bouncing blond at his door. “What’s up?”

“I’ve got a proposition for you,” Naruto says brightly, not bothering to hide his grin. Shikamaru studies Naruto, calculating his odds of escape and finding them too low to bother trying.

“Does it involve expending energy in any way?” Shikamaru asks.

Naruto screws up his face, like he’s actually gotta think about it—not entirely a good sign—and says “Probably not _too_ much.”

This doesn’t sound promising.

“C’mon, Shikamaru, I really, _really_ need your help.” Naruto is making puppy-eyes at him now, which have nothing to do with logic but still somehow manage to have an effect on him. Shikamaru sighs and steps out onto the front step, closing the door behind him and shoving his hands in his pockets. Naruto is already grinning in appreciation.

Shikamaru has calculated all the possible outcomes, and there’s absolutely no way he isn’t going to regret this. But that’s what makes Naruto Naruto: his absolute determination to do things his way, and the sure knowledge that if Shikamaru doesn’t help, it’s going to be a disaster for him, and Naruto has seen quite enough disaster for one lifetime.

Naruto’s original plan is abhorrently stupid, from the parts Shikamaru bothered to listen to. But Naruto takes him up on the roof of the hospital, which happens to have one of the best unobstructed views of the clouds he’s ever seen, so Shikamaru spends a good long while watching the shapes float by and thinking about a way to make Naruto’s plan tenable.

There are three steps. The first step is to convince Kakashi that Naruto is not as hopelessly stupid and unteachable as he thinks, and it will definitely be the hardest step.

He can’t do this outright though, since Kakashi is nearly as intelligent as Shikamaru himself. He would notice any obvious maneuvers, which is why Naruto came to him, which is why he’s redesigned a plan that is too subtle for Naruto’s methods, so Kakashi won’t suspect.

It’s based largely around conveniently-timed actions that Kakashi just so happens to see. Naruto in the library, reading up on political history and economic systems. To be fair, Naruto doesn’t actually have to understand any of this—he just has to look like he might be.

With the convenient lure of a new pre-release copy of a pornographic novel, which Shikamaru happens to know is written by a Suna kunoichi with an impossibly vast knowledge of sex acts, this step is almost too easy. Naruto sets himself up in the most obvious location in the library, Shikamaru gets the librarian to place the new books on a stand nearby, and Kakashi walks right into it.

Naruto was given clear instructions not to pay Kakashi any mind unless spoken to, but he does prop all his books up around himself and look busy. Kakashi, maybe because he’s eager to read the new book, doesn’t stop to chat.

The process repeats in different iterations: Naruto holed up in the Hokage’s private scoll collection while Kakashi is reporting in; Naruto asking Hiashi about the Hyuuga’s political needs and expectations while Kakashi is conveniently reading in his favorite tree in the compound; Naruto having lunch with Iruka at Ichiraku and having a viable conversation about Academic reform and improvement while Kakashi walks by; Naruto entirely forgetting the plan and realizing he’s learned something from all that time spent studying, and walking around town with three times the political savvy, striking up conversation with anyone who will listen.

By then it’s time for step two, which is to prove to Kakashi that the Hokage is no longer the sole decision-maker, but that Konoha as a whole should move toward a more democratic system with less required of the Hokage and more sharing of the responsibilities.

Since this was already in effect long before Shikamaru got dragged into this, it’s almost too easy. The new council is gearing up to convene, so Naruto goes to talk to Tsunade under the premise of begging for a seat on the council, which gives him a good reason to ask excessive questions about the council’s new role in governing Konoha, and the distribution of tasks to the council, and the idea of holding a city-wide election for non-military matters, such as whether Konoha should build a shopping and tourist district, now that travel is increasing due to the peace treaty.

All of this conveniently occurs while Kakashi is in the room, at Tsunade’s request, and Naruto swears he never once turned the page in his book, which meant he was listening.

Which brings them to step three. Step three involves more of Shikamaru’s involvement than he particularly wants, but at this point he’s too far invested to give up, so he sighs and moans about it to Ino, then sucks it up and helps.

Step three is to prove to Kakashi that Naruto has a support system in place, so if he needs help with anything, there are at least five other people he can go to first before he bothers the Hokage with it.

Shikamaru is the most important of these people, simply because he’s the most intelligent. So he and Naruto start spending a ridiculous amount of time together, to the point that Shikamaru has been pigeonholed into becoming the Hokage’s personal aide. Or, in this case, the Hokage-in-training’s personal aide.

But Naruto actually does want someone to help bounce ideas off of, and Shikamaru can see him taking most of this seriously, and Kakashi can see all of that, as is the point.

Naruto also has a few meaningful conversations with Sasuke, since he’s a council member and clan head now, and Sakura, because of her involvement at the Hospital, and Iruka for the academy, and Teuchi for the business-owner’s perspective.

All of this adds up to Kakashi taking the hat, pawning the work off on someone who actually wants it, and not feeling like he’s completely ruining Konoha by doing so. It has the added benefit of Tsunade no longer bothering Kakashi with pleas to take the hat, and subsequently Kakashi having quite a lot more time to read porn than he had before.

It works almost too quickly. They haven’t finished all of step three before there’s an announcement running through the city that Kakashi has agreed to officially take the hat and the oath. Konoha celebrates, Tsunade drinks, Naruto cheers, and Shikamaru attempts to slink away unnoticed before he gets roped into anything else he doesn’t want to do.

Kakashi finds him.

“Maa, what are you doing out here this time of night, Shikamaru?”

Shikamaru stops walking and tilts his head back. “Enjoying the breeze.”

Kakashi hums, dropping down from the tree he’d been in. He’s abandoned the Hokage robes from his induction, but he’s still got the hat hanging around his neck by a string. “That was quite the plan you put together.”

Shikamaru considers his options. Denial won’t get him anywhere, because Kakashi isn’t looking for a roundabout confirmation, he already knows. Trying to derail the conversation won’t work either, since Kakashi doesn’t fall for distraction that easily unless it’s in the form of a pornographic novel. Talking about porn might work, if he knew the first thing about it, but despite his relationship with the new local author, he tries to stay far away from most of it.

Acceptance seems like the best outcome for all of them, so he goes with it. “It worked out alright.” He shrugs.

“Almost,” Kakashi says deceptively. “Depending on your answer right now.”

Oh no.

“I want you to serve as official advisor to the Hokage.”

Damn Naruto. This is exactly what he was hoping to avoid.

“I don’t—”

“Maa, I knew you would recognize this great opportunity. Of course, you’ll serve as my advisor until Naruto takes the hat. Unless he wouldn’t want you as advisor, which, if I know my cute little student, he definitely will. I’m sure you’ll do fine. Report in tomorrow at dawn.”

Then he’s gone, and Shikamaru is left to tilt his head back to look up at the stars and mutter, “Troublesome.”

 

* * *

 

Sasuke silently studies his fellow council members, resisting the viciously satisfied smirk of victory threatening to overtake his mouth. The council is, predictably, very unhappy about his presence. Hiashi Hyuuga actually looks about a minute away from having an aneurism, which would be divine retribution considering the seal he uses to keep his subordinates in line is tantamount to the same.

The spin on the shuriken is that the old hag finally shoved the hat on Kakashi’s head, so the other council members are being met with flippant disregard for their concerns instead of an actual logical argument for Sasuke being here.

“The Uchiha _are_ a clan,” Kakashi says mildly, his eye crinkling at the corner as he looks across the table at Hiashi, in response to his question about why ‘that person’ was here.

“Barely,” Tsume Inuzuka growls, and Sasuke would argue the legitimacy of allowing a clan of feral mutts into the council over one of the founding noble clans of Konoha, but he’s not keen on being ripped into by claws and fangs. Naruto does enough of that when he’s angry.

“The Uzumaki are also a one-member clan, yet I don’t see that kid holding a seat on the council.” Sasuke’s not entirely sure who it is he’s looking at, but the resemblance to Asuma is enough that Sasuke hazards a guess at him being a Sarutobi. Likely the Sandaime’s kid. The brat with the ridiculous scarf who follows Naruto around is his son, Sasuke thinks.

“Ah, yes,” Kakashi says wisely, “But the Uzumaki are an Uzushio clan, not a Konoha one. Although I’m sure you’ll all be seeing my adorable student’s face in this room in a few years’ time.”

“So then it’s confirmed? Naruto is going to be Seventh?” Genma asks. Sasuke is still a little hazy on why he’s here, of all people, but this new council is a bit of a circus. The clan heads are easy enough to spot, but the Division heads are a bit harder to nail down. The ANBU Commander is obvious, considering he’s the only ANBU with a seat at the table, participating rather than guarding. Sasuke thinks Shizune is here for the Division of Medicine, since Tsunade has wiped her hands of this entire affair. As for the other Divisions, it’s up for debate.

“Now, now, it’s not a sure thing just yet,” Kakashi says, and Sasuke snorts quietly. “He still has to win the vote of the jounins and, of course, this council. But he is officially training for the position. I’m confident he’ll be prepared to take the hat when he’s matured a bit.”

Naruto. Mature. Kakashi may have a stolen sharingan but he’s incredibly blind.

“It’s not like we don’t all know it,” Tsume says brashly, “Kid’s been a shoo-in since the Pain invasion.”

Ah, yes. The story of the Hero of Konoha, who rode in on toad-back at the last minute and saved the village from annihilation, reviving the dead through the highly evolved method of Talk no Jutsu. Sasuke wonders if any of these people realize how hypocritical they are. Ten years ago they wanted Naruto’s head on a pike, now they’re all bowing down to him and blatantly ignoring their own wrongdoing. At least Sasuke has always been upfront and honest about his hatred of Naruto. And he has the benefit of not giving half a damn about Konoha, so he isn’t reduced to a groveling, pathetic mess just because the idiot managed to save this pitiful village.

He really is astounded that Tsunade and Kakashi asked Sasuke to be on this council.

“Back to the matter at hand,” Hiashi cuts in, “Is there no way for this council to hold a vote about the safety of allowing the Uchiha a position with us? Surely this poses a great security risk to Konoha, given his past crimes.”

“Of which I was exonerated,” Sasuke puts in blithely. He places his hand carefully on the table in front of him, staring at each of the council members in turn, searching for any signs of their underlying emotions, and the likelihood of them posing as opposition in the future.

“By the Fifth, acting without the sanction of this council.”

Sasuke shrugs. “Exonerated is exonerated.”

“Who’s to say he won’t use the sensitive information in these council meetings to determine the most opportune time to strike against Konoha?” This is coming from some woman, one of the Division heads Sasuke doesn’t know, and she’s so far refused to even look in his direction. She seems as if she’s _scared_ of him. Tch.

“In case it’s escaped your notice,” Sasuke says to her directly, “I’m hardly in any shape to be _attacking_ anything.” He waves the stump of his arm around for emphasis, and the woman finally chances a look only to glance away quickly, color flooding her cheeks. Of course, his missing arm is hardly a handicap. But like most uninformed ninjas, she’s assumed that due to the sharingan, his power is firmly reliant on ninjutsu, like Kakashi. No hand seals means no ninjutsu unless he spontaneously developed a one-handed seals bloodline like that crossdresser in Wave.

His power is not Kakashi’s power. He did not simply copy thousands of techniques just to spit them back out at the enemy. Orochimaru was never certain if the copied jutsu would carry over when he took possession of Sasuke’s body, so his training hadn’t focused on anything to do with the sharingan, at least not at that point. Instead he developed his kenjutsu, which is weakened without the use of his dominant arm, but not entirely useless. His taijutsu is on par, of course, and Susano’o, Amaterasu, and now his Chidori don’t require hand seals. Sasuke is weaker than he would be, but he’s hardly _crippled._

Of course, the council does not need to know that.

“Have any of you considered,” he says carefully, “That I took a position on this council so that I might try to fix Konoha the proper way?”

Judging by the bewildered faces, they had not. Although Sasuke does notice Ino smiling at that, even if it is secretly, and only for a moment. She’s no longer the fawning idiot, which is a relief, since it never suited either her or Sakura. She’s much better off as a clan head and kunoichi than a doting wife, though it’s not as if Sasuke gives a damn.

“Look,” Sasuke says impatiently, “I’m not here to make nice and pander to your delusions of self-importance, but I’m not here to sabotage Konoha either. My interests are in the restoration of my clan and elimination of the kind of corruption that got my clan slaughtered to begin with.”

It would seem the council had oh-so-casually forgotten the Uchiha massacre, and while Sasuke carries no illusions about the council members citing the planned coup as justification, it still serves his purposes to remind them that Konoha is not the shining beacon they purport it to be.

“Maa, in any case, the council doesn’t have the power to do anything about this. Sasuke-kun is here to stay.”

That takes a moment to sink in, and Hiashi still looks murderous and like he might spend the night digging through scrolls to attempt to find a loophole. But the matter closes, and Chouza speaks up to ask “If this meeting isn’t about Uchiha-sama,” Sasuke raises his eyebrows at the honorific, but then the Akimichis are known for their kindness, among other things. “Then what is the objective of this council session, Hokage-sama?”

Kakashi’s eye crinkles in a smile and he says simply “Why, it’s a meet and greet. Get to know your fellow councilors, now that we’ve fully assembled, and to meet me, now that I’m Hokage and all. So I guess I’ll start. My name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes and dislikes...”

The first act of the new council is to abruptly and loudly end the council meeting right then and there. Sasuke has to suppress a laugh the entire time. Hiashi looks furious to the point of wonder at whether he might actually make an attempt at the Hokage’s life.

Sasuke honestly cannot figure out how this village is still standing. Hamsters running on hamster wheels, everywhere he looks.


	9. Chapter 9

Sakura senses a familiar chakra the moment she walks out of the hospital, and she stops, turns, and looks up.

“Naruto?”

Naruto’s head pops over the edge of the hospital roof—what is he _doing_ up there?—and he waves and says “Hi, Sakura-chan!”

“What are you doing?” Sakura shouts up at him, but he just pulls his head back over the edge and doesn’t answer. Sakura’s not about to leave it at that, though, and walks up the side of the hospital building—you’re really not supposed to, but considering this is a ninja village, no one tends to notice anyway—and hops up on the roof. Naruto is stretched out on his back on a large metal utility box, hand behind his head as he gazes up at the sky. The moon is nearly full tonight, and it lines Naruto with white light.

He looks incredibly peaceful, and it throws her a bit because she realizes this is the first time since the war—since a long time ago—that she’s seen Naruto so carefree.

“Were you waiting for me?”

Naruto picks his head up to look at her, but then settles back down a moment later. “Ah, no. Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to be up here, but I was just thinking.”

She almost says ‘You? Thinking?’ but this moment seems a lot more fragile than it should be, and she doesn’t want to risk it. She finds a space to settle down beside him, sitting instead of lying down, but she tilts her head back to look up at the moon.

“What are you thinking about?”

She feels Naruto shift beside her, until the outset of his hip is just barely touching her thigh. “Stuff.”

She blows out an impatient breath. “Naruto.”

Naruto huffs out a short laugh and then says “Just. I dunno. Growing up, I guess. It’s stupid.”

Sakura hums. She’s not so sure it is stupid. Naruto doesn’t seem to think it is, and she’s learned by now that Naruto isn’t as dumb as everyone pretends he is.

“Just. We’ve all got our own things now, y’know? Like you’ve got the hospital and I’ve got this thing doing all Kaka-sensei’s paperwork and some idiot decided to put Sasuke on the council and it’s just really weird. We’re still a team, but we’re not.”

“Yeah,” Sakura agrees quietly. “It is really different from our genin days, huh? Or I guess only _my_ genin days.”

“Shut up!” Naruto says playfully. “There’s gotta be a war promotion soon, Kakashi promised.”

Sakura smiles knowingly.

“But like, even if we’re not a team anymore, I still kinda wanna be a team.” Naruto pauses. “Is that weird?”

Sakura shakes her head, though she’s not sure if Naruto can actually see it from his angle. “No, I don’t think so. We went through a lot to keep our team together. It’d be stupid to let it fall apart now. Team 7 friendship forever, or something.” She scrunches up her nose. “Now _that_ sounds weird.”

Naruto laughs, and like always, it’s so bright it warms Sakura from the inside out. “Hell yeah! Team 7 solidarity.”

Sakura manages to mostly control her surprise that Naruto knows that word, but then she says “Most of Team 7, anyway.”

“What d’you mean?”

Sakura glances back at Naruto, tilting his head forward to frown in her direction. “Sai?” she prompts.

Naruto’s face turns horror-struck. “Oh man, I _totally_ forgot Sai existed! Shit. Do you think he noticed?”

Sakura grins mischievously but says “I doubt it. He’s been busy.”

“Doing what?”

Sakura creases her eyebrows together. “Courting Shino.”

Naruto pushes himself up onto his elbow, studying Sakura’s profile from slightly behind her. _“Shino?”_

“Yeah, I don’t know either,” Sakura says. She crosses her legs primly and leans easily back on her outstretched arms.

“Well duh, we all know Sai swings that way, but there’s no way Shino’s into guys. He isn’t, is he?”

Actually, Sakura doesn’t know all that much about Shino, besides the gross bugs and the speech pattern that seems to be a clan thing, as well. He’s just so...unnoticeable. It’s not like Sakura’s ever seen him attempt dating, or show any interest in anyone like that. So she wouldn’t really know who he’s into or not. Until she learned about Sai’s ‘crush’, she’d never even thought about it. But apparently Sai’s advances have been well-met, at least judging by the vast amounts of time the two are spending together, secluded in the woods doing gods know what. Sai’s started painting bugs almost exclusively. It’s kind of creepy.

“Who knows,” Sakura says distantly. Naruto seems to be thinking along the same line as her because he shudders and lays himself back down, hand behind his head.

“Hey, do you think this means they’re gonna start dressing normal now? ‘Cause if Shino wears too much clothing and Sai doesn’t wear enough, they should cancel each other out.”

Sakura laughs at the simplistic logic, but admits it’s an amusing thought. She’s not sure how much more of Shino she wants to see, given the bugs thing, but Sai could certainly do with a bit more covering up. That outfit just isn’t proper for a ninja.

Naruto lets out a breath and says “Man, that’s weird. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be able to look at them the same way.”

Sakura feels her chest constrict at that, because Naruto isn’t like this. At least, he’s never been like that before, and she doubts she could’ve missed something so important about his character after all this time.

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Naruto,” she says carefully, hoping it’s some sort of miscommunication. She’s not eager to find out her teammate has been hiding something like this from her all along. “Especially for a shinobi,” she adds. There’s still stigma, of course—the civilian mindset is a hard one to break from, she would know—but it’s not a death sentence anymore.

“What?” Naruto squeaks, “No, no! That’s not what I meant. I wouldn’t—I just meant ‘cause it’s Shino and Sai. _Shino and Sai,_ Sakura. It’s fucking weird.”

Sakura laughs, a little thread of relief weaving through her thoughts. “Yeah, it’s pretty strange. Sai’s been painting all sorts of weird bugs lately. And I thought the swamp paintings were gross.”

“Ew,” Naruto says after a beat, and Sakura hums in agreement. After Sai’s disastrous and brief attempt at courting Ino, Sakura thinks it’s probably good he’s found someone else to focus his affections on. Sai needs human contact to stay on an even keel. Though prolonged interaction with Shino....

Naruto seems strangely quiet, and Sakura turns to glance back at him only to find he’s watching her openly. She feels her cheeks flush, but the moonlight washes it out.

“You know I’m not like that, right?” Naruto asks softly.

Sakura has to parse that out, not entirely following the thread of conversation, but she figures there’s only one thing he could mean. “Not gay? I know.”

Naruto opens and closes his mouth, like he’s stuck on the words, and then says quickly, “No, I meant—Um. Just. Never mind.”

It’s strange for Naruto to back off like this. He’s usually one to shove his foot in his mouth and then try to tug it free later before he chokes to death. He almost never backs off like this. It doesn’t suit him.

“What? Tell me.”

He shakes his head and breaks eye contact, looking out at the sky to the left, away from her. “It’s nothing.”

Sakura places her hand on his knee, curling her fingers around the thin layer of fabric and waiting until Naruto looks back at her. “Team, remember?” She says.

Naruto studies her for a second and then a grin breaks over his face, but it looks...off, somehow. “Yeah, you’re right,” Naruto says with a soft laugh, “Team. That’s why. Of course it’s why.”

“What?” Sakura asks, confused, and her fingers twitch against his knee. “Why what?”

“Sasuke,” Naruto blurts, tearing his eyes away from her again and glancing back into the open sky. The moonlight makes his eyes look bluer than ever, almost like they’re glowing. “I was just thinking—I brought him back because he’s team, and ‘cause I promised you and you’re team. I don’t know why I....”

Sakura can tell there’s something itching at Naruto’s brain, and it’s the reason he seems so worked up right now. Sakura doesn’t know how she thought he looked carefree, because she was wrong. She can see it now—the tension in his shoulders, the crease between his eyebrows that never seems to go away. There’s something on his mind, bothering him, and he’s trying to work through it by himself. And he shouldn’t have to do that. That’s why he has her. And Sasuke. And all his friends. His precious people. So he wouldn’t have to do things alone anymore.

“You know I still love him,” Sakura says casually, drawing her hand away from his knee and lacing her fingers in her lap. She tilts her head back to look up at the night sky, the same one Naruto is looking at.

“I know,” Naruto says.

“And what I said in the Land of Iron. Not about Sasuke, but—”

“I know,” Naruto repeats, his voice even quieter.

“I meant it,” Sakura says firmly.

“Yeah,” Naruto breathes, “Yeah. Just—Differently.”

There it is, that word again. Sakura hums, not entirely sure why Naruto seems to be so convinced that ‘different’ applies to any of this. Because while it’s technically true—she loves them both, in different ways and for different reasons—she knows that Naruto hears the word as something else; something she doesn’t mean. Not like he thinks.

“Back in Swamps,” she says suddenly, “You said it was different. Do you remember? About Sasuke. Having him back. You said it was different ‘for me’.”

“Yeah,” Naruto says hesitantly, like he’s a little confused, “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Why did you say that?”

“What?”

“Why is it different _for me?”_

“‘Cause you love him,” Naruto answers simply.

“Yes,” Sakura says, painstakingly patient, “But so do you.”

Naruto pauses at that, and then huffs and says “Well, duh. He’s one of my precious people. But that’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant,” Sakura says curtly, and barely manages to keep it from sounding like she’s angry with him. Because she’s not—not really. She’s just...tired. Tired of Naruto pretending, of herself pretending. She’s tired of everyone lying to themselves.

There’s a brief silence, the wind blowing softly through the young trees, still just barely years old, newly planted after the invasion blew the old trees away. Just about everything in Konoha is new—new trees, new buildings, new Hokage, new training grounds, even a lot of new people, brought in to help rebuild and never left. She wonders, in a year’s time—in ten years’ time—how many people will remember the old Konoha. If she’ll remember the old Konoha, after living in the new one for so long.

She’s not sure she will, but she also thinks that might not be such a bad thing. Konoha needed a fresh start. So did she. Maybe they’re all just...turning over a new leaf.

“Sorry, Sakura-chan,” Naruto says bashfully, “I don’t really know what you’re saying.”

Sakura sighs and leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I’m saying it’s not different. How we feel about him. It’s the same.”

“W-what,” Naruto fumbles. “No, that’s not— We both love him but you’re _in love_ with him.”

“Yes. I am.”

“Yeah, and I’m—”

“So are you.”

“Sakura, what the hell are you talking abou-”

“Naruto,” she cuts him off. Her tone is rigid and unrelenting, because as much as she wishes she could be gentle about this, she’s not sure how long they have before this—whatever this is—tears them apart. So if laying it all out in the open stops that from happening and saves them, she’ll do whatever she has to.

Still, she’s not heartless, and she knows firsthand how hard this kind of thing can be. Admitting something like this to yourself. So she tacks on “It’s okay,” as softly as she can manage. “It’s okay.”

Naruto is entirely silent—a feat she’s a little surprised he can manage—and unnaturally still. They still aren’t looking at each other. Sakura is staring blankly in front of her, at the empty roof of the hospital and Konoha beyond. Naruto is presumably still staring up at the sky, although she won’t look behind to check. She doesn’t want to break this moment until Naruto is ready for it to break. Because she’s doing this for him. For all of them. She’s just— She’s scared.

She’s scared that she’s going to lose them. Again. She’s already lost both of them before, with Sasuke defecting and Naruto nearly dying with her hand inside his chest and—

She can’t do that again. She didn’t go through all that bringing them back to Konoha alive only to lose them both in a different, slower way.

She’s knows she’s strong—she’s a kunoichi, damn it—but she’s not strong enough to lose them. She resents it, being bound to these two boys, dependent on them like she’s still that scared little girl who didn’t want to cut her hair. But she knows now that true strength is taking the weaknesses you can’t change and winning despite them.

She hears Naruto let out a breath behind her, barely a sound but still something. When he finally speaks, he hardly sounds like Naruto. He sounds small and terrified and it hurts her just hearing it. “I didn’t realize I—” She can hear him lick his lips and swallow, thinking of what to say. “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to stop, I—”

“Then don’t,” Sakura says.

“But you—”

“We both will,” she says. “Okay? He needs people to love him. Plus there’s no reason to waste energy arguing over a dumb boy.” Ino had taught her that much.

“I wouldn’t,” Naruto says quickly, “He’s yours. He’s always been yours.”

“No.” She doesn’t want to get into how Sasuke’s never really been hers. How that’s just been her own delusion, borne of a schoolgirl crush and a healthy amount of willful ignorance. But at the same time, in a different way, he is. “He’s not mine. He’s ours. He’s _team.”_

It takes a second, but Naruto laughs.

Maybe they’re not such an anomaly after all.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overly invested in Hinata's storyline, so sue me.
> 
> .

Naruto and Sasuke are training—taijutsu only, since they’re still waiting on the prosthetics, and since the sensor ninjas tend to get kind of antsy when they feel Sasuke’s chakra spiking in the village. The reason they’re not training in an actual _training ground_ is because the first four training grounds they went to were all occupied by academy students. Apparently there’s some sort of training field trip thing today with the academy, and Iruka-sensei has been running around herding six-year-olds into the training grounds.

They _tried_ training in a corner of one of the fields, but then the academy students got so distracted that they refused to listen to a word Iruka was saying, and Iruka came over to whack them both upside the head and tell them to spar somewhere else.

So now they’re racing through the more abandoned streets, flash steps abound, occasional hits landing and then gone a second later. Sasuke is still a bit faster than him—the bastard!—but Naruto’s totally got the whole prankster thing going for him, and Sasuke technically never said anything about traps. Now if he could just get away long enough to set one....

He’s debating if he could stay still long enough for sage mode, just to see how Sasuke does against frog-fu, but before he can even think about it he has to jump a couple of streets over to avoid Sasuke’s cyclone kick and his ears catch on shouting before he registers the chakra signatures flaring.

Sasuke jumps into view, arm outstretched in a punch, but he pulls up short and lands silently next to Naruto instead. Naruto spares a glance, and then they both nod and jump over the next building so they can see where all the noise and chakra is coming from.

They settle on the edge of the roof overlooking a plaza that hasn’t been fully used yet, since they’re still in the process of building half the shops around here. When it’s done it should be a pretty neat place, with benches and plants and shops on all sides, but until it gets going it’s just a giant square of dirt. They haven’t even laid cobblestones yet.

In the middle are two figures, clearly squaring off, and surrounded by a handful of onlookers. When Naruto actually bothers to look at who it is though, he sucks in air and says “Shit.”

“Hm?” Sasuke questions.

“That’s Hinata,” Naruto says, and without warning he jumps from the roof to come to land right behind Akamaru’s familiar form. Sasuke is right on his heels, muttering under his breath, but Naruto ignores him and steps up to Kiba, asking “What the hell’s going on?”

They’re a good twenty twenty paces back from Hinata, who’s focused all her energy on Hiashi, standing across from her like they’re about to start a sparring match. Shino is here too, along with Kurenai, a couple of the Hyuuga clan members, Sai—probably came with Shino—and a random civilian teenager.

Kiba shakes his head. Hinata and Hiashi aren’t saying anything, just staring tersely at each other, but Hinata is crouched low like she’s ready to strike, and Hiashi is on guard. “Hiashi came by to talk to Hinata about the Hyuuga again, but instead of _asking_ he started saying all this stuff about duty and adulthood and—man, I don’t know, but I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen Hinata this angry. She yelled so loud it made our ears hurt!” Akamaru whimpers beside Kiba, and Kiba rests a comforting hand on his head, scratching behind his ear.

“Shit,” Naruto mutters again, watching the two Hyuuga carefully. Sasuke steps up closer behind Naruto and asks “Are they planning to fight?”

It’s a show of how distracted Kiba is that he answers Sasuke without giving him grief first. “I don’t know, man, Hinata’s _pissed.”_

“Hinata, let’s talk about this as adults,” Hiashi says regally, and his hands are folded politely in front of him.

“I don’t believe there is anything to talk about, _father._ ” Hinata sounds like a totally different person, and for a moment Naruto wonders if she’s channeling Neji from beyond the grave. Or maybe just Neji’s backbone. “I have said my piece.”

“What you have said is that you are clearly still too immature to understand the ramifications of your refusal to return to the clan.”

“Perhaps you should have considered these ramifications when you forced me out of the clan.” Naruto winces in sympathy. That’s a pretty fair point, even if Naruto can recognize the verbal slap it is.

“I did no such thing,” Hiashi says. He takes a threatening step forward. “I simply placed you where I believed you would receive more useful tutelage, to overcome your inadequacies.”

“Which I have overcome,” Hinata snaps, “And I thank you for that, because my removal from the clan was a blessing disguised as a curse. I am much more suited to this than whatever you would see fit to have me do with the Hyuuga.”

“Nonsense,” Hiashi says flippantly, “You are a main branch member, you were born to lead the next generation of Hyuuga.”

“I was _born,”_ Hinata says acidly, “to choose my own fate. And I choose this team.”

Kiba looks like he’s gonna cry from happiness. Naruto would make fun of him but he’s afraid of what Akamaru might do to him if he breaks Kiba’s bubble.

Hiashi scoffs. “Genin teams are little more than temporary playmates, assigned based on the notion that most teams will inevitably move on and fall apart within a couple years.” Naruto bristles at that, clenching his hand into a fist and keeping himself from launching into the middle of this to defend Hinata’s honor. She clearly doesn’t need his help, anyway.

“You are not a genin anymore, it’s not proper for you to still be playing around with—”

“This is hardly _play,”_ Hinata all-but-yells, and her ready fists burst into blue. Naruto literally steps back in shock.

“Twin lions?” Naruto squeaks. “Already? They’re not even fighting yet!”

Sasuke snorts. “They are now.”

Hinata means business. Hell, Hinata might actually _kill_ Hiashi.

“Shit, this is bad,” Kiba mumbles, but doesn’t move to intercept.

“Do you intend to _fight me?”_ Hiashi says with a well-masked sneer. Naruto narrows his eyes. Those noble clans are always so weird and stuck-up about emotions and things.

“If I must,” Hinata says, a note quieter. She’s deadly calm, too, despite the chakra swirling around her fists.

Hiashi considers her for a moment, and then turns to say something to the Hyuuga clan members with him. Then he turns back to Hinata and adopts a fighting stance—the typical Hyuuga pose—and says “Very well. I will not kill you.”

“That is a mistake,” Hinata says and seamlessly launches into an attack.

They’re dancing around each other lightning-fast, chakra bursts coming from their hands, byakugan activated. It’s strangely beautiful, for a spar (or a fight, really) but Naruto’s seen enough Hyuuga fights that he knows what to watch for—which hits land the strongest.

For a while they’re pretty evenly matched, the sounds of chakra bursting from their hands and two tones of “Hah!” bouncing off the unfinished buildings.

“Shouldn’t we stop them or something?” Naruto asks dumbly, and Kiba just shoots a look sideways, eyes wide.

“No way! Are you suicidal?”

Sasuke snorts behind them, and Kiba shifts his eyes from Naruto to Sasuke, then back to Hinata and Hiashi.

Naruto will admit, he doesn’t really know what to do in this kinda situation. He doesn’t like that Hinata is having problems with her father, but her problems seem like they have a pretty good reason, and it’s not like Naruto’s ever had a clan or a father to worry about. (The war was different, plus his father was technically undead and missed the last 17 years of his life.) Also, Kiba’s right. Trying to get between them probably wouldn’t end well for him.

Clan politics are just really, really confusing. The Hyuuga especially. Naruto doesn’t get how the whole ‘main house’ ‘branch house’ thing got started anyway, or why the Hyuuga kicked Hinata out for being weak when the main house members don’t even fight to begin with. They train like hell and then they sit around doing weird noblemen things like sipping tea and giving each other backhanded compliments. At least, that’s what Naruto’s gathered from the contact he’s had with the Hyuuga and other noble clans, back when he was traveling with Jiraiya.

None of it really makes any sense. But clans get all these special rules and permissions and stuff for a reason, so Naruto figures he’ll wind up learning about it before Kakashi lets him have the hat. And then he can just beat the stupid out of it if he wants to.

Naruto’s not really sure if this falls under one of those special clan rules, and if they’re not supposed to interfere because of some weird old statute, but he can live with that because Hinata is gonna kick ass anyway.

Just in time to prove his point, Hinata plants a couple of fists into Hiashi’s chest and he gasps for air, feet skidding over the dirt. But Hinata doesn’t give him time to recover, just launches forward, fists flaming in front of her. But then Hiashi spins, a _kaiten_ erupting around him, even though it looks different than Neji’s. Hinata slams into the rotating wall of chakra and goes flying back, but she lands on her feet, panting but still in a fighting stance.

Hiashi, when he stops spinning, seems a little blown away by the fact that he had to use a move like that against his daughter, but the war made all of them a lot stronger, and Hinata’s been training like crazy ever since the end of it. He’s not sure _why,_ but everyone had their own way of dealing with the war. Ino turned into a workaholic. Chouji ate nothing but vegetables for a full week until Lee glomped all over him, crying, and begged him to stop before his ‘glorious and youthful rotundness diminished’. Lee started crying a lot more, but Naruto’s not sure if this is really all that weird for Lee. Tenten basically dropped off the map, though there are rumors she took some top-secret long-term mission or joined ANBU or something.

Maybe this is just Dealing With The War, Hinata-style. Train like a maniac, grow a steel-plated backbone, and beat up your father. It’s not really that much more ridiculous than all the other stuff he’s seen. It’s just weird ‘cause it’s Hinata.

“I will not surrender,” Hinata says calmly. Hiashi reacts by darting forward, palms flat and outstretched. Hinata parries, no twin lions this time, and suddenly they’re just duking it out with good old-fashioned classical Hyuuga clan sparring techniques.

It’s another case where they’re pretty evenly matched, but Hiashi starts to slow down, maybe a sign of his age or maybe ‘cause he’s skimped on training or maybe ‘cause Hinata’s just that good. But either way, he takes a couple of hits, temporarily loses the use of his left arm after a few palm-strikes from Hinata, and then it’s all over in an instant, Hinata shoving both palms into his gut and sending him into a small crater in the ground, completely immobilized.

Hinata is panting and looking down at him viciously, her fists clenched at her sides, but her voice sounds crazy calm but for catching her breath. “I hereby officially renege my status as a Hyuuga clan member. I will not change my mind. This is the path I have chosen, and it would do you well to respect that, father.”

Hiashi struggles into a sitting position and looks up at Hinata hovering over him. The Hyuuga members standing a ways back from him look fretful, like they want to intervene, but Hiashi puts a hand up to them. “I had hoped it would not come to this, Hinata, but I can and will have the council hold you—your entire _team_ if I must _—_ in contempt, with or without the Hokage’s approval. You will not be allowed to operate as a clan member or a Konoha ninja, you will be sealed and _imprisoned—”_

“You may try,” Hinata says cooly, and then she gives Hiashi one last look, says “Goodbye, father,” and turns on her heel to walk straight toward their little group of onlookers. The teenaged civilian took off sometime around when the ground started breaking, so now it’s just the rest of Team 8, them, and Sai. The Hyuuga clan members are helping Hiashi up—he’s probably lost too many chakra pathways to manage so well on his own.

“Naruto-kun,” Hinata says, surprised, the moment she sets her eyes on him. “I did not see you arrive.”

“You were—ah—busy,” Naruto says with a nervous laugh, rubbing at the back of his head.

“I see,” Hinata says, “Sasuke-kun, it is nice to see you as well.”

Sasuke nods and hums awkwardly in response, but Naruto totally knows he’s impressed by Hinata’s mad skills, even if he won’t say so.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay, I was actually going to ask my team to join me on an extended training trip. I think perhaps it might be better if I’m—um—away from the village for a while.” Without pausing for their reactions, she turns to Kiba and Shino, Kurenai hovering in the background. “Shino, Kiba, Akamaru, would you care to join me?”

Akamaru yips right away, and Kiba’s practically panting all over Hinata so he nods. He’s got actual stars in his eyes, it’s a little crazy to watch, especially since Naruto’s got no idea when that happened. Shino agrees quietly, and Sai steps forward, up next to Shino, and politely inclines his head before asking “May I perhaps join you as well? I find myself missing the dynamics of a team.”

Naruto shoots Sai a glare, mostly just ‘cause he hasn’t seen Sai in at least a week and now they’re finally in the same place and Sai is too busy trying to join Team 8 to pay him and Sasuke any mind. Traitor. (Then again, maybe Naruto shouldn’t be the one to talk when he kinda forgot about Sai.)

“Ah, I would like that, Sai-kun,” Hinata says pleasantly, and Sai offers her a smile. (What the hell?! Team jumper!)

Hinata turns to Kurenai and they share a nod before Hinata says “Could you please inform the proper channels that we are away on a training trip and will return within the time limit, Kurenai-sensei?”

“Of course,” she says warmly, with a secretive smile. “I wouldn’t want my students branded as missing-nin.”

Naruto narrows his eyes at Kurenai, because that was definitely a sneaky dig at Sasuke, though Naruto’s not sure why Kurenai’s making it since she’s usually so nice.

But Hinata just nods, gathers her team like a pack alpha, and gives them all a final look before leaping onto the roof across the courtyard, headed toward the front gates while Hiashi looks on helplessly.

The dust is just beginning to settle when Hiashi finally gathers himself and primly brushes off, cool and composed once again. He makes his way toward Naruto, Sasuke, and Kurenai, standing in a little cluster across the courtyard, and with Hiashi’s two bodyguards—Naruto’s not sure that’s who they actually are, but they’re branch members and they look like they’re trying to look intimidating—the groups are evenly matched.

“Yuuhi-san,” Hiashi nods toward Kurenai, and his voice is cold and detached, all noble again. Naruto gets the feeling there’s some stuff going on between Kurenai and Hiashi, but again, all this clan stuff is just really confusing. “I see you’ve been doing a fair bit more than simply training my daughter.”

Naruto’s gotta give it to Kurenai—she doesn’t even flinch. She just raises her eyebrows and lets a smirk play at the corner of her mouth, and her red eyes are glinting. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But surely a genjutsu specialist such as yourself would find it remarkably easy to...influence someone toward certain outcomes you find desirable.”

Naruto’s jaw drops before he remembers the company he’s keeping and snaps it back up. Is Hiashi really saying that outright? People don’t just go around accusing other ninjas from the same village of—of mind control. Maybe that shit was okay in Sound but this is Konoha, not Orochimaru’s creepy experiment nation.

“If you’re suggesting I committed treason—”

“The council would not stand for a noble daughter of the Hyuuga—”

Sasuke cuts in from behind Naruto, stepping up beside him so he’s directly in Hiashi’s line of sight, and his lips are curved up in the barest smile, like he’s about to open his mouth and tear Hiashi apart with his teeth alone. “I think the _council,”_ he pauses, his hand casually in his pocket as he takes a few more steps forward, until he’s almost between Kurenai and Hiashi, “would be interested to hear about today.”

“Fights between noble clan members are officially protected by—”

“Oh, I’m aware of that,” Sasuke says icily, and Naruto feels a shiver shake his shoulders. “Still, I think the outcome was rather interesting, don’t you? A seasoned clan head such as yourself being defeated by your chunin daughter...” Sasuke clicks his tongue. Hiashi narrows his eyes. “Tell me, Hyuuga,” Sasuke says, leaving off the honorific on purpose, “have you always spoken about the council like it is yours to wield? Because last I checked, my vote is as equal as yours.”

“Your vote is the opinion of a traitor,” Hiashi replies.

“It is the opinion of the ninja who killed Danzo,” Sasuke says firmly, “Who was, as I recall, the last person to attempt to make sweeping decisions regarding Konoha shinobi, outside the purview of the other councilors and the Hokage.”

Hiashi pales at this, though Naruto’s not entirely sure he follows. How did Danzo wind up coming into this conversation? Like yeah, that’s why Sasuke’s considered a traitor or whatever, but that was only one of the reasons. Not that Naruto wants to like, remind everyone of the many, _many_ ways that Sasuke fucked up since they were just barely convinced to let him walk free and all. But still, Naruto doesn’t get the connection.

But Hiashi must, because Sasuke just says, “Are you a betting man, Hyuuga? Because I’m willing to make a wager that this new council is rather more inclined to side with a war hero than an old nobleman.” Then the two of them just glare it out, and Sasuke wins (because he _always_ wins at glaring) and Hiashi makes his excuses and scampers off looking like a dog with its tail between its legs. Naruto kind of wants to cheer at how totally awesome that was, even if he doesn’t get all of it. He just knows that Sasuke beat Hiashi in some sort of diplomatic spar, and it was _hella cool._

“I see you are as intimidating a politician as you are a shinobi,” Kurenai says, smiling over at Sasuke in a knowing way. Sasuke is void of expression, studying Kurenai cooly and calculatingly.

“I don’t intend to let Konoha repeat its mistakes and disassemble the new world order my generation has started to build.”

Naruto blinks back and forth between the two of them. There’s definitely something more going on here, like they’re having a completely different conversation, but Naruto’s always been too straightforward for all those hidden meanings so he doesn’t think he gets it.

“It’s good to see such dedication to this village and its citizens. A fine quality for a councilor to have, I think.”

Sasuke narrows his eyes at Kurenai, but she just laughs lightly and waves a hand, saying “Sorry, but I’ve just hired a new babysitter I don’t quite trust yet, so I should be getting back. Good to see you, Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun.” Then she leaps onto the nearest roof and disappears into the heart of the city. Sasuke watches after her warily, but seems to relax once she’s well and truly gone, her chakra signature fading into the distance.

“What was _that_ about?” Naruto asks blankly.

“I could ask you the same,” Sasuke replies, and glances back at the courtyard. There are craters in the ground and a couple sizable dents in the walls of unfinished storefronts. Still, considering two top-notch shinobi had a bit of a showdown, it’s in remarkably good shape. The builders in hidden villages are used to this sort of thing. They’ll probably have it all patched up in an afternoon.

Naruto shrugs and they both silently agree training is over for the day, so they pick a direction that’s vaguely toward town and walk slowly down the streets. Naruto knows the only reason they’re not roof-jumping to get there faster is because Sasuke has something on his mind, and he wants to talk about it but he’s hoping Naruto will come up with some sort of random conversation topic that he can twist around to what he wants to talk about. That way the whole thing seems like it was Naruto’s idea, and Sasuke doesn’t give away the fact that he actually wants to socialize.

Because Naruto is a kind and giving soul, he acquiesces. “So Kurenai-sensei seems like she forgives you.”

Sasuke snorts, but that’s something. “Motherhood has made her soft.”

“Hey, asshole, count your blessings.”

Sasuke is silent in the way that means he doesn’t think Kurenai forgiving him is a ‘blessing’ exactly, but Naruto wins some and loses some, so whatever.

“Kurenai-sensei is a smart lady,” Naruto adds on, because he feels like Sasuke is trying to insult Kurenai, which is just not cool. Especially not when she’s one of the few not treating Sasuke like dog poop. “She trained Hinata, after all.”

Sasuke hums in disbelief. “Is that why Hinata likes her? I always figured it was because she’s _soft._ Like I said.”

Naruto rolls his eyes. “People can be soft and smart at the same time, idiot.”

“Not in my experience,” Sasuke mumbles.

“Well your experience is dumb,” Naruto shoots back. There’s a brief silence, and then Sasuke makes a breathy sound kind of like laughter.

“Nice comeback, idiot.”

Naruto tries to swipe at him, missing by a couple inches as Sasuke smoothly dodges. This entire thing is unfair.

“Hinata’s changed,” Sasuke says without prompting, which means this is close to what he wants to talk about. Score!

“Well duh,” Naruto says. “She’s a badass now.”

Sasuke hums exaggeratedly, then says “Probably because she stopped fawning over you.”

“Hey!” Naruto argues, just out of habit, and then kind of shrugs. “After the war she just started acting really...weird.”

Sasuke snorts. “Weird how?”

“I dunno, just weird. Like avoiding me and making up excuses to end the conversation and stuff like that.”

There’s a pause. “Newsflash, moron. That’s just how she is.”

Naruto shakes his head, even though he’s pretty sure Sasuke is refusing to even look his direction. “No, it was different than before. I guess I changed. And she changed. But it’s okay.”

“What, lost interest now that she’s not a demure damsel in distress anymore?”

“No way!” Naruto says, outraged. “That’s not—You’re totally wrong. I like her more now. Er, wait. Not _like_ like her, just, uh—”

“We’re not academy first-years,” Sasuke says flatly, a little annoyed, but when _isn’t_ he annoyed?

“Hinata’s a friend,” Naruto powers through, “She’s one of my precious people and she’s a friend, and I don’t wanna mess that up or whatever, since we’re both different. ‘Sides, I’ve got someone else I—well...”

“Pfft,” Sasuke kicks at the dirt beneath their feet and then starts walking a little quicker, not bothering to wait for Naruto to catch up. “I don’t give a shit.”

“Like I’d ever tell _you,”_ Naruto says, sticking his tongue out at the back of Sasuke’s head and then walking a little faster to keep pace at his side again. They’re finally getting back into the fully finished part of town, which means there are people around. There’s no way Konoha was this big before Pain blew it up, but Naruto kind of likes the expansion. Konoha’s turning into a full-on city now, which only helps the village and its people as a whole. Plus Sakura seems pretty stoked about the potential shopping district.

Sasuke doesn’t say anything else, which means that whatever information he wanted to get from this conversation, he already got. Not that Naruto has any idea what it is, since Sasuke is a cryptic bastard. But if it’s important, it’ll come up again. And then Naruto can figure it out.

“Besides,” Naruto says casually, shoving his hand into his pocket. “Kiba’s got a thing for Hinata now.”

Sasuke makes a sound that’s almost a laugh. “Kiba is going to die.”

Naruto nods in solemn agreement. Kiba is definitely gonna die.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how short this chapter is, but there's a reason.
> 
> That reason being that the next chapter is 7,500 words. And there was just no good way to divide it up. And it's gonna be awesome (I hope!)
> 
> .

Sasuke can’t find any justification for why he’s spending so much time with Sakura and Naruto.

Team 7 isn’t a team anymore, no matter what the official roster says. They were barely a team to begin with. The other genin teams had spent years together after Sasuke had left for Sound. They put down roots and built memories and all that other flowery shit genin teams do when they’re not catching cats.

Sakura’s crush and Naruto’s ridiculous obsession aside, there’s nothing holding them together. He gained a position on the council in his own right, and his clan name still has influence. He has no reason for spending time with them. They brought him back to Konoha and their mission is complete, so the fact that they’re willingly spending time together now is puzzling.

But whatever fantasies they may be building inside their heads, there’s no place for him in them. They’re war heroes, the pride of Konoha, the future cornerstones of the village. Sasuke is an outlier. He can never be like them—not that he has any desire to be—and they would be better off with some distance.

He can’t leave Konoha permanently—Sakura and Naruto have made it abundantly clear that, should he try, he will be hunted down and dragged back (in one piece if he’s lucky.) But he needs something to do besides sit quietly in penance as the council seems to think he should. He’s always favored revenge over penance, action over theory, and as far as he’s concerned, he has nothing to apologize for. Not to the council, not to Konoha.

The only ones deserving of an apology are Naruto and Sakura, and they don’t appear to want one. He doesn’t intend to wait around waiting for them to need something from him. He needs his own agency, and he needs it to be separate from his past—from Team 7, and the Uchiha massacre, and the war.

Everyone seems to think that the only possible reason he could seek private council with Kakashi is to assassinate him. But skilled as the Hokage’s ANBU guard may be, Sasuke is and always will be better. It’s not sanctioned by any means, but he slips past everyone into the Hokage’s office, thinking for a moment that even Kakashi has failed to sense him in the shadowed corner.

“Yo,” he says, giving Sasuke a lazy finger-wave from behind his desk. He’s reading another dirty novel, and Sasuke resists the urge to roll his eyes because he has something he wants from him.

“Kakashi,” Sasuke says, stepping forward, hand shoved into his pocket and leaning back, projecting ease.

“I have a title now, you know,” Kakashi says, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I heard, _Kakashi.”_

Kakashi snaps his book shut and hides it away in his desk. “What can I help my adorable student with today?”

“Dissolve Team 7.”

If Kakashi is surprised, he doesn’t let it show, but Sasuke had expected as much. Either way, he’s calm when he leans a bit farther back in his chair and asks “Maa, why would I want to do that? You’ve only just been reunited.”

He says ‘only just’ even though it was months ago. They hadn’t been taking any missions during that time, with Sasuke and Naruto spending a long time in the hospital, and then weeks of Sasuke’s trials. But Kakashi and him are both aware that Team 7 has always been more than just a genin team, and their official ‘reinstatement’ had happened the moment he and Naruto had been dragged back to Konoha.

Sasuke lifts one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “We’ve outlived our usefulness as a team. Sakura’s talents are better off servicing the hospital, Naruto has shifted to a more political track, and my skills are...specialized.” His skills are in bloodshed and killing. Politics aside, he has no right to forget that.

Kakashi considers him for a moment, and only an idiot would mistake the careless mask he’s affecting for thoughtlessness. Kakashi has always been more calculating and manipulative than anyone gave him credit for. Had Sasuke’s clan not met the fate it had, Kakashi would have melded seamlessly in with them, regardless of the origins of his sharingan.

“What would you propose?”

“Solo missions,” Sasuke answers. It’s the most sensible decision. He’s trained as an assassin, and he’s always worked better alone. Even when he was a naive genin, Kakashi had understood that Sasuke was biding his time as part of a team because it was expected of him. He was never meant to remain a part of one. His...attachment to Team 7 doesn’t negate the fact that as a ninja, he’s better utilized as a sharp point, not a blunt-edged blow.

Suddenly, Kakashi deflates, letting out a sigh and slumping his shoulders back. “I thought you knew better by now, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke narrows his eyes.

“The council doesn’t trust you not to run again.” Sasuke opens his mouth to argue, but Kakashi’s eyes harden and he continues “Nor do I.”

Sasuke slumps back, losing some of his edge, and it’s a fatal mistake.

“You don’t do well on your own, Sasuke.”

“I disagree.”

Kakashi laughs softly. “Maa, of course you do. But sometimes, even possessing the sharingan does not mean you can _see.”_

Sasuke huffs. “I’m not here for philosophy, Kakashi. I’m here for a mission.”

“Alright, then,” Kakashi says, his eye crinkling in the corner again. “I’ve got a new mission for you.”

Sasuke perks up, stands straighter, attempts to show that whatever Kakashi or the council might think, he is more than capable.

“Relax. Find your place in Konoha again. Discover who you are when you’re not a shinobi.”

Sasuke waits for the punchline, and when it doesn’t come, he snaps out “Are you joking?”

“No. And that wasn’t a request, Sasuke. It was a mission, given to you directly by the Hokage. I expect you’ll complete it to the very best of your ability as a Konoha shinobi.”

Sasuke storms out of the office, startling all the passers-by who hadn’t known he’d been in there, to the fading sound of Kakashi’s laughter.

That isn’t a mission, it’s a prison sentence. Whatever Kakashi might think, he has no place here. A seat on a council who thinks he should be dead, in a village that he’s tried to destroy more than once, surrounded by people who will never see him as anything other than a traitor.

He’s seconds from running—could make it out of Fire Country before they even knew he was gone—but somehow, inexplicably, he finds himself headed back toward home. His feet touch down silently on his roof, and it rattles him. He’s never hesitated to run before. He’s never felt tied down to this village, and he’s not entirely sure what’s tying him here now.

Something flashes in the back of his mind—yellow and pink, sky blue and pale green, whisker marks and a small diamond, but he shakes it off. His hands are too bloodied to ever deserve that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated E for the sex. ;)
> 
> Please be gentle, senpai, it's my first time~! /s
> 
> (No but this is my first time writing a threesome, so lemme know how I do, eh?)
> 
> .

The first time Sakura really believes the war is over—well and truly over—is about ten minutes into her birthday party. A _birthday party._ The last birthday Sakura even remembers is Naruto’s, and they’d been trying to stop the world from ending, not eating cake and buying gifts completely unrelated to ninja life. Ino gives her a potted flowering cactus that’s supposed to sit on her windowsill and needs more water than any cactus should. She realizes, a little abruptly, that she’s actually going to be home often enough to water it.

There are thirty people gathered in this room and between them all, they probably know over a thousand ways to kill someone. Having this many assassins in one space, pleasantly tipsy on the spiked punch (courtesy of Naruto,) not trying to kill anyone (save maybe Sasuke, who looks about ready to kill _everyone,)_ is almost unheard of. It’s certainly not something that would’ve happened during the war. Not even before the war, really, when political tensions were as high as they were.

Sakura may have been preoccupied with hair products and boys back then, but the tension permeated the entire village. There was always another war looming on the horizon, so no one ever relaxed enough to go to a birthday party and get a little drunk. Sakura’s pretty sure Kakashi— _the Hokage—_ is flushed pink beneath his mask, because Iruka and Genma have been daring him to steal drinks of the punch over and over until they manage to crack the mystery of drinking with a mask on.

But things have clearly changed. The Shinobi Union is ten nations strong, and even though it’s far from a guarantee, it’s been enough to give Konoha time to focus on the reconstruction, now with the added help of the returning ninjas. (Poor Yamato has been dragged across every square foot of the village, bouncing between one construction site and the next to hurry things along.)

Sakura is insanely grateful. Ino threw this whole thing together, invited everyone—even some of her friends and coworkers from the hospital—and offered up the Yamanaka compound as their celebration space.

There have been birthdays since the war, she’s sure, but for whatever reason hers happened to fall just long enough after the war that everyone was okay with the idea of celebration. Even after they ‘won’, she remembers nothing but weeks of darkness to follow. Weeks of funerals. The lucky ones were those with bodies to bury or cremate, those identified and claimed. There were hundreds more lost out on the battlefields, and Tsunade had to create a task force whose sole purpose was to sort out who was killed in the war, who went missing on the battlefield, and who fled into the outskirts of Fire Country, or left for another continent altogether.

She spent most of that time living in the hospital—the reconstruction wasn’t far enough along to support all the returning ninjas with apartments or houses—and running herself into the ground between treating persistent war injuries and holding vigil in Naruto and Sasuke’s rooms. She envied them their comas, spending two weeks unconscious while Konoha fixed itself around them.

But Konoha blossomed once more, as it always does, and now they’ve finally managed to reach a point where Shikamaru is using his shadow imitation jutsu to cheat at charades and Temari is convincing a gullible Lee that sand is the superior substance for training.

It’s absolutely wonderful, but it’s also absolutely _exhausting._ Ino is playing hostess, which is her one true calling, and since this is Sakura’s party, that means Ino isn’t leaving her alone long enough to breathe. Being bathed in attention on your birthday is all well and good for the first hour or two, but they’re going on five hours and Sakura is dying.

Her attempts at escape have been met with artful counter-attacks on Ino’s part. She’s been lucky enough so far that Ino hasn’t actually noticed her true intentions, just bulldozed over everything until Sakura was right back where she started.

Sakura isn’t as extroverted as Ino, she can’t take hours and hours of conversation and attention like this. Of course, explaining this to Ino is futile, since she’s been attempting to do so almost since she met the girl, and she’s been shut down every time. Ino is too pig-headed to understand or sympathize with her plight.

Sakura gets desperate right around the time Sai shows up with an entire sketchbook of bug paintings to show her, and she clumsily escapes to write an SOS note on a napkin and hand it to Naruto, who uses it to wipe off his mouth and then grins with an ink splotch at the corner of his lips and says “Thanks, Sakura-chan!”

She almost bursts into tears at the sheer absurdity, cursing herself for thinking this would ever work—it’s _Naruto_ —and lets herself get dragged back into the stomach of the beast by Ino the ever-attentive hostess of Sakura’s downfall.

She’s nearly surrendered to her fate when she catches Sasuke and Naruto talking across the room, and then the next thing she knows, Sasuke sidles up next to her, slides his hand along her back to stuff a napkin into her hand, and outright schmoozes Ino. But it works to distract her long enough for Sakura to peek at the napkin, which just says ‘bathroom 5 minutes’, and then she casually uses it to wipe her hands and places it in a crumpled ball in the trash.

The second Sakura returns, Sasuke turns off the charm, dropping the entire facade and extricating himself from the conversation with Ino, who’s stunned enough that Sakura actually offers her comfort in the form of a pat on the shoulder. But Ino is less lovestruck with Sasuke these days, so she bounces back from her brief daze and goes back to making sure Sakura has attention lavished onto her from everyone at all times. (In a way it’s sweet. Ino became insanely possessive of her friends following the war, and when Chouji and Shikamaru aren’t being showered with attention, Sakura usually is. Ino is just trying to make sure Sakura knows how much she’s loved.)

But still, there is such a thing as too much love. So Sakura waits about five minutes, then says “Be right back. Bathroom.” She makes her way to the bathroom in the back, slips in and locks the door behind her. She almost expects to see Sasuke in there, since he’s the one who told her to do this anyway, but then there’s a sharp rap on the window, and three seconds later the window rolls up and Naruto pokes his head up into view.

“Hiya, Sakura-chan,” Naruto says with a cheeky grin. “We’re breaking you out.”

She laughs, bites her lip, and then smoothly makes her way over to the window. Naruto hops down and Sakura swings herself through, landing silently on the ground next to Naruto. Sasuke is at the corner of the corridor they’re in, keeping watch. The Yamanaka compound is relatively well-populated, and half its occupants are mid to high-level ninjas trained in intelligence. But Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke make an elite team, so Sasuke takes on a position as squad leader and gives them the signal to move.

They slip silently through the night, leaving the compound without any hassle. It’s not as if anyone has any reason to be on high alert right now, so as long as they suppress their chakra they’re golden. Sasuke chose the most optimal path leading them out of there unseen, too.

The one benefit of having their entire village blown up is that in the rebuilding process, the civilian urban planners took the time to draw up extremely neat city plans. Everything is divided into sections now. Central Konoha has the Hokage tower, the Division headquarters, the library, any official government buildings, and the Hospital. The North end has all the businesses, with the ninja shops closest to Central and then branching out into a massive shopping district that’s going to be one hell of a cool place to be when it’s finished, especially with the Hokage monument in the background. (Sakura thinks the urban planners were aiming to garner a little bit more tourism revenue, which she can’t exactly blame them for. Hidden Villages aren’t very hidden anymore.)

The West end has the brand-new academy and the mission desk, along with a whole bunch of training areas and gardens and parks where it meets up with the North side. It’s perfect for civilian tourists who want to get a taste of the ninja way of life without actually seeing anything scarier than kids aiming shurikens at trees. Besides, the most advanced shinobi are usually relegated to the training grounds outside the village bounds, so they don’t scare people to death.

The South has the gates to Konoha, and now the steps leading down into the crater of the village, winding through the clan compounds. Sakura thinks it’s some sort of political move that each clan has it’s own level, but she’s not sure what. The Yamanaka compound is on the Eastern side of the steps, about three levels up, and it’s bracketed by the Akimichi compound and the Nara compound, understandably.

They’re currently traveling Eastward, where the compounds are still being built and expanded on, since there’s no one out here this time of night. They hadn’t decided on a direction, but they’re headed for the East end, which is entirely civilian. It’s mostly residential but there are also civilian-run restaurants and shops, since the civilians who live in ninja villages tend to get weird about ‘ninja spaces’ and ‘civilian spaces’ and ‘mixed spaces’. Sakura’s parents opted for a place closer to Central. Ayame and Teuchi are actually their neighbors. The farther from Central you go, the more removed from ninja life you get. And they’re on a course to wind up about as far East as they can get without leaving the village completely.

It’s perfect, because Sakura needs to be somewhere no one knows her for awhile.

They land next to each other at the end of a well-lit street, and a couple of civilians startle at their silent arrival, but Sakura makes a point to relax her stance and stop trying to be stealthy. The civilians in Konoha aren’t as likely to be rattled by ninjas, but it still puts them at ease when said ninjas act like civilians. Plus they’re all trained how to clunk around making enough noise to fit in with the most clumsy of civilians, in case they need to blend in on mission, or infiltrate anywhere.

“So what’s the plan, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asks, smiling cheekily at his silly little rhyme. Sasuke barely suppresses a groan.

She hums in thought. “We could always get drunk in a bar somewhere?” she suggests brightly. It’s her birthday, she’s spent way too much of it worrying about what other people think of her, and now she wants to get just drunk enough not to care about what other people think.

“Eh? But we’re all underage,” Naruto says, even as they start walking down the street at a leisurely pace. Sakura loops her arms around each of theirs, giddy in the knowledge they’re like putty in her hands right now, and pulls them along.

“But you forget where we are,” she says smartly. She spies a friendly-looking bar to the right, a short line formed at the door where the guy checks IDs, and she grins widely and makes a beeline for it. Naruto and Sasuke drag along behind her like rag dolls.

The guy at the door sizes them up, then boredly asks for ID. Sakura gives him a small frown and a bit of a pout. “But we’re shinobi.”

The guy gives them another once-over, and even though they’re all in casual clothes right now, they definitely don’t pass for civilians. Naruto’s whisker marks and her Hyakugou Seal aren’t exactly common marks for civilians, and Sasuke is pretty much incapable of looking like anything other than a ninja at all times.

“So?” he asks.

Sakura sighs, like this isn’t the first time she’s had to explain things to some idiot civilian, “So shinobi don’t carry ID. It’s a security risk.”

He seems to understand at least that much, which is good since it’s true, and if this guy is going to make it in a ninja village, even in the civilian part of town, there are some things he’s going to have to learn.

“Well you gotta be 20 to enter.”

Sakura just sighs again, and Naruto shifts beside her nervously. Oh ye of little faith.

“Of course we’re not 20, do we look 20? Like I just said, we’re _shinobi.”_

No recognition. Sakura resists the urge to smile. She loves having to spell it out for people.

“All shinobi are considered legal adults under village law. We could’ve started drinking at twelve, if we’d wanted to.”

Lying is all about confidence. Ninja law has the same drinking age as civilian law, but this guy doesn’t know that. Why would he, when Sakura here is telling him something entirely different without a second of hesitation?

“Look,” she says gently, “I can tell you’re new here, so if you really aren’t comfortable letting us in, we can celebrate my birthday someplace else, no harm done.”

The guy visibly softens the second she mentions it’s her birthday, so she gives him a sweet smile, and goes in for the kill. “Come along, boys,” she says as she gathers visible chakra beneath her feet and bends her knees like she’s about to jump.

“Wait,” the guy says.

Hook, line, and sinker.

“Go ahead.” He motions them inside, and Sakura thanks him and smiles—he’s young and looks like he only just grew into his good looks so a little flirt goes a long way—and pulls Naruto and Sasuke inside.

The first thing Naruto says is “Whoa.”

Sakura laughs and drags the both of them up to the bar. She’s got a goal, and that goal is to get drunk without having to pay for a single drink. She orders the first round for all three of them—beer for now—and staunchly refuses to pay while the bartender waits. Eventually Naruto drags out his frog-wallet, and she relaxes back into her seat with a flushed smile.

“How’d you know to do that?” Naruto asks, rolling the beer glass around in his hand and then sipping from it. “That was awesome!”

“I grew up in a civilian family, remember?” she says. “Most civilians don’t know the first thing about shinobi laws. They’re intimidated by the whole thing. All they know is that it’s perfectly legal to send a six-year-old to war. From there, it’s not much of a stretch to convince them of whatever the hell you want.”

Sasuke chimes in with a “Tch,” and then busies himself with his beer, eyes scanning the bar for potential threats. Not that he’s likely to find any. Naruto gets a dazed look on his face, like the world has just shifted a couple paces to the left.

“Sakura-chan, you’re _amazing,”_ Naruto says honestly.

Sakura hides a smile behind the rim of her glass and says “I know.”

Three rounds later, Sakura feels like she’s floating three feet above her actual body. She wonders if maybe Ino went looking for her and her mind-jutsu went horribly wrong, and now her mind is stuck floating above her body or something. But nope. She’s just pleasantly drunk, and soon enough she winds up seeing things from the proper height again. Though what she’s seeing is that her boys—and they’re _hers,_ okay?—are not drunk enough. They’re practically sober. And that’s just—just _sad._

“Hey, hey,” she cuts in, even though she’s pretty sure they weren’t even talking. Her boys are so weird. They act like they still hate each other but they obviously don’t, and she’s sitting in the middle ‘cause that’s just where she goes, ‘cause otherwise they get all stupid. But they don’t _need_ to be stupid, they’re just too stupid to know that.

“Shots,” she declares, and makes to wave over the bartender.

“Eh?” Naruto squeaks from beside her. “Sakura-chan, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re pretty—”

“Not for _me,”_ she says, drawing out her syllables and rolling her eyes. “For idiot boys and their oversized chakras.”

Sasuke huffs from her other side and says “He’s the one cheating with the demon.”

“Oi!” Naruto leans forward over the bar to glare at Sasuke. “It’s not cheating. It’s cooperating.”

Sasuke snorts. “Call it what you want. Some of us actually worked for our power.”

Naruto blows out a breath and says “Unlike assholes who just copy everything with the stupid sharingan. Who’s the cheater now?”

“Shots,” Sakura says the moment the bartender walks up. “Lots of shots.”

Naruto and Sasuke keep bickering at each other, with Sakura quickly losing patience between them.

“Any liquor preference?” the bartender asks, and Sakura just takes one quick look at each of her companions and then gives the guy a flat look and says “Whatever’s strong enough to burn the stupid out of them.”

The bartender chuckles and then says “I’ll see what I can do.”

A handful of seconds later, there are three shotglasses lined up in front of each of the boys, and they’ve finally stopped arguing like teenaged girls to stare down at the shots in anticipation.

Sakura nods in approval. This will do for now. Their extensive chakra reserves can definitely burn through a lot more alcohol than hers—even with the reserve seal, all her extra chakra is locked away, whereas they both have theirs just coursing freely through their systems at all times. But they’re not immune to the stuff, either, and they’re all still fairly young drinkers—though not inexperienced. Years with Jiraiya, Tsunade, and snake-face did more than enough for their tolerance.

“First one to down all three wins. On my count,” she says, and watches gleefully as the both of them gear up, hands hovering around the first glass. Sakura takes a sip of her drink—she’d gotten something fruity with a low alcohol content to accompany their shots—and then counts to three and says “Go.”

Ninja reflexes are not to be taken lightly. Even to her trained eye, the three successive shots by both of them go by so quickly that their motions look blurred. To the civilians here, it probably looked like they hadn’t moved at all. But both of them have three empty shot glasses on the bar in front of them, and both of them have slightly pinched looks from the burn of alcohol.

Sakura lets out a laugh and then says “Tie!” and ignores their protests as she twirls the swizzle stick in her drink between her fingers.

It takes another fifteen minutes for the shots to start kicking in, and then they beg for a rematch, one shot each, which Sakura also declares a tie. She laughs at their suffering, polishes off her drink, and watches as they dig themselves deeper with yet another shot. Massive chakras or not, they’re going to be feeling the burn from that one, and Sakura downright refuses to declare the outcome because if pressed, they would rematch each other into alcohol poisoning.

Instead, she gets them all a round of water, and not long after that they’re stumbling out into the street, three drunken ninjas that would still be deadlier than an entire army of stone-cold sober civilians.

The only problem is, they left the bar. They left the bar and that means there’s no more alcohol, since the alcohol lives in the bar. And they’re all way too drunk to trick anyone to letting them in again, but they’re also not drunk enough to—They’re just not drunk _enough._ And so long as Naruto and Sasuke don’t—don’t stupid-challenge each other’s stupidness with stupid shots, they can keep going.

And she’s got a couple bottles of sake from Tsunade’s private collection (Shannaro!) underneath her bed at her apartment. Which means they should go there.

She hooks her arms around their necks and then says boldly, “To my apartment!” and Naruto agrees wholeheartedly without knowing why they’re going there. ‘Cause Naruto is good like that.

Plus walking like this means the boys are sort of carrying her, and keeping their only arms busy. Which means they’re not hitting at each other, and neither of them can run off. Sakura is a freaking _genius,_ okay?

Her apartment is quiet and dark when the three of them stumble in, but she quickly turns on a lamp in the corner, because it’s dim, and then she rummages around for the sake while the boys attempt to behave themselves in a girl’s apartment.

She’s got less sake than she thought, at least if she doesn’t want to open the special bottle Tsunade-shishou said was for a special occasion (she doesn’t think this counts, even if it _is_ her birthday.) But she brings the other bottle, three-fourths full, back to the low table the boys have seated themselves at, on opposite sides and glaring drunkenly at each other.

“Oi,” she says flatly as she collapses on one side of the table, effectively establishing herself as a mediator, “Help me drink this.”

She holds the bottle out and shakes it, sake sloshing around inside.

“Eh?” Naruto says slowly, blinking at the bottle, “but Sakura-chan, we don’t have—”

Sakura uncorks the bottle and takes a swig from it, wiping at her mouth and passing it to Naruto. “So?”

He flushes, because boys are stupid, but he helps himself to some sake and then grudgingly slides the bottle to Sasuke, across the table. Sasuke is way more reluctant, but then Naruto asks if he’s afraid he’s gonna get cooties, and Sasuke says he doesn’t wanna catch whatever idiot-disease Naruto’s got, and then they’re bickering and Sakura lets out a lazy killing intent that shuts them both up, and gets Sasuke to drink from the damn bottle.

“Mou,” she mutters to herself, accepting the bottle for a bit of contemplation before she takes her turn. It goes around like that for a while, awkward silence marked only by the passing of the bottle as they whittle down the sake, but Naruto is a happy drunk, and he can only last so long in silence before he’s bound to say something—

“Hey, _hey,_ d’you think they’ll give stone Hokashi-sensei a face?”

—stupid.

“What?” Sasuke asks, irritated.

Naruto frowns at himself, like he doesn’t understand why his mouth didn’t listen to his brain. “Kaka-sensei,” he says, more slowly, “D’you think, now that he’s Hokage, they’ll give him a face?”

“Naruto—”

“On the monument,” Naruto continues, slumping until his chin is resting on his arm on the table. When the sake bottle comes to him, he lets it sit on the table for a moment, like he’s forgotten about it. Which is probably for the best, ‘cause he’s drunker than Sakura. Probably.

“What?” she asks, blinking slowly.

“His _mask,”_ Naruto stresses.

“Ohhhhh,” Sakura hiccups, then starts laughing.

“See!” Naruto cries. “Tha’s why I wanna know!”

“Idiot,” says Sasuke. “His face is normal. He only wears that mask because—” Sasuke scowls, “because—”

“‘Cause he’s got _fish lips,”_ Naruto says breathlessly, laughing and pounding his palm on the table. Sakura bursts into another round of laughter herself, clutching at her stomach and trying to picture the Hokage Monument with fish lips on it.

“Or _rabbit teeth,_ ” Sakura adds between her own bouts of laughter.

Sasuke just keeps scowling, a flush built up on his cheeks, and he swipes the sake bottle from Naruto to take a swig.

“Or a lumberjack beard,” says Naruto, “Or a girly mole, or a _unibrow—”_

“We’d be able to see a unibrow, idiot!” Sasuke yells, takes another gulp of sake, and then chucks the empty bottle at Naruto. Naruto ducks almost by accident, collapsing back onto the table and laughing hysterically, and the bottle rolls harmlessly across the floor and away from them.

“But _Sa~suke~”_ sings Naruto, “What if Kaka-sensei’s got a _butt chin?”_

Sakura can see it getting to Sasuke, slowly, but she’s too busy laughing herself to tell Naruto to look for himself.

“‘N then they carve it in the rock, and then there’s a _giant butt_ on the mountain, looking over all of Konoha. And everyone’ll be like, hey, why’d Konoha ‘lect a butt for Hokage, ‘n then they’re gonna ask _me,_ ‘cause I’m not a butt, and that’s the story how I became Hokage.” Naruto collapses back on himself, giggly and drunk.

Sakura holds back her laugh for a good few seconds, but she can’t help it, it’s _ridiculous,_ and she bursts out laughing all over again, slumping over the table herself until she’s bumping up against Naruto. She can barely hear it when Sasuke snorts, but then she lifts her head and points at Naruto’s face and it’s _so funny,_ all on its own, and she just says “Your _whiskers!”_ and cracks up again.

Naruto’s face, carved into rock. With his _cute little whiskers._ Shit, it’s just so funny! He’s gonna be the cute little genin that became Hokage, and he’s still gonna have whiskers, and they’re gonna be carved in stone forever, and—

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto pouts, patting at his cheeks like he can wipe the whiskers off. “They’re not—”

“No, no, no,” she says hurriedly, reaching out to pull Naruto’s hand away from his face. “They’re cute.” She starts laughing again at that, and Naruto’s face twitches, like he’s a cat, and his whiskers twitch too, and she can’t help it—

“Sakura-chan~n,” Naruto whines, pulling away. She stops him, then, ‘cause this is _serious,_ okay? Naruto can’t—No way. Not Naruto.

“No, hey, Naruto,” she says, surprisingly gentle, the alcohol easing the way. Her fingers trace over the whisker marks, feather-light. “I like them.”

And she does. She didn’t always, but she does now, so that’s what matters. Right?

Her fingers keep tracing the marks even as she smiles and bites at her lip, and then Naruto looks up to meet her eyes, her hand still on his cheek. He looks so _sincere,_ and sweet, and amazed, like no one ever said anything like that—

Has anyone? ‘Cause they _should’ve._ He’s...he’s _Naruto._ She can’t not love him. He’s _Uzumaki Naruto._ And that’s—that’s—

That’s why she leans over the table and kisses him.

She might be drunk, but she swears it doesn’t normally take boys _this long_ to respond to a kiss. But their lips are still pressed together and she’s still the only one doing anything. Naruto is just sitting there, tasting like too much booze and not moving.

She almost pulls away and starts stuttering, but finally, Naruto wakes the hell up and starts kissing back. It’s messy and awkward with the angle over the table, but he’s enthusiastic and his mouth is soft, and she leans ever more over the table until they’re both half-falling around the corner, pulling close to each other, her with an arm around the back of his neck and his arm coming to rest near her waist.

They part only to gasp for air, and then Naruto says, quiet, “Sakura-chan,” and that—isn’t—

Shit!

She pulls away and opens her eyes wide, breathless, and Naruto does the same. Then, still holding each other near, they both turn their heads toward Sasuke, who’s sitting across the table with his chin on his palm, gazing at them unapologetically.

“Don’t stop on my account,” he says dryly, still slightly slurred from the sake.

They’re frozen, then, or as frozen as they can be when the world is a little dizzy if she moves too quickly, but she can feel Naruto’s heart beating fast, and his almost-panic at this whole thing. This isn’t how this was supposed to go, right? This wasn’t...

She turns to look back at Naruto, still too close, and Naruto turns too. Then they lock eyes, and Naruto just looks so _determined,_ and she thinks, is this his stupid rivalry with Sasuke? Is he gonna win her just to rub it in his face?

But then, no—

That time. On the hospital roof. She knows, _knows,_ he feels about Sasuke the same way she does. Maybe they express it different, but he wouldn’t...

She was supposed to do this with Sasuke, right? Her and Sasuke, and Naruto would...

Naruto would...

But Naruto, here, the one looking at her—he looks determined. And he nods at her, just once, just barely, and then he pulls his arm away from her waist and she thinks, this is how it ends, but then he just keeps going, until it’s reaching out across the table, palm open, toward Sasuke.

Sakura reels for a moment, trying to figure out what he’s doing. Is he tapping out? Trading places with him? Trying to fight him, or—

Or invite him?

To _them?_

She can’t think, and it’s not because of the alcohol, it’s because she doesn’t know what to do about this. What Naruto is suggesting—

But it won’t work, not without her, so she ignores her brain and turns, reaching out her own arm in a mirror of Naruto’s. Then they both look like idiots, arms outstretched toward an unimpressed Sasuke, still sitting much too close and Sakura’s other arm still curled around the back of Naruto’s neck.

“What are you—?”

“Come on, bastard,” says Naruto with a cheeky grin. “Join the party.”

It’s stupid, it’s so _stupid,_ and she giggles just a bit, but she still means it—still keeps her arm outstretched—and Naruto doesn’t waver at all.

Sasuke still makes them wait, and wait, and wait. He doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink, and doesn’t look at all like he wants to do...whatever it is they’re suggesting he do. Actually, Sakura doesn’t know. She just...wants him.

Wants both hims.

“Sas,” Naruto says, so quiet it feels like Sakura isn’t meant to hear it.

“Sasuke-kun,” she says.

Sasuke stares and stares, unmoving, until finally, the barest twitch of a smile across his lips, and he rises—almost like he wants to leave, and he _can’t,_ he just can’t, not when they’re this close to something—but then he’s walking around the table and reaching his own arm out.

Sakura and Naruto grab him, pulling him down with them until they’re all in a heap on the floor. There’s an awkward pause while they’re all lying on top of each other, staring, and then Naruto makes like the dolt he is and practically bangs Sasuke’s head into Sakura’s, their foreheads bumping painfully and Naruto withdrawing his hand from behind Sasuke’s head and saying quickly, “Sorry, sorry! Wow, good thing your forehead’s so big, Sakura-chan.”

She starts to growl, ready to tear Naruto apart for even thinking something like this could work, but then she _had_ made fun of his whisker marks, and—

And Sasuke leans in and kisses her.

What?

Her inner 12-year-old dies and goes to heaven, because finally this day has come. But the rest of her is still reacting, and she kisses back, pulling Sasuke closer, opening her mouth to him. Then she feels a shifting against her arm, still trapped beneath Naruto, and she curls and pulls in until Naruto is pressed against her. He’s not allowed to escape. Neither of them are.

Naruto’s mouth finds its way to her neck, nipping at the side and pressing wet kisses there. She lets her hands roam freely, skirting above clothing and seeking out the warmth of bare skin. She’s not sure how this is going to go forward, but she knows she wants it to. She doesn’t want this to stop, even if it’s just a lot of kissing and groping.

A hand—she’s not sure whose—brushes up her thighs and over her shorts, just over her clit, and she pulls her mouth away just to gasp. Then they pause, like they’re worried they’ve done something wrong, which is _stupid_ and could they please return to the kissing and groping? So she reaches out until her hands grasp the first hand they find, and she presses it down right at the hem of her shorts, a clear invitation. There isn’t nearly enough nudity for her liking.

She thinks the hand she found must’ve been Naruto’s, because he lets out a low growl as he presses his face against her neck again. She shivers, surprised that it turns her on, and she slits her eyes open just enough to see Sasuke and pull his face back down to meet hers.

Naruto’s fingers move down, slipping beneath the fabric, and she whines into Sasuke’s mouth when a finger slides into her effortlessly. She can feel how wet she is already, and her legs fall open because she wants more. Sasuke’s hand is hovering over the stretch of bare skin at her waist, hesitant, and even with three of them, there aren’t nearly enough hands because these two idiots—

She laughs a little hysterically, shoving both Naruto and Sasuke away and saying “Off, off.”

They reel back, stunned and blinking, but she doesn’t give them time to think before she strips off her top and then her shorts, arching her hips up with the bare skin of her back pressing against the cool floor. Then she’s naked and spread out before them, _waiting,_ and it would figure that her boys are just a bit too shocked to move. Does she have to do everything?

She huffs, mutters “Idiots,” and leans up to yank them both gracelessly forward so she can work on stripping them so they’re all on even ground. It snaps them both out of their daze, Naruto a bit sooner than Sasuke, and she tugs at shirts and pants indiscriminately.

Sasuke is barely out of his shirt before he falls toward her, sucking gentle kisses into her neck, her collarbone, her nipples, sliding down past her navel and along the curve of her hip. She sucks in a breath and her fingers tighten in the fabric of Naruto’s undershirt, which is twisted up around his head, somewhere between on and off. She tugs without even really paying attention, not with Sasuke’s mouth pressing wetly against her clit, and Sasuke licks into her just as Naruto twists blindly and tumbles to the floor with a thump and an “Ow!”

Sasuke pulls away from her clit, which gives her enough clarity to release her fingers from Naruto’s shirt.

“What the hell!” Naruto whines as he tries to wrestle himself out of the twisted shirt without seeing, and Sakura collapses in laughter and leans over to catch his flailing wrist.

“Stop, stop! Let me—Naruto, just—” and when he finally stops _moving_ all over, she untwists his shirt from around his neck and pulls it off, still trying to stifle her laughter. Naruto is flushed and pouty, and she finds it adorable for all of two seconds before she lets her fingertips trail down from his shoulder over his pecs and the soft rippling of his abs. It’s not like she hadn’t thought about it before, or seen Naruto shirtless a million times, but now she can _touch_ and she finds that just knowing she can doubles how much she wants to.

Sasuke takes a moment to whack him over the back of the head, which kind of breaks her trance, but then he huffs and immediately licks a long stripe up her cunt. Sakura curses and gulps down air in the few seconds before Naruto’s mouth closes over her own in a kiss, and for a dizzying moment all she can feel is wet mouths everywhere.

Her hand curls around Naruto’s side to pull him closer, until they’re pressed together from shoulder to hip. Sasuke’s fingers are digging bruises into her thigh, keeping her open as his tongue traces circles around her clit. She can barely draw in breath. And then Naruto’s fingers come up to tweak her nipple, skirting the edge of painful, and she bangs her head back and grips her thighs as the orgasm rolls through her.

They both slow but don’t stop, and she’s already started speeding toward a second one by the time she comes back to herself, but like hell she’s coming again without someone inside of her, so she gasps out unintelligible noises and uses her hands to push Naruto back and rotates her hips away from Sasuke’s mouth. She keeps rolling smoothly, pulling up onto unsteady legs, and looks down at them.

They’re a little stunned, which is fair, but she just says “I’m gonna go find condoms and lube. Keep going.” And then she stumbles into her bedroom to dig around in her bedroom drawers while she tries to suck in enough oxygen to think clearly.

Her lube is readily available but the condoms are buried under her panties from the last time her parents visited. She almost expects the boys to be in exactly the same position she’d left then in when she gets back, too gobsmacked to move, but she stops breathing when she _does_ weave back into the main room to find Sasuke’s pants shoved down his hips and his cock in Naruto’s mouth.

She whimpers and pulls up short so she doesn’t crash into the floor at the tingling heat that zings up her thighs. She’s never really gotten off on guys together, no matter what ridiculously smutty novels Ino had shoved at her, but these are _her_ guys and it’s all the difference.

Sakura jolts forward again and throws down the supplies right next to Naruto’s bobbing head. He pulls off dazedly and Sasuke makes a strangled, frustrated noise. There’s a wisp of guilt for interrupting them but it’s gone the second she grabs Naruto by the back of the head and drags him into a kiss right over Sasuke’s flushed cock.

She can barely taste the bitterness. Her fingers twist and tug at Naruto’s hair before she lets one hand fall to curl delicately around Sasuke’s cock. She barely strokes him but Sasuke’s hips buck up anyway and his breath comes in ragged and loud.

Sakura _needs._

She pulls back from Naruto’s kiss, taking just enough space so she can speak. “I’m gonna ride you.” She doesn’t specify who, but her hand is still around Sasuke, and Naruto falls all over himself saying “Hell yeah, Sas!” and already ripping open a condom with his teeth and helping Sakura roll it down over Sasuke’s cock.

“Do I get a say in this?” Sasuke asks, sarcastic but breathy, staring at the ceiling like he’s not entirely sure he’s inhabiting his own body.

“Do you have a better idea?” Sakura asks at the same time Naruto says “No.”

Sasuke’s silence is answer enough, and Sakura and Naruto share a grin.

Then Naruto loops his arm around her waist and lifts her like she’s weightless, straddling her over Sasuke’s hips and pressing up close behind her. She groans and closes her eyes a moment. She’d never really thought of herself as the type to like being handled—she's a kunoichi and powerful in her own right—but this is sex and the woman in her has apparently been yearning for that kind of treatment without her knowledge.

“Pay attention, bastard,” Naruto says just before she sinks down. They forgot the lube entirely but it doesn’t matter because she’s so slick and wet and relaxed from her first orgasm. Sasuke doesn’t move but for digging his fingers into the floor. Sakura gets dizzy with the sensation, just reveling in being filled, and she swears she would’ve stayed just like that forever if it weren’t for Naruto pressed up behind her, his arm gripping just under her ribs, urging her the barest bit up and then easing her back down.

The movement shocks her back to herself and she clenches around the slide, letting her head fall back on Naruto’s shoulder. If he wants to do all the work for her, she’s not about to say no.

“C’mon,” she says.

Naruto’s arm tightens around her and then he’s moving with her, rocking up and down in a slow, steady roll. Sakura can feel all the trapped heat between her back and his body, the friction between their skin as they try to move as one, his hard cock pressed against the curve where her ass meets her lower back, and before long Sasuke is groaning and thrusting his hips in short, erratic bursts.

She floats for a awhile, her head lolled on Naruto’s shoulder as her hair plasters itself to his sweat-soaked skin, and she can feel Sasuke getting restless beneath her, inside her, but Naruto won’t pick up the pace and won’t stop. She’s content to let this drag on as long as it needs to, but then this is Naruto, and he’s trickier than anyone gives him credit for, and after another three torturously slow rolls, she hears Sasuke snap out “Move like you fucking mean it, idiot.”

A ghost of a laugh comes out as she exhales, and she can feel the vibrations of Naruto’s chest when he says “Make me.”

Neither of them expect Sasuke to launch up, until Sakura is seated in his lap and blinking in shock at the shift inside of her, and he uses his arm to reach around her to clutch at the back of Naruto’s head and drag him in for something that’s really more of a bite than a kiss. She watches in her periphery as much as she can, gasping with it and thinking, a little hysterically, that this is just a continuation of all their fighting.

Naruto’s arm loosens around her waist in distraction, and she takes it upon herself to start fucking herself onto Sasuke’s cock, reaching one arm around each of them to pull them in as she slides between them. It’s a little awkward at first, but she adjusts her knees and shifts her hips and then it’s just rising and falling, rising and falling and listening to every little gasp of their kiss, right up against her ear.

“Come on, Sakura, is that all you’ve got?” Sasuke says against Naruto’s mouth, and she takes the challenge for what it is and slams down, starting in a brutal pace that only gets sloppier the longer she tries to maintain it. She can feel herself getting closer, knows the boys can hear it in her frantic whimpering, and then Naruto’s arm releases from her waist and his hand snakes down to where Sasuke’s slipping into her.

His fingers slide around the wetness there for a moment, tickling and light, and then his slick fingertips are rubbing _hard_ against her clit. All at once it’s too much, and she comes with her mouth wide open and a drawn-out moan, her rhythm giving out when her thighs tense and loosen in waves.

They’ve lost track of their kiss somewhere along the way, and Sasuke is still rocking inside her but it’s too much now. She feels wrung-out and aching, and she lifts herself off of him and breathes, “I need—I need—let me—” and somehow she scrambles from between the two of them to collapse on the floor beside them, breathing deeply and pressing the length of her spine against the cool matting of the floor.

She’s not sure she can say anything else, but she manages to flick her hand at them, and then she watches, fascinated, as Naruto just falls into Sasuke, lining up their cocks and gripping both of them. Sasuke punches out a breath and jerks his hips up.

Naruto buries his face against Sasuke’s neck, biting into the flesh there as his hand pumps rapidly over them both. The relaxed lines of Sasuke’s body go rigid just before he comes, his hand locked around the back of Naruto’s neck. Naruto comes right after him, groaning against Sasuke’s skin. She can’t help but watch his cock as he spills all over the place between them, on their abs and thighs and his hand and the floor. She slides her fingers down toward her clit, but she’s still oversensitive so she settles it on her stomach instead, counting the breaths each of them take as they come back from the crest.

She’s almost worried they’re going to leave without another word or even a glance in her direction, but instead she learns that Naruto likes to cuddle, from the way he sprawls over the both of them with a sated, sleepy smile and absolutely refuses to let them go anywhere.

Sakura doesn’t want to fall asleep on the floor when there’s a bed only a few steps away, but she doesn’t want to move, and she figures if the floor was good enough to fuck on, it’s good enough to doze on. In a few hours she can wake them and herd them toward her bed, and maybe in the process they can work in a round two or something.

For now, she closes her eyes, safe in the hazy knowledge that she finally has her boys right where she wants them, at least for the night.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the last two chapters, posted back-to-back as promised. :)
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been along for the ride. This is the first fic of this length I've completed and posted in increments, and it's been a wonderfully positive experience, thanks to all of you folks.
> 
> Feel free to comment or critique at the bottom. 9 times out of 10 I'll respond, even if it's been awhile.
> 
> Keep your eye out for the sequel. It's not finished just yet, but it's close. I just want to give this one some breathing room.
> 
> As always, happy reading~!
> 
> .

Naruto wakes up alone in Sakura’s bed, which sucks. Morning-after cuddles are the best, and he’s a little mad that Sakura and Sasuke totally aren’t down with that. He’s gonna have to bring them around.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and stumbles toward the kitchen, hoping he can steal some of Sakura’s food for breakfast. Sakura is there, standing at the counter and making tea, and he grins sleepily and says “Good morning, Sakura-chan.”

She stiffens as Naruto passes by (which, weird) and he starts rifling through her cabinets. He’s got his hopes up for instant ramen, if he’s honest, but Sakura knows him too well and says “Have some fruit.” She points at some watermelon and pineapple slices sitting on a place on the table. Naruto makes a wounded noise of defeat, but slumps into a chair and starts shoving fruit into his mouth.

It takes four slices of watermelon and two rings of pineapple before his brain is online enough to ask “Where’s Sasuke?”

Sakura straight-up freezes at that, which is _definitely_ weird, and then she brings her cup of tea over to the table and slumps into a chair across from him. “I don’t know.”

Naruto frowns, hums, chews. “Eh? Didn’t you see him this morning? Did he say where he was going or—?”

“I said I don’t know!” Sakura snaps.

Naruto gives her his best wounded-puppy eyes.

She deflates. “He must’ve slipped out without waking either of us.”

“Why?”

Sakura sips at her tea and raises her eyebrows. “Why do you think?”

Naruto has _no idea,_ so that doesn’t actually answer his question. Even if Sakura seems to think it should. “Because he’s gotta...go...train?” he tries.

She sighs like she thinks Naruto is being deliberately stupid, which he’s _not._

“What? We had a great night, everything was fun, and I wanted morning cuddles or, like, morning sex.”

She puts her teacup down and looks at him, and she looks way too serious and stressed and unhappy. “We’re probably not doing that again.”

Now _she’s_ being deliberately stupid. “Why not?”

“Naruto...”

“Why not, though? It was awesome!”

“It’s not that simple,” Sakura says. She looks tired. Not tired-tired, but like she’s tired of this conversation. Tired of having to explain things to Naruto, and he’s been trying to pay attention to that sort of thing and learn, because he doesn’t want to feel like the stupidest kid in class forever, but this time she’s wrong. He knows it. He feels it, or whatever.

“Is too,” he says childishly.

Sakura shakes her head mutely.

Well, fine. Naruto will just have to prove it to her and Sasuke both. He stands, ‘cause someone’s gotta go track down Sasuke and it’s not gonna be Sakura, and he says “Hey, Sakura-chan?”

She meets his eyes in acknowledgment.

“You know I love you, right?”

She nearly drops her teacup, startled and flustered and blushing adorably. A grin sneaks up on him, splitting his face.

Naruto pops another chunk of pineapple into his mouth, walking toward the door because he doesn’t really expect a response. But just before he leaves the room, Sakura says “I know,” and that’s when Naruto knows it’s all gonna work out.

 

* * *

 

Sakura doesn’t see either of them for three full days. She’s keeping busy, though, spending a lot of time at the hospital getting to know some of the newest genins thinking about specializing in medical ninjutsu. She’s almost convinced herself that Naruto has given up and has taken to avoiding her like Sasuke so clearly is when Shizune tracks her down and leads her to the R&D wing of the hospital.

Tsunade is standing proudly in the middle of the room, hands on her hips as she looks at two cylindrical tanks, glowing faintly green. Sakura’s eyes widen in surprise when she steps closer and sees what’s actually _in_ the tanks. It looks strange and alien, seeing two detached arms floating there, pale enough to rival Sai’s skin tone and tinged green from the stream of healing chakra being pumped into the tanks.

But her academic curiosity overpowers any squeamishness, and she bypasses both Shizune and Tsunade to place delicate fingers against the cool glass, staring in at the perfectly-rendered prosthetics. “They’re finished?” she asks breathlessly.

“They are,” Tsunade says. “We’re operating in two hours, since it’s not like I could keep that brat at bay any longer. Are you available to scrub in?”

Sakura was still admiring the prosthetics, but at that she turns to look at Tsunade, completely blown away by all of this.

“I’ll clear my schedule,” she says, and Tsunade grins.

“Excellent.”

 

Shizune sends someone to fetch Naruto and Sasuke, who are supposedly both in the village but prove difficult to actually find. Naruto comes bounding into the room after an hour and he doesn’t even slow down before he’s wrapping Tsunade in a one-armed hug and yelling “It’s about damn time, Baa-chan!”

Tsunade huffs and ruffles his hair, and then Naruto is pulling away so he can fling himself at Sakura next, bouncing excitedly and rambling about being able to slurp down ramen faster and make shadow clones and really hug people. Any thoughts Sakura entertained about Naruto avoiding her disappear in the face of his exuberance, and she smiles as Naruto bounces up to the tanks and shoves his nose against the glass.

It takes another forty-five minutes for Sasuke to arrive. He looks bored and unimpressed, but he doesn’t avoid Sakura’s eyes, and it’d be downright impossible for him to ignore Naruto, since he’s all up in his face challenging Sasuke to all the sparring sessions the second they’re both done. It’s going to be hell getting them to go easy on their new prosthetics and follow the rehab regimen Tsunade had so carefully planned out.

Naruto is going first, because he’d be insufferable otherwise. He talks nonstop while they get him prepared and he’s still rambling when the anesthesia kicks in and he drifts off between one blink and the next. It’s a little nerve-wracking, seeing Naruto so quiet and still, but she’s seen him survive far worse and she’s a professional.

There’s a whole team of medic-nin in the operating room, flitting around the chakra circle and Naruto’s cot, but Tsunade is taking point with Sakura at her side. The procedure is simple, at its core. They’re fusing the prosthetic piece by piece, starting with the bone and moving up through the musculature, nerve endings, arteries and veins, skin, and then the chakra pathways.

But Tsunade is confident, and it shows when she breaks the skin without hesitation. Sakura hands her the tools as she needs them and catalogues every step. It’s not revolutionary medicine by any stretch, but it is new in a few key points, and she wants to learn as much as possible. They have an entire circle of medic-nins managing Naruto’s chakra suppression and vitals, so she’s not worried, but she’s still grateful that Tsunade is the one doing this, because she still has nightmares about her hand inside Naruto’s chest, desperate to keep his heart beating.

It goes perfectly. The second half of the procedure is less tools and more precise chakra technique, Tsunade’s gloved hands glowing green and slowly—painstakingly—fusing the bone. The soft tissue doesn’t take as long, but she’s careful with it, going over her work before moving on to the next step. When the flesh finally comes together, there’s a jagged line where Naruto’s tanned skin meets the pale white, but there’s no other scarring.

The chakra pathways are the hardest to connect, and Tsunade closes her eyes in concentration as she uses her chakra to weave them together. Sakura is watching Naruto’s slack face when there’s a sharp gasp from her side and Tsunade is clenching her teeth as her hands begin to shake over Naruto’s arm.

“What’s wrong?”

Tsunade speaks through clenched teeth, “Damn fox is fighting it.”

“Is it—”

“Hold on.” Tsunade’s fingers twitch and there’s a deep groove between her eyebrows. Naruto looks perfectly peaceful, but even the circle of medic-nins around them are looking strained, and it’s not just from the hours they’ve been seated on the floor.

Sakura counts her breaths, wishing she could see what was happening but not wanting to disturb anything by putting her chakra where it isn’t needed. Tsunade grinds her molars together and then pushes more chakra out her hands, the green flashing and overwhelming most of Naruto’s arm.

Sakura hears a crackle as the chakra snaps, and the green glow gives way to a burst of bubbling red chakra that envelops Naruto’s prosthetic arm in a flash. Tsunade steps back and swears. Sakura watches as the fox’s chakra bubbles angrily for a moment, and then she sighs in relief when it starts to dissipate, seeping harmlessly back into the skin. There’s a moment where everything is still, and then Tsunade hovers her hands over his arm again, declares them finished, and the medic-nins in the chakra circle start to rouse, scaling back on the chakra and leaving the circle.

Naruto won’t be awake for another few hours, possibly not until tomorrow, but Sakura’s content just knowing that he’s okay.

When she glances through the window into the observation room, Sasuke is still there. His eyes never left Naruto.

They rest before moving on to the next one, but Tsunade is eager to get it done. Sasuke doesn’t speak, but he does give Sakura a lot of pointed looks, eyebrows expressing more than words ever could. She gives him a lot of reassuring smiles. Her chest feels lighter, knowing that things aren’t strange. Her relationship with Sasuke had always seemed so fragile. She’d been worried that what happened that night had finally broken it, more than Orochimaru ever had.

Sasuke’s operation is much of the same, slow and exhausting, but there’s no complications connecting the chakra pathways this time, and she feels like she blinked and it was over. Sasuke is wheeled off to the same room Naruto is recovering in, and the medic-nins are congratulating each other on a successful round two, and Tsunade rattles off a list of directives for Shizune.

Sakura feels like her strings have been cut, and she collapses into a chair, breathing slowly in and out. Shizune is the one to finally snap her out of it, smiling knowingly and asking “Shouldn’t you be in the other room?”

It takes a moment for Sakura to realize what she means, but then her cheeks color and she nods, standing and stretching and avoiding Shizune’s eyes. Part of her wants to escape back to her apartment and sleep until she’s not tired and wrung-out, but she’s not about to pass up the chance to be in the same room with both her boys since that night. Especially since they can’t run, or annoy her to death with their constant bickering, at least not for another few hours.

She falls asleep in the chair in their room, her body folded at an awkward angle but feeling entirely at peace for the first time in days. She’ll be there when they wake.


	14. Chapter 14

The sex was a mistake.

Naruto and Sakura don’t appear to think so, but Sakura has always been somewhat lovestruck and Naruto is too stupid to think at all. He intends to avoid them until the post-coital haze has fully cleared and they move on. It proves difficult when Naruto spends three full days pestering him endlessly, and it proves nigh impossible when Tsunade finally finishes their prosthetics and they’re expected to rehab together under Sakura’s guidance.

He doesn’t fail to notice the way Naruto is aggravatingly tactile, trying to pass it off as a natural part of the rehabilitation and training process. He doesn’t fail to notice Sakura’s worried glances or the forced cheer in her voice, either.

Sasuke is just ignoring it. Responding would only elongate the mess one inebriated lapse of judgment has caused. He expects it to taper off, to fade, to shift into something less like flirting and more like hesitance. He expects Sakura to break under the weight of his persistent refusal. He expects Naruto to take every refusal as a personal challenge and make a mess of his entire, ridiculous plan. He expects to know them better.

Instead, Sakura’s eyes build with heat and hope, Naruto mistakes his reluctance as playful teasing, and by the time Sasuke thinks to reassess his handling of the situation, he’s backed into a metaphorical corner and listening the reverberation of his own rapid heartbeat.

“Time for fine motor skills,” Sakura declares, “We’re going out to eat.”

Naruto scrunches up his face and squints at her. “Eh?”

Sakura rolls her eyes and tugs him sharply toward the exit of the hospital rehab grounds. “Chopsticks. Come on. There’s a Kiri cuisine place I want to try. Coming, Sasuke?”

Sasuke shrugs and follows a few paces behind them.

Sakura is a competent medic-nin. When they were young, he’d never seen that potential in her, but then they’d both been different people back then. He’d been absorbed in his own head, and she’d been a fawning girl with a crush the size of her forehead. She’s easier to be around, now that she’s grown into herself.

He’d never say the same about Naruto, although there’s an itching in the back of his mind that says the same is true of him.

The chopsticks are no harder to handle with his new prosthetic left hand than they had been with his right. He suspects he’ll never reach the same level of competence he’d had with his original left hand, but he’s not overly concerned about his ability to use chopsticks. He’s more eager to see if he can manage a chidori, though he doubts Sakura will allow that any time soon.

Naruto struggles significantly more, and Sasuke takes great pleasure in watching him struggle. He finally gives up with a huff, and stabs a fried tentacle with one chopstick. He immediately uses it to point at Sasuke, saying “Shut up, bastard.”

Sasuke raises his eyebrow. _I didn’t say anything._

Naruto chews viciously and glares, then swallows and sticks out his tongue before submitting to Sakura’s pointed instructions to maintain a proper grip and try again. His tongue pokes out of his lips in concentration. He looks ridiculous.

Sasuke can’t believe he slept with that.

When Sasuke had woken up from the anesthesia to Naruto whining about jello flavors and Sakura growling about Naruto, it had felt aggressively normal. Somewhere between then and now, it’d stopped feeling ‘aggressive’ at all and had slipped into something almost easy.

He doesn’t trust it.

The problem in that lies in the fact that he does trust _them._ Against his better judgment, he trusts them, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to separate that from his distrust of the situation.

Life was much simpler when the only thing he cared about was killing Itachi.

Sakura watches disdainfully as Naruto uses his new hand to fumble his ridiculous frog purse open and spill coins and bills all over the table haphazardly.

“Put it away,” she says, pulling out a small wallet, “This is rehab, so the hospital is paying.”

Naruto brightens at the news, but frowns when he looks at the money scattered on the tabletop. He’s probably not intelligent enough to realize it, but Sakura subtly waited for him to do that before telling him it was unnecessary. He wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to trick Naruto into all of his rehab. Left to his own devices, he would probably launch right into jutsu practice.

Sasuke probably would as well, but that’s another matter entirely.

Sakura and Naruto manage to have an entirely silent conversation using only glances and eyebrow movement as they make their way out of the restaurant. He doesn’t catch what they’re not-saying to each other, but he’s distracted in wondering just how in the hell Naruto could ever learn the art of speaking through expressions when he’s spent his entire life trying to be the loudest, most oblivious person in the room.

When the cool night air hits them, Naruto immediately throws one arm each over Sakura and Sasuke’s shoulders, hooking them around the neck and saying “No more stupid rehab tonight! Let’s go back to Sakura’s.”

Sasuke immediately ducks out of his arm and pulls back. He knows exactly what they were saying to each other with all those looks, now, just as he knows where they want this night to end. He gathers chakra beneath his feet to jump away, and, inexplicably, hesitates.

Sasuke looks at Sakura and Naruto ahead of him, records every detail of their retreating forms, and wonders—

If his life so far has been a drawn-out series of mistakes—from the Uchiha massacre through Orochimaru and the war, all the way back to the Valley of the End—then what is one more?

Sasuke lets the chakra dissipate beneath his feet, shoves his hands into his pockets, and follows.

 

 

_Fin._


End file.
